A few quick updates

 

  Greetings all! I pray this day is finding you doing well and happy... Although the temperatures are soaring as high as I'd like them to this time of year, the sun is however, shining.

     I just wanted to send out a quick post and let you know about some updates. I've been making some positive changes to accommodate the growing popularity of my blog and my book publications. First of all, I'd like to say thank you for your continued support. I truly, from the bottom of my heart love sharing life with you! Life is a wild ride that isn't meant to be spent without the company of others.

    I've made some (what I hope are) positive upgrades to my webpage:
          http://sarastjohn.wixsite.com/author
     I felt it was missing a little something so I've added a few features. There is a section now where you can sign up to receive updates. There is also a reach out page, where you can send me an email- ask questions or whatever.
I've also linked my blog to my website, so whether you visit this page or my webpage you can easily find my blog.

   I'm back to using Twitter again, I had stepped away temporarily. Let's just say I was having some technical issues with posting stuff. *technology* You can find me on there @sarastjohn1 
I'm also on Instagram, sarast.john_author

    There will be a promo coming up soon with "The Beloved series." It will be posted on the Sara St.John Author page and most likely the Beloved page too on Facebook and depending on participation and popularity, I may run it on Instagram too. Since I'm quite limitless with the internet, I may run the promo on here too! So stay tuned in all the right places, you know how to find me *wink*

    So, with all that being said, thank you all once again! I wholeheartedly enjoy hearing from you and receiving your feedback. Please remember to leave reviews, we Indie authors especially appreciate them. It helps us break through the tough book market amidst all the big book companies. Support the little guy! Thank you once again! I look forward to hearing from you and seeing you on the wondrous web in the near future.

     Be blessed by being a blessing to someone else!

   

What good is Truth?

    According to one poll, 83% of American's identify themselves as Christian. While another poll cited that 70% considered themselves Christians, and nearly half shared that they attended church on Sundays.
     Let's take the lower number for this blog, let's stay with the 70% for a moment. Taking into account that 70% of American's consider themselves Christians, is it believable that our country is in the state that it's in?

    According to some data online (search yourself if you'd like) On average, 93 American's are killed with guns in a day. There are 12,000 gun related homicides in a year. In 4 months time, as of this moment right now, there have been 342,135 abortions. (romans322.comdaily-death-rate-statistics.php) I've only taken murder as an example because it is the most extreme form of violence- the taking of someones life, a person who doesn't want to die. Every being, the moment it begins to take a life form, yes, at the moment of conception, that being begins to have a "will." People have been murdered since the beginning of time.

     "Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering— fat potions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked  with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.' Now Cain said to his brother Abel, 'Let's go out to the field.' While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him." Genesis 4:3-8 MSG

     Doesn't that just make you sad? More than sad, grieved? God even had a pep talk with him about doing what is right and yet he still carried out his plan to kill his brother. If we as the 70% of Christians in the US, if we were doing what is right, do you think there would be as many murders as there are in our country? We don't have the authority to take another persons life! I know, you're thinking- I've never murdered anyone... Okay, let's move onto something a bit lighter but problematic, because— a sin, is a sin, is a sin.

     I really enjoy reading my Bible, like look forward to it each day. I can't wait to spend time with my Daddy at the end of the day. I love going to sleep with His word on my mind. I tell you what though, it's worthless unless I actually apply it to my life. THIS is where we get these statistics of the 70%-83% of Americans being Christians. This is where the truth come ushering in.

    "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." James 1:23-24

    "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

    Can you imagine looking in the mirror, walking away and forgetting what you just saw? It's as though you never looked in the mirror at all. Or committing to sitting down to watch your favorite movie of all time, spending two hours watching it and not remembering a single thing you just saw. James is a difficult book to read for many, it stings to read such things that remind us how senseless it is to read the Bible and do nothing about it— living as though we've never read a single page. To put it another way, writing on your resume for a job that you know how to tear down the engine of a car and rebuild it. You get hired, based on this admission. Your boss sets you to work, you have an engine to tear down and  rebuild. You haven't the faintest idea how to do it, finally, you admit to him that you read about it once. How much longer will you have that job, if you're not fired on the spot. This is something we can't fail at friends! This is not the time to be hearers and not doers. Our fellow humans need us. They need us to be who we say we are. Have you considered that this is why some folks don't like "us?" Because we're just as nasty as the rest of the world and yet, we claim to be something else? If you're not applying what the Bible says or what you hear at church on Sunday, you're deceived and you're doing nothing more than keeping a seat warm at church.

    "If i could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophesy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

   "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

    Love is patient... keeps no record of wrong... never gives up... endures in every circumstance... They're just words if they're not lived out. Do you have any idea how often this scripture is used during wedding vows? But the truth is, the love that is spoken of is to be applied— everywhere and to everyone!

     "A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you live one another." John 13:34-35

    Jesus loved us so much He died and rose again. That's some serious love. I still can't, at times, wrap my head around that one. Not only did He die for me, He died for everyone. We are called to love everyone. "Yeah but this one woman I work with always says horrible things to me." "There's this one girl scout mom who gossips untrue things about me." "This one guy is just a ****."

    I know... It's not easy. And sometimes we just don't want to love but this is where yielding comes in. Yielding to the Jesus within us. He's in there if we have a relationship with Him and if we're in the Word everyday. It's a matter of setting our flesh aside and yielding to His will which loves at all times. Oh my gosh, the blessing! The pure and utter blessing it is to be like Christ and to be Christ to others! Leave people wondering "What is so different about him or her?" Don't you want to be that person? Don't you want to be an individual and not blend in with the pale landscape of the crowd? Oh man, the life! Doing everything as unto the Lord gives so much more meaning to life! Life will never be boring or pointless ever again, I assure you of that.

    We need to stop just being "hearers" and become faith in action. Become love in action. Can you imagine what our country would look like if the 83% that claimed to be Christians behaved like followers of Christ? Or even the 70%? Think about that for a moment. 7 out of 10 people you encountered acted or spoke from a heart full of love. The ripple effect that would occur, if the 3 that are cut from the equation came toe to toe with Christ every single day, being the minority- possibly wondering if possibly the way they're living isn't right. Maybe they don't have to be angry all the time. Maybe they don't have to hate. Maybe they can be kind. Can you imagine the influence for the Kingdom you would have? All for God's glory and how beautiful it is!

    Go and BE Jesus to others. Go out and love. Go out and love on others from the outpouring of Christ's love in your heart. If you're not familiar enough with God's word, don't be afraid to read it. In fact get excited about reading it, it will change you but I guarantee it will change you for the better. It has that effect on us, it's a beautiful thing. All glory and praise to God! All for His glory!

     Be blessed today friends by blessing others.

Today is your day!

       We don't often have "easy" days. You know, the days where you wake up feeling refreshed; eat a great breakfast and break into the day slowly. The day continues on with few bends and certainly no fractures. It's quiet and peaceful, the day tarries on just as planned. And you snuggle into bed peacefully at the end of the day.

     Every night I have a prayer that has been etched into my heart— Wake me if they need me. This morning I awoke to Cookiepants gagging. She's had a rough couple of days, which is a great understatement. Two nights ago, she entering into the worst gagging/choking jag I'd ever seen. She wasn't choking on anything other than what was likely reflux. This has been going on since birth. We've been witness and active participants to this for over 3 years. In truth, we've never gotten used to it, not in full.

    If ever there were a time I wished I could impress my will upon a situation, it would be now. This child has seen every specialist under the sun. She's even had a surgery that was supposed to resolve 80% of the issues surrounding her reflux. We are 4 months beyond from the surgery and some of the issues have gone away but some of the most life threatening ones are still lurking. This child has been prayed over and for by the hundreds. I believe that simple fact is one of the prevailing reasons she's still here with us today.

    What is my will for Cookiepants?
My will is that she would be maximized to the greatest degree with which she can go. My prayer for her is being whole and living a life of fullness. My prayer is that life wouldn't be so bloody painful and such a great struggle for her. That all her tears would be replaced with laughter. Her fear would be replaced with certainty. That she would be able to do and accomplish the same things that we do with ease. I can't possibly explain the ache in my heart for her. I can't paint a picture, exactly of what I see.

    I have however accepted where we are, I just can't allow the hope of something vastly different die.     What do I know?

   "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14  

   "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:6

    "People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And he took the child in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them," Mark 10:13-16

    Cookiepants was knit together by my heavenly Father in my womb. She was wonderfully made. She is seated in the heavenly realms with Christ Jesus- she is already made perfect there! She is dearly loved and blessed by Jesus. Jesus loved children more than we could ever fathom, more than we as imperfect parents, love our children.

    "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11 

    God has a plan for Cookiepants' life! She has a grand purpose here. She is here to take hold of hope and a future. We do not know what those plans are. We just know that we are an integral part of her purpose, she was gifted to us by our heavenly Father. It has been made clear to us that He saw something in us and wanted to bring something to life in us- in order that we would carry out His plan. Amidst the trials, I feel honored. At the end of the day, I can say that I am grateful. We are in a position of utter reliance upon Him because without it, we would fail miserably.

     We are exhausted but He will restore us. Our hearts our broken but He mends them. We don't always have the answers but He knows. He is the answer. I will not give up hope because we have Him. I will not give up because He is my strength. I don't feel alone, though much of the time we are, He is here with us.

    The days are long and bleed one day right into the next, day or night is of no consequence to me. The things that used to entertain me no longer interest me, Jesus has become the answer to every question and the whisper in every lull. I thank you Lord for your presence. I thank you for who you are. I thank you that you're holding onto me, as I'm holding onto Cookiepants. I thank you that you're my strength and my fresh air. I thank you that you are limitless when it feels like the walls are pressing in. Lord you are all. You are holy and good, no matter what— you are never swayed.

    God has a plan for us all, though at time, we don't understand it. And it seems, the moment we think we do understand, the landscape changes. If there is anything I've learned, don't set up camp anywhere unless God has instructed you to. Don't get too comfortable, you're going to be moving on. Earth isn't our final destination, we're merely passing through. Everything is tentative and impermanent here. Be ready. Be prepared to move, to shift yet again into the person who He is molding you to be.

     "Be on the alert. Stand firm in the faith. Be men of courage. Be strong." 1 Corinthians 16:13

      "Watch out! Don't let your hearts be dulled by carousing and drunkenness, and by the worries of this life. Don't let that day catch you unaware. like a trap. For that day will come upon everyone living on earth. Keep alert at all times. And pray that you might be strong enough to escape these coming horrors and stand before the Son of Man." Luke 21:34-36

    Not only in our circumstance but in any and all, we must be alert and on the ready to flow into the next position we are called to. I never imagined being where I am today, with the set of circumstances I behold but I am here; I am ready, I am willing. THIS is my life. Not tomorrow or next week. It is right NOW. It may not be what I envisioned but it is the path the loving heavenly Father has me walking along. And I will praise Him in these trials. I will praise Him on the days we have victory. I will praise Him when my heart aches and I will praise Him when my heart is brimming with love and adoration. I must not stop. I must not quit. I must not be deterred. I must not be hindered. I will continue to fix my eyes on the Lord because— He is all. He is the great I am. He knows it all and sees it all and there is something great within my spirit that says to me- "I'm following that Man, He knows what He's doing!" Because the truth is folks, not a one of us knows what we're doing unless God has gifted us with the ability to do any one thing or another. All praise and glory to the Father for that too! Oh He is so good, isn't He?

    Be blessed today friends, be a blessing to others.

    "Today is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 

When your heart breaks

     I used to think I was a nice person when I was younger... I was nice to the people I knew, I would give them the shirt off my back if they needed it. Paying for lunch was my pleasure. I wasn't afraid to smile at strangers. I'd watch the news and hear stories but would carry on with my life. I figured as long as it wasn't near me or wasn't anyone I knew, it was almost as though it wasn't real. It was on TV, it didn't feel real. I avoided thinking about the pain, I didn't want to. Who wants to feel pain? But the truth was, my heart was stone. Until I met Jesus my heart was made out of stone. He is the only one who can give us a new heart, one that is soft and kind. No matter how good we think we are, we have no shot at anything perceived as goodness unless Jesus is our savior. And even then, the goodness that does come from us is in fact His goodness radiating from us.

     "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

    My heart broke in an irreparable way. Sure, I don't walk around with my head hung low, sobbing every day anymore. God soothed and mended my broken heart but the crack that occurred 3 years ago is still there. It doesn't hurt the way it used to. Now, I feel, mostly love pours forth from it. It wouldn't have been possible without God, this I assure you.
   
         "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 146:3

     I absolutely counted on that scripture to become a reality in my life and eventually, after I stopped trying to force myself to live again, that scripture became a reality to me. It wasn't just some quaint fragment that someone once shared with me. It was something I read and was written on the tablet of my heart. I prayed and poured over it. I begged that it would become real to me because I didn't want to be lost in the darkness anymore. And once I began to reemerge again, I felt the Spirit tell me that the crack in my heart that I suffered would remain because that was where His light would shine through. I had two choices; be bitter or let His light shine through- through my deepest pain. Here I am. I'm not bitter. I don't "feel" broken. My heart swells with His love and my own wonderment. He is my strength. He is my peace. He is my rock and my salvation.

     I often look back across this journey with Cookiepants and dote upon the work of God in our lives. The utter lengths we've been taken to and the lessons we've learned from them and the growth that we've yielded. But none of this would have been made possible had our hearts not been stripped bare of all the "worldly overgrowth." Whether it's the correct answer or not, I've come to the determination that this was necessary. God is still sovereign. He is still on the throne. He will birth good from this, He already has.

     I look into Cookiepants' eyes and wonder what she sees? Does she see her mom? Or am I just some nice lady that kisses her and tells her she's beautiful? Does she know that I love her? Does she know she's safe here with us and that we'll care for her even unto our last breath? Will she stay here for a while longer? These are some hard questions that pass through my mind, often. I try not to ask them or even entertain them in my mind because they're far more painful than anything any parent truly wants to think about. They often cause me to cry, from deep within the crack in my heart- the one that never fully healed but yet, is mended. God is there. God is here. I've often prayed that when Cookiepants is quietly giggling to herself, the angels are telling her about her life here, in a way that she understands. I pray that they tell her how much we love her and that I feel honored to be her mom. Oh when those bright blue-green eyes look up at me, I feel nothing but love. A love like no other I've ever felt...

    So you see, the break is still there. God has filled it in and continues to, in a way only He can. I'm happy to let Him, He will do a far better job than I ever could. One last bit of encouragement—

    "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." James 4:8

    He will. I assure you of this one thing. Earnestly seek Him in your brokenness and He will be there.

    We live in a fallen world, where fallen things happen. But God is good, all the time. There is nothing about Him that isn't good. We often don't understand the things that happen in the world, I certainly don't. I don't love this world, I love many people who are passing through here... But there is a place where things are all made right. I yearn for it. I long for it. There is an "alarm" that often goes off within me, reminding me of how wrong the world is... I am grateful this isn't my home. But Jesus is making a place for me and for anyone else who trusts in Him. I will be elated when-
     
      "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

    One day dear friends... One day.
    Be a blessing to someone today, they need it.

When the hand of judgement comes against you...

     I am not speaking in terms of God's judgement here today, I am speaking of your fellow man or woman. One of the easiest things to do is to sit back and watch your fellow man and commentate and judge their every move. We have a natural bent toward doing so. We make assessments everyday. We evaluate. We perceive. And we judge. We assume, too.

    Judging is harmful, not only to the other person but also to us. Judging lumps the other person into a category without a collection of all the facts. Judging others also puts us in great danger of future judgement from God and from others.

    "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the same measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:2

     I don't want that coming back at me, if I judged someone harshly- not knowing every scrap of the their lives in order to make an assessment.

     "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

     Matthew 7:3 has been one of my favorite scriptures regarding judgement of others, it has been my go-to reminder that none of us are perfect.

     "Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgement on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you— who are you to judge your neighbor?" James 4:11-12

     I think the last scripture just sealed the deal on this one... We have no right. We have no right to make up excuses as to why we think we know better about something or someone. We were not given their life. We were not given their children. We do not have their job. We do not have their spouse. We did not acquire their life experiences.

    Go on then and continue judging, exalting your own authority and knowledge over God. Because I know this is a weak spot for me as a human, I talk to the Holy Spirit about it daily. I ask for the help not to pass judgement on others. It is a conscious effort on my part to receive help in this area. We all need this help. I am grateful for the help, without it, I could be a gossiping, judgement filled person. I wouldn't want to be around someone like that and I certainly wouldn't want to be that "me" come judgement day.

    Being a special needs Mom and having extraordinary responsibilities, I am called to consult God on seemingly ordinary issues. I feel I must in order to make the best possible decisions regarding Cookiepants. I don't follow ordinary medical guidelines. I don't follow ordinary advice. We don't have an ordinary child but an extraordinary one. We don't "do" typical; normal, ordinary, orthodox, status quo, general recommendations. All that got thrown out the window. It hasn't been what is best.

     Because of what we are doing, we have been commended by Cookiepants' doctor's for development and lack of dependence on medications. She has thrived given the environment we have created for her and taking into account the precautions we have followed. God gave us this child because HE KNEW we would be the parents she needed. He knew we would be a couple of boxers in the ring for her. He knew we would fight. He knew we would be hard in the places we need to be and be soft when that was needed too. He knew we would know what was serious and what wasn't. He knew we would take the utmost of care of and for her. We made an agreement the day we brought her home, we agreed that we would fight, knowing that God had the ultimate say. We have had to have utter dependence on God with this child. There has been no other way about it.

    God has fought for us too. He has fought against the nay-sayers. He has fought against those who judge us for doing what we do. He has fought against the enemy in order to give us a safe and spacious home for our family. God has fought because we've sought Him in our circumstances. Our decisions haven't been haphazard or just because we want to be a couple of jerks. There has been a reason for every determination we've come to. It has been from a place of love. It has come from a place of wisdom.

    I have no doubt that we will continue to be came against, but I am confident our God will be in our corner. Everyday is a continual act of surrender to His will and His power in our lives. Moment by moment we give over to Him the things and people in our lives that needs attention. We were confidently given this life; our personalities, our experiences, our children, our jobs by an Almighty God. Therefore the only judgement and scrutiny we will stand under is His. He is worthy. He is praiseworthy. He is mighty. He is amazing! He is all powerful.

    Take heart dear friends when you come under the judgement of others, when God has ordained something in your life, have no fear of the judgement of man. Let it not dictate what you do or how you respond. Being in right standing with God is the only thing that matters.

    Be blessed.

Waking up

     "All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:8-10

    "Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding." Proverbs 15:32

     "They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart." Ephesians 4:18

     "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." James 1:5

     "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world." 1 John 4:1

     "I have given then your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." John 17:14-16 


      We are in a time and have been for some time now, that needs your careful and full attention. You are no longer in a comfortable and familiar place. The things that happen around you are no longer acceptable, nor have they been for quite some time now. Every single thought that streams through your mind each day, not everyone of them is your own. If ever there were a time that I needed you to read this until the end, I implore you to do so now. This is important. This is life saving. This is soul saving. You know you have a soul, right? Something so highly coveted by an enemy that wants nothing more than complete and utter destruction of your soul. He will stop at nothing in order for that to happen. But we have weapons; wisdom, the Word and Jesus. All these in combination with one another will keep us from the snares of the enemy that searches endlessly for ways to trap us into his schemes.

    In this world today there is more information available to us than there ever has been. It's remarkable really. I can pop on the internet in a moments notice and find out just about anything I want in a flash. Whether it's song lyrics; what actor was in that one film, when the Eiffel tower was built or what ingredients are needed to make a cake from scratch. It's all there. Everything I could possibly want. It's great but we have a few problems with it.

    There is a lot of information but not enough wisdom. Wisdom comes from only one place, God. It's been a slow process really. One that was designed not to cause alarm and it was successful. Once upon a time when all the televisions were aglow in each home and long before Wi-Fi, Maybe even before the advent of radios, I'm not sure... But people used to read their Bible in order to gain wisdom. Through prayer more wisdom was gained and throughout the daily life those things learned in the Bible and from God we applied and perfected. You lived in a town where you knew the man up the road was great at fixing shoes and the woman down the street baked the best pies. And your husband, well, he was the local doctor. No one had degrees, they just knew how to do what they did- and you know what, they were good at it. God gave them the wisdom to do these things, the gift of doing these things.

    You see, we live in a time now where there is so much information out there but no wisdom. We have adopted the idea also to have institutions that dole out a degree- stating that so in so know how to do such and such and should handily fit into the community serving out their deemed diploma. Head knowledge may enable you to do so but it is wisdom that overrides head knowledge, especially in the face of something that obviously contradicts the head knowledge. We have puffed ourselves up so big that we've made up in our hearts and in our minds that we just don't need God anymore. We've begun to worship ourselves and our ability to retain and recite information. Information- that's all it is. Especially when it contradicts common sense and evidences in the contrary. We are essentially playing God with our lives and the lives of others because we continue to assert our own way.

    Do you see how the enemy has snuck in? His plan to ruin us all and continues to perpetuate because we keep caving in. We call it empowerment but we're not empowered to have "our own way" because it's the enemies way, he's convinced you it's your idea or your plan. Not every thought you have is your own. Do you not see that the enemy whispers in your ear? He has a plan for your life just as well as God does. The enemies plan is destruction. God's plan is to prosper you. Which path will you choose. If you don't believe me when I say this, I pray this message stay somewhere in the back of your mind and comes around back to the forefront of your mind before it's too late.

    World hunger is a most disturbing topic. 21,000 people die a day from hunger. They starved to death. Can you imagine that? They were so deprived for so long that they actually died. "Corn is the primary U.S. feed grain accounting for more than 95% of total feed grain production and use. More than 90 million acres of land are planted to corn, with the majority of the crop grown in the Heartland region. Most of the crop is used as the main energy ingredient in livestock feed." Google search results. 
    World hunger would literally end, yes, end, if there was no longer a desire to eat and consume animal products. Think about that for a bit.

    Our food that we have modified, whether you believe it or not, is killing us. We have altered the structure of plants and their yields. Introducing "non-food" sources to them, making part of them "not food." Our bodies then, don't know how to break down something that isn't food. Not being able to pass it though the body, the body them stores it in the soft tissues. Later, causing various odd and foreign problems and diseases. Do you ever wonder why cancer is on the rise? Or why all these new diseases are coming about? Or why there is a new prescription drug for everything imaginable under the sun? 128,000 people die each year from prescription medications and that number is on the rise, heart disease; 614,348. Cancer; 591,699. We're doing something wrong here friends, something has gone terribly wrong. If we have more "information" than ever, shouldn't we be getting better?

    If we did what we were supposed to do in the first place, we wouldn't have to go this route. We wouldn't have to be pushed to the end of ourselves and our health and our sanity before an alarm goes off.

    There is an almighty God that has an answer for everything under the sun. And He has a Son who died for you. God knows everything! Literally everything. He created everything- He once called everything "good." What we have here now, is not good. It's not even close.

    So all of us with our degree's; head knowledge, experience, opinions and bloated views of ourselves- we need to just stop. Stop what you are doing. Silence what you are thinking. Put your degree aside and consider what is really going on around you! Are you really so certain of what you've learned that you can't manage to humble yourself and consider the possibility that it's a lie and it's meant to perpetuate a machine that you are only a mere cog within? Yes, a cog. A cog in a machine that is far more wicked that you can even begin to imagine! If it doesn't bring healing; wholeness, health, prosperity, love and the grace and beauty of God- that machine you are taking part in is evil. Where ever you spend your money, you are casting a vote. Where ever you go, you are supporting a business what supports...? What do they support?

    There is an all out assault launched against us human. We have to start peering behind the veil and humble ourselves enough to say- "I don't know it all but I know the One who does!" Do you know how many belief systems have come and gone? How many sciences books have been retired due to being proved false?  Feelings change, nothing should be based on feelings. Just think about diets for a moment- how many have there been that were sworn to be the one that would work? They all took your money and went laughing all the way to the bank. We've been given over to traps and schemes. There is only one way to navigate them, God. That is all, just God. There is no magic pill here to dash everything away. It's going to be work but it will be a joyous work. There will be a peace in your heart like no other.

    We must humble ourselves acknowledging that what we see around us isn't right and that we can no longer participate in it. Our very soul hangs in the balance. God has the answers. His Son died to give us life. Ask God for wisdom and He will give freely of it to you.

    I urge you friends to just think about what you're doing... Seek God's wisdom. We need to rise up and fight to put an end to the foolishness and return to a time where everything is simpler. Life has been made far more complicated, unto the point where it is literally out of control. If you can't see that it's out of control, take a look around you. My heart aches as I type these words, we can't continue on this way. Open up the Bible and read God's word, answers are within it's pages. And God is eager to hear from you and to be included in your life. He really does love you, far more than anyone of us could possibly understand.

    Much love and blessings dear friends.

Super-Mom!!!

     I wouldn't dare name myself super-mom, on a "I really mean it" kind of level but some days, super-mom is what the day requires. I was a mom before Cookiepants came into the world but I was a mom of a typical child. One who met developmental milestones at a typical time. One who was able to eat without struggle. One who responded typically with smiles and began to speak. But it wasn't until 3 years ago that I came to grips with what it meant to become an above and beyond mom, almost like a super-mom.

    They say over the span of the first 2 years of a child's life, a parents lose 6 months worth of sleep. Yeah, you read that right, 6 months. I am convinced, it was more with Cookiepants, in fact I know it was more. For the first several month of her life, my husband and I slept in shifts. We were often awoken by an alarm or a raspy terrified cry. It was difficult to reach a place mentally to shut it down and sleep for the night. I woke up every morning and grabbed the largest can of caffeine I could find in the house just so I could begin to think about functioning.

    Any iota of selfishness has been dashed away... If it rears it's ugly head, something that happens throughout the day with expose it and slaughter it. I used to be a selfish person, who wasn't when it was just them and lived alone etc. It was hard not to be selfish. I didn't share my space with anyone. I had a schedule that wasn't rigorous, a schedule I enjoyed. I lavished myself in sleep whenever I wanted and I ate whatever the heck I wanted. I saw no problem with my selfishness, in fact, I embraced it.

    Selfishness can't be found here. Here you are poured out until you have nothing more to give and then you're asked for more. It's become easier though, I must admit. We're not walking zombies anymore. I've actually been able to eat more hot meals in the last few months that I probably did in the first year or so of Cookiepants' life. And we're working on staying on a good sleep schedule. We're challenged on it from time to time but we fight to get it back.

    Because we have one extraordinary child in the house, we're called to be extraordinary parents and people. Which often means- different. We're different. We're not typical people, at least not anymore, whereas we may have been before. But something changed in a deep and immovable way, deep within us. We can't panic in the face of medical emergencies. Worry as we've discovered causes us to lose even more of the sleep that we're missing out on. We have to be flexible. We can't carve out precise schedules anymore. And arrival times have turned into a "suggested arrival time." We can't make solid plans or it's rather difficult to, at least. -Especially during the long-lasting winter around here. We have to arrive anywhere prepared or know where to buy specific things where we're going. We have to be open-minded. Did I mention a wealth of patience? We have to continually choose patience because if we were people with short fuses, we wouldn't survive a day in this house.

   It isn't madness really, it's just different. It's a different way to view life, it's a different way to approach the day, each day. Caring for a medically sensitive child is so different that I almost felt ill-equipped to care for our son when he was born after Cookiepants. But much like riding a bike, I knew what to do.

    I've discovered through this journey that seeking happiness isn't the aim here, it's developing holiness. Becoming more Christ-like. And maybe this was the thing that needed to happen to me in order for me to become more Christ-like. I have peace now, in knowing this was carefully considered for my life, as a person and as a mother. This wasn't some random occurrence. It was determined. I can see, with my limited human eyes the wealth of benefits that I've reaped from this experience and the effect it's had on me. The positives far outweigh the negatives. Even with all the extra "work" and planning. I wouldn't change this. It wasn't a matter of what I gave up to have this life but what I've gained.

    I've gained an amazing perspective on life itself. How fragile it is and how beautiful it is. How fleeting it is. Death still is, as it has always been, strange to me. I live with someone who by most medical standards, shouldn't be here. She is a miracle. I feel especially blessed to have a tiny miracle living under the same roof as me. This life has shaken me out of my need to plan everything single detail. Cookiepants took care of that. No two days are the same, nor will they ever be. It has trained me to trust in the Lord each moment of the day for everything I need so I can care for/do whatever I need to do that day. I've learned to pray and praise often. There is no such thing as praying or praising too often. In fact, there's always room for improvement here.

    Most of all, I've learned to lean heavily on God each day. I don't have a view of what the day will be ahead. I truly don't. I have a picture in my mind how a typical day looks or how it will go. Picture if you will, driving down a road with dense fog. You have your headlights on, you can see possibly 2 feet in front of your car and that is all. You keep driving because you need to get to your destination. I keep going each day because I have to. God has a view of the entire road. God has a view of your entire life. So you keep driving and nearly blindly trusting even though you can't see whats ahead. God has me on this road for a reason, He can see what I cannot. I will trust Him through the fog. I will trust that He will supply my every need. He will continue to equip me to do the things I have to do.

     Any bit of super-mom that I am, I owe all the praise and glory to my Heavenly Father. A God who has carefully equipped me to be the woman and mother than I am. Everyday I learn something new, this is a process that has a set time, a time which I do not know the end. I will keep trusting in Him who does know.

    When you see a super-mom, pray for her... She's walking in a pair of shoes no one can understand unless you've worn those shoes. This road compares to no other, make no assumptions nor judgments. We're doing the best we can.

 Be blessed friends!

   

Time is the most costly of all

     Giving birth to Cookiepants gave birth to a lot of hidden truth in life that I never saw before. It has been an eye opening experience in many ways. I use her birth as a mile marker because so many things changed shortly there after. It was as though we were set aside into a different category of human being. We had distinctly been set apart, there was no mistaking it.

    Unfortunately one of the side effects was the shining of light onto the darker sides of humanity, the side with all the smoke and mirrors and falsehoods. The side that masquerades as kindness and care and an extended hand. But when you actually reach out for that hand, it isn't there and you tumble to the ground, flat on your face.

    Now don't get me wrong, we have seen the kinder, more real and loving side of humanity. It has been captivating, a pure God send to us- along with the people who are on that side. Those who really have our best on their hearts and in their minds. The ones who have said, "I will be there for you," and actually showed up. They know who they are and to them we are eternally grateful.

    Friends are there for each other and the real, get down and dirty ones are there no matter the hour. I used to leave the ringer on my phone on all night in case anyone needed a ride home from the pub late at night. Most of my friends knew they could call me if they needed to. I wasn't just saying it to be nice, I meant it. Life isn't always clean and pretty- you know, that kind of life we all post up all over social media. Then again, we don't want to air our dirty laundry all over the place either. All that mess is reserved for those- get your hands dirty friends.

    But what about those friends that say they'll sift through the mess with you but never show up? Oh dear reader... There have been so many. I used to feel bitter about it. Because I really believed, I truly did. After all we had been through, I wanted to believe that there was still a bright side to humanity and that it was larger than the dark side. From my view— it remains smaller. Now if I were to include God in this estimation, well, that would greatly change that ratio. But I am speaking in terms of mere humans. Humans, who at the time, are delighted to shoulder the load and help. Who at the time, maybe needed a lift themselves, and as it is known, that when you're in need yourself, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to serve others. Maybe it made them feel better to utter their offer for help, not having thought it through fully. Not realizing that the help in question would actually be called upon. I can't be certain, I am unable to judge nor examine the hearts of others. But there are of course a few scriptures that are coming to mind as I'm ticking away at my keyboard.

    "Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give." Proverbs 25:14 ESV

     "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

     "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13

    "or if anyone thoughtlessly takes an oath to do anything, whether good or evil (in any matter one might carelessly swear about) even though they are unaware of it, but then they learn of it and realize their guilt—" Leviticus 5:4

  Colossians 3:13 covers my part in making good with the broken promises and all the false niceties. "If any of you has grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." — Yes, I must. I cannot let the shortcomings and failures of others hinder my walk in life or with the Lord. I found scripture regarding making promises rashly to the Lord but I didn't feel that it applied here. Promises made before the Lord but possibly not directly to Him, as I stated before, I cannot judge man nor his or her heart.

    What has all of this taught me? Honestly... Trust is earned and developed by showing up when you say you will. Don't make promises you can't keep. Even though these realizations hurt at the time they are in fact realized, I still must be committed to searching out the good in others and believing in the good within them. I must forgive, just as the Lord has forgiven me. And lastly, I'm under to obligation to trust these people. I can pray. I can wish them the best. I will certainly forgive. But I haven't found a place yet where Jesus said that we have to continually put ourselves up to be hurt over and over again. Eventually it becomes abuse, especially if it's blatant.

     These experiences have taught me not to make rash promises because I've been the recipient of them. These experiences have taught me not to say- I'll be there, when It's still unlikely that I wouldn't be able to make it. This road I've been walking along has taught me how to say no. It isn't easy saying no but if I can't live up to what I said yes to, what does that say of my trustworthyness and integrity? What does that say about the church as a people? What does that say about Jesus? I don't want others to look at me as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and see someone who doesn't keep their promises. Thus assuming that Jesus won't be there either- which is false! Jesus never ever leaves your side. I do not for a moment want to misrepresent Him. That would cause me a great deal of anguish in my heart that can be completely avoided- by not pretending to be someone I'm not or— not over committing myself. Simply saying no isn't unkind, it's sometimes what we have to do because we can't commit to yes.

    Forgive those who hurt you. You can't stay angry or bitter. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts you. And when it comes to needing help, don't return to the ones who have fallen desperately short of their initial yes, ask God to guide you to some real help. Also, give grace to those who fell short. They are only human after all. God gives us more than enough grace everyday because we fall desperately short of His glory. Forgiveness and grace friends... two of the hardest things to dole out to others but we must live in a place of constant grace giving and issuing forgiveness. After all, our Father in heaven has forgiven us far more than we could ever comprehend.

    Be blessed today friends.