I wouldn't dare name myself super-mom, on a "I really mean it" kind of level but some days, super-mom is what the day requires. I was a mom before Cookiepants came into the world but I was a mom of a typical child. One who met developmental milestones at a typical time. One who was able to eat without struggle. One who responded typically with smiles and began to speak. But it wasn't until 3 years ago that I came to grips with what it meant to become an above and beyond mom, almost like a super-mom.
They say over the span of the first 2 years of a child's life, a parents lose 6 months worth of sleep. Yeah, you read that right, 6 months. I am convinced, it was more with Cookiepants, in fact I know it was more. For the first several month of her life, my husband and I slept in shifts. We were often awoken by an alarm or a raspy terrified cry. It was difficult to reach a place mentally to shut it down and sleep for the night. I woke up every morning and grabbed the largest can of caffeine I could find in the house just so I could begin to think about functioning.
Any iota of selfishness has been dashed away... If it rears it's ugly head, something that happens throughout the day with expose it and slaughter it. I used to be a selfish person, who wasn't when it was just them and lived alone etc. It was hard not to be selfish. I didn't share my space with anyone. I had a schedule that wasn't rigorous, a schedule I enjoyed. I lavished myself in sleep whenever I wanted and I ate whatever the heck I wanted. I saw no problem with my selfishness, in fact, I embraced it.
Selfishness can't be found here. Here you are poured out until you have nothing more to give and then you're asked for more. It's become easier though, I must admit. We're not walking zombies anymore. I've actually been able to eat more hot meals in the last few months that I probably did in the first year or so of Cookiepants' life. And we're working on staying on a good sleep schedule. We're challenged on it from time to time but we fight to get it back.
Because we have one extraordinary child in the house, we're called to be extraordinary parents and people. Which often means- different. We're different. We're not typical people, at least not anymore, whereas we may have been before. But something changed in a deep and immovable way, deep within us. We can't panic in the face of medical emergencies. Worry as we've discovered causes us to lose even more of the sleep that we're missing out on. We have to be flexible. We can't carve out precise schedules anymore. And arrival times have turned into a "suggested arrival time." We can't make solid plans or it's rather difficult to, at least. -Especially during the long-lasting winter around here. We have to arrive anywhere prepared or know where to buy specific things where we're going. We have to be open-minded. Did I mention a wealth of patience? We have to continually choose patience because if we were people with short fuses, we wouldn't survive a day in this house.
It isn't madness really, it's just different. It's a different way to view life, it's a different way to approach the day, each day. Caring for a medically sensitive child is so different that I almost felt ill-equipped to care for our son when he was born after Cookiepants. But much like riding a bike, I knew what to do.
I've discovered through this journey that seeking happiness isn't the aim here, it's developing holiness. Becoming more Christ-like. And maybe this was the thing that needed to happen to me in order for me to become more Christ-like. I have peace now, in knowing this was carefully considered for my life, as a person and as a mother. This wasn't some random occurrence. It was determined. I can see, with my limited human eyes the wealth of benefits that I've reaped from this experience and the effect it's had on me. The positives far outweigh the negatives. Even with all the extra "work" and planning. I wouldn't change this. It wasn't a matter of what I gave up to have this life but what I've gained.
I've gained an amazing perspective on life itself. How fragile it is and how beautiful it is. How fleeting it is. Death still is, as it has always been, strange to me. I live with someone who by most medical standards, shouldn't be here. She is a miracle. I feel especially blessed to have a tiny miracle living under the same roof as me. This life has shaken me out of my need to plan everything single detail. Cookiepants took care of that. No two days are the same, nor will they ever be. It has trained me to trust in the Lord each moment of the day for everything I need so I can care for/do whatever I need to do that day. I've learned to pray and praise often. There is no such thing as praying or praising too often. In fact, there's always room for improvement here.
Most of all, I've learned to lean heavily on God each day. I don't have a view of what the day will be ahead. I truly don't. I have a picture in my mind how a typical day looks or how it will go. Picture if you will, driving down a road with dense fog. You have your headlights on, you can see possibly 2 feet in front of your car and that is all. You keep driving because you need to get to your destination. I keep going each day because I have to. God has a view of the entire road. God has a view of your entire life. So you keep driving and nearly blindly trusting even though you can't see whats ahead. God has me on this road for a reason, He can see what I cannot. I will trust Him through the fog. I will trust that He will supply my every need. He will continue to equip me to do the things I have to do.
Any bit of super-mom that I am, I owe all the praise and glory to my Heavenly Father. A God who has carefully equipped me to be the woman and mother than I am. Everyday I learn something new, this is a process that has a set time, a time which I do not know the end. I will keep trusting in Him who does know.
When you see a super-mom, pray for her... She's walking in a pair of shoes no one can understand unless you've worn those shoes. This road compares to no other, make no assumptions nor judgments. We're doing the best we can.
Be blessed friends!
Showing posts with label adventures.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adventures.. Show all posts
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Friday, March 24, 2017
If these walls could talk!
I thought for sure this post was going to happen yesterday but yesterday had other plans. I woke up thinking about what to write about but nothing stood out at me. The days where I wake up with something on my mind and on my heart to write about tend to be the most successful.
First of all, I just want to thank my faithful readers, it appears that my readership has grown here on this blog. So, I'm excited and grateful for that! So thank you dear reader friends, sign up for email alerts every time I post on here. I try my best not to disappoint and to just keep it real here. I figure so much of the world is a mirage, I feel compelled to speak truth and life. With that being said... Onto today's post.
Here it is, the day is here— moving day! Am I scared? No. Nervous? A little... I just want everything to go quickly and smoothly. My husband is in charge of orchestrating the moving portion of it, so I have full confidence in him! Originally they forecast rain for today but they've changed it several times. I think they've decided it will rain but not until later today. *sigh* This is Wisconsin after all folks and the weather is never predictable.
I've been feeling a bit emotional the last few days as I gaze around each room, now packed (as neatly as possible) in boxes. What a wild and crazy almost 5 years here. So much life was lived here- in a relatively short time. There were so many life lessons I learned while living here, mostly hard ones or ones that came at a great cost. There were so many tears here, there was a lot of praying done here, a lot of crying out. But there was also a lot of planning and praising and laughter. There is no real way to condense everything I learned down into one blog post, it would probably be a short novel filled with bullet points. So, I will do my best to pass along the big ones, the real head scratchers.
Life isn't about stuff or what you accomplish, it's more about who is in your life and how you treat them. This was a difficult and frustrating lesson in some ways. There is nothing like tragedy to separate the real deal from the fakes. The people who are in remain while the "only when the sun is shining" type of people disappear. Wow! This was a real eye opener. This was a hard lesson. But you take a deep breath in, remind yourself that God is sovereign- which means He's sovereign in your relationships too.
Life isn't about you, it's more about them. Whoever them is, whether it's your spouse, your children or anyone else God has put in your care. It's about them, not you. Sure, take care of yourself too but you're not number one.
Stop trying to control everything it is a fruitless endeavor. Really, it is. You will be frustrated and far more exhausted that you would be if you just handed it over to God! Just surrender. It will be the wisest decision you've ever made. But what if things don't turn out the way I wanted them to? Or what if it's not what I want. What if I'm not happy? -------Do you hear all the I's in there? Oh yeah, it's not about ME. Forget the "I" and let go and let God! Your life is not your own anymore and God has a plan for your life, find out how you can follow it. Relinquish control, there is freedom to be found there.
Worrying is stupid. No, really it is. It's so pointless. Do you have any idea how many nights I've been kept awake most of the night with worry? Maybe you've suffered the same self inflicted torture. It was dumb wasn't it? Did it turn out to be the disaster you were picturing in your head? Probably not. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's so stupid. Just stop. Once again, let it go. God is already ahead of you anyway. Let Him handle it.
Sanctification isn't church attendance. If you go to church and help at the local food shelter and donate to this or that charity- don't be counting yourself as the biggest saint there ever was. And certainly don't be looking at others who don't do those things as sinners. God looks at the heart of a person. We can't go ahead and get caught up in a whole mess of "works" of the flesh and think, I got to church or help this or that person, I'm good... No, we must examine ourselves— daily! Examine ourselves daily before God. Father, please reveal to me anything within me that displeases you or isn't of you. It's a hearty prayer but a good one.
Life is less about doing and more about being. Oh boy this one really spun my head around once I really sunk my teeth into it and got it. It's life's finest art, it truly is. I will preface this short blurb by saying I wrote an entire book on this subject matter because this has been, for me, the most freeing experience I have ever crossed paths with. The book is called "Human, Being." It has been changing the lives of the people who have been reading it and I feel so honored God set me on the path to such a touching and meaningful writing project. Please check it out, I'll leave the web address at the end of this blog. Okay, being. Yes, just being. Not doing- everything- all the time. That's what we as humans have been conditioned to do, is do everything. We twist; contort, control, bend until we break— literally. Stop! Stop the madness, stop trying to do everything all at once! Slow down. Enjoy life. Take it all in. This is the finest experience of life, just being. Being who God created us to be! Oh this one is so good, so freeing, so life giving.
Throw away the picture you have in your head because it will become your enemy. That picture you have in your head of how things should be will mock you and cause you more grief than you could ever connect the dots enough to understand. I'm not calling you stupid, what I'm saying is that the small picture we have for our lives has much deeper roots than we realize and the ripple effect is far more reaching than we could ever imagine! I have no idea how many lives I reach and touch through my writing. I don't know until a reader reaches out to me and tells me and even then I still don't know about the many others. The picture you've set in your mind of what life should look like will be your downfall. First of all, God has a grand plan for all of our lives and it's far bigger and more extravagant than we can envision. Secondly, by setting a picture in our minds of precise specifications you are setting limits for yourself when we worship a limitless God. God isn't a genie so I don't think it would be wise to treat Him as such but He is limitless. He hears your prayers dear friend, ask. And my third point here is; by setting preconceived pictures in our mind, when things fall desperately short of those pictures we are infinitely disappointed. Now, if you're willing to go along with God's plan- which you cannot see, you have no expectation other than the fact that God will lead you.
Different isn't bad. Different is just different. When Cookiepants was born she wasn't what we expected, she came out needing all types of help, serious medical help. She was born different than us. This was difficult to accept, we had no indication while I was pregnant that anything was wrong with her. It didn't matter to us that she wasn't what we expected, we loved her no less and actually, have come to love and cherish her even more than we ever could have imagined. I lead a different kind of life, ranging from my life as a wife and mother and even down to my diet. I handle things differently than most people do. When some panic and worry, I'll pray. When out to eat for a nice meal, some order steak- I'll order just vegetables. I'm quite firm in what I believe, it's taken me my entire life to come to these conclusions and decisions and I've felt as though I've been lead here by the Holy Spirit. It's where I am, this is my life. I've learned not to judge others just because they're different, it's a constant and conscious practice. Every time I encounter someone new or someone I know, conversations are exchanged, opinions are exchanged- there is no room for judgement. From me or from them. It's not my place to judge and their life isn't mine, we haven't walked the same path or come to the same conclusions. One of the greatest mistakes you can make is assume you're being judged by someone with firm beliefs. Just because they believe something in an unshakeable way doesn't mean that they're looking at you, believing you're wrong because you're not living the way they are. Make sense? I'm vegan. When I walk into a restaurant and see meat on everyone's plate I don't think to myself- "look at all these meat eaters, what a bunch of disgusting low life jerks, eating their meat happily." (Really, I don't) What I think about is how I used to eat meat and what it was that I was brought to in my life to make the decision to go vegan. I will never win over a person in the case of veganism by telling them how "wrong" they are and shoving my beliefs and facts down their throat. How many souls have been won over in the case of Christianity like that? By living in this way you're playing the role of judge. So both parties are guilty of passing judgement. Let others live their lives and be different and love them. Sure, share truth with them, whether it's health related, the Gospel or whatever it is, share truth but don't judge and don't try and force your hand. We're called to plant seeds in the lives of others, God takes care of growing those seeds.
Oh I knew I was going to run into this, it's too hard to pick just a few things to talk about here. If these walls could talk I would need to learn how to type faster so I could take better notes. It really has been a wild and crazy last several years, I can't believe the people who are walking out of this place. Who we've become and the people God is shaping us into being. I am so blessed and feel so honored.
Just a couple last minute things because it's nearing the hour of commotion... If you feel as though you can't go any further be prepared to go just a little bit further. That's where growth happens and that's where the fruit is. And the things you think that you can't accomplish are the very things you should fight hard to accomplish through prayer and just doing it. Those will be crowning accomplishments! Those will be a part of your testimony of your life. Those will likely be points scored for the Kingdom.
Well, I think that's it for now. It's bittersweet closing up a last blog post in this home. So much was learned and accomplished here. I hope this has helped at least one person. Keep going, life is turbulent at times and at others times we're on the highest mountain peaks! Hang on, cling to Jesus. He really does know what He's doing and He never does leave. I can say that with certainty. We've endured enough to know He has never left our side and we know He is already awaiting us in our new home. It's so exciting, this new chapter we're embarking on. I have no idea what lay ahead but I know the One who does.
Much love dear friend, I hope you have an especially blessed day!
First of all, I just want to thank my faithful readers, it appears that my readership has grown here on this blog. So, I'm excited and grateful for that! So thank you dear reader friends, sign up for email alerts every time I post on here. I try my best not to disappoint and to just keep it real here. I figure so much of the world is a mirage, I feel compelled to speak truth and life. With that being said... Onto today's post.
Here it is, the day is here— moving day! Am I scared? No. Nervous? A little... I just want everything to go quickly and smoothly. My husband is in charge of orchestrating the moving portion of it, so I have full confidence in him! Originally they forecast rain for today but they've changed it several times. I think they've decided it will rain but not until later today. *sigh* This is Wisconsin after all folks and the weather is never predictable.
I've been feeling a bit emotional the last few days as I gaze around each room, now packed (as neatly as possible) in boxes. What a wild and crazy almost 5 years here. So much life was lived here- in a relatively short time. There were so many life lessons I learned while living here, mostly hard ones or ones that came at a great cost. There were so many tears here, there was a lot of praying done here, a lot of crying out. But there was also a lot of planning and praising and laughter. There is no real way to condense everything I learned down into one blog post, it would probably be a short novel filled with bullet points. So, I will do my best to pass along the big ones, the real head scratchers.
Life isn't about stuff or what you accomplish, it's more about who is in your life and how you treat them. This was a difficult and frustrating lesson in some ways. There is nothing like tragedy to separate the real deal from the fakes. The people who are in remain while the "only when the sun is shining" type of people disappear. Wow! This was a real eye opener. This was a hard lesson. But you take a deep breath in, remind yourself that God is sovereign- which means He's sovereign in your relationships too.
Life isn't about you, it's more about them. Whoever them is, whether it's your spouse, your children or anyone else God has put in your care. It's about them, not you. Sure, take care of yourself too but you're not number one.
Stop trying to control everything it is a fruitless endeavor. Really, it is. You will be frustrated and far more exhausted that you would be if you just handed it over to God! Just surrender. It will be the wisest decision you've ever made. But what if things don't turn out the way I wanted them to? Or what if it's not what I want. What if I'm not happy? -------Do you hear all the I's in there? Oh yeah, it's not about ME. Forget the "I" and let go and let God! Your life is not your own anymore and God has a plan for your life, find out how you can follow it. Relinquish control, there is freedom to be found there.
Worrying is stupid. No, really it is. It's so pointless. Do you have any idea how many nights I've been kept awake most of the night with worry? Maybe you've suffered the same self inflicted torture. It was dumb wasn't it? Did it turn out to be the disaster you were picturing in your head? Probably not. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's so stupid. Just stop. Once again, let it go. God is already ahead of you anyway. Let Him handle it.
Sanctification isn't church attendance. If you go to church and help at the local food shelter and donate to this or that charity- don't be counting yourself as the biggest saint there ever was. And certainly don't be looking at others who don't do those things as sinners. God looks at the heart of a person. We can't go ahead and get caught up in a whole mess of "works" of the flesh and think, I got to church or help this or that person, I'm good... No, we must examine ourselves— daily! Examine ourselves daily before God. Father, please reveal to me anything within me that displeases you or isn't of you. It's a hearty prayer but a good one.
Life is less about doing and more about being. Oh boy this one really spun my head around once I really sunk my teeth into it and got it. It's life's finest art, it truly is. I will preface this short blurb by saying I wrote an entire book on this subject matter because this has been, for me, the most freeing experience I have ever crossed paths with. The book is called "Human, Being." It has been changing the lives of the people who have been reading it and I feel so honored God set me on the path to such a touching and meaningful writing project. Please check it out, I'll leave the web address at the end of this blog. Okay, being. Yes, just being. Not doing- everything- all the time. That's what we as humans have been conditioned to do, is do everything. We twist; contort, control, bend until we break— literally. Stop! Stop the madness, stop trying to do everything all at once! Slow down. Enjoy life. Take it all in. This is the finest experience of life, just being. Being who God created us to be! Oh this one is so good, so freeing, so life giving.
Throw away the picture you have in your head because it will become your enemy. That picture you have in your head of how things should be will mock you and cause you more grief than you could ever connect the dots enough to understand. I'm not calling you stupid, what I'm saying is that the small picture we have for our lives has much deeper roots than we realize and the ripple effect is far more reaching than we could ever imagine! I have no idea how many lives I reach and touch through my writing. I don't know until a reader reaches out to me and tells me and even then I still don't know about the many others. The picture you've set in your mind of what life should look like will be your downfall. First of all, God has a grand plan for all of our lives and it's far bigger and more extravagant than we can envision. Secondly, by setting a picture in our minds of precise specifications you are setting limits for yourself when we worship a limitless God. God isn't a genie so I don't think it would be wise to treat Him as such but He is limitless. He hears your prayers dear friend, ask. And my third point here is; by setting preconceived pictures in our mind, when things fall desperately short of those pictures we are infinitely disappointed. Now, if you're willing to go along with God's plan- which you cannot see, you have no expectation other than the fact that God will lead you.
Different isn't bad. Different is just different. When Cookiepants was born she wasn't what we expected, she came out needing all types of help, serious medical help. She was born different than us. This was difficult to accept, we had no indication while I was pregnant that anything was wrong with her. It didn't matter to us that she wasn't what we expected, we loved her no less and actually, have come to love and cherish her even more than we ever could have imagined. I lead a different kind of life, ranging from my life as a wife and mother and even down to my diet. I handle things differently than most people do. When some panic and worry, I'll pray. When out to eat for a nice meal, some order steak- I'll order just vegetables. I'm quite firm in what I believe, it's taken me my entire life to come to these conclusions and decisions and I've felt as though I've been lead here by the Holy Spirit. It's where I am, this is my life. I've learned not to judge others just because they're different, it's a constant and conscious practice. Every time I encounter someone new or someone I know, conversations are exchanged, opinions are exchanged- there is no room for judgement. From me or from them. It's not my place to judge and their life isn't mine, we haven't walked the same path or come to the same conclusions. One of the greatest mistakes you can make is assume you're being judged by someone with firm beliefs. Just because they believe something in an unshakeable way doesn't mean that they're looking at you, believing you're wrong because you're not living the way they are. Make sense? I'm vegan. When I walk into a restaurant and see meat on everyone's plate I don't think to myself- "look at all these meat eaters, what a bunch of disgusting low life jerks, eating their meat happily." (Really, I don't) What I think about is how I used to eat meat and what it was that I was brought to in my life to make the decision to go vegan. I will never win over a person in the case of veganism by telling them how "wrong" they are and shoving my beliefs and facts down their throat. How many souls have been won over in the case of Christianity like that? By living in this way you're playing the role of judge. So both parties are guilty of passing judgement. Let others live their lives and be different and love them. Sure, share truth with them, whether it's health related, the Gospel or whatever it is, share truth but don't judge and don't try and force your hand. We're called to plant seeds in the lives of others, God takes care of growing those seeds.
Oh I knew I was going to run into this, it's too hard to pick just a few things to talk about here. If these walls could talk I would need to learn how to type faster so I could take better notes. It really has been a wild and crazy last several years, I can't believe the people who are walking out of this place. Who we've become and the people God is shaping us into being. I am so blessed and feel so honored.
Just a couple last minute things because it's nearing the hour of commotion... If you feel as though you can't go any further be prepared to go just a little bit further. That's where growth happens and that's where the fruit is. And the things you think that you can't accomplish are the very things you should fight hard to accomplish through prayer and just doing it. Those will be crowning accomplishments! Those will be a part of your testimony of your life. Those will likely be points scored for the Kingdom.
Well, I think that's it for now. It's bittersweet closing up a last blog post in this home. So much was learned and accomplished here. I hope this has helped at least one person. Keep going, life is turbulent at times and at others times we're on the highest mountain peaks! Hang on, cling to Jesus. He really does know what He's doing and He never does leave. I can say that with certainty. We've endured enough to know He has never left our side and we know He is already awaiting us in our new home. It's so exciting, this new chapter we're embarking on. I have no idea what lay ahead but I know the One who does.
Much love dear friend, I hope you have an especially blessed day!
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Moving on
The last 5 years have been a bit of a whirlwind to say the very least. January marked our 5th winter in this home, being the longest I've lived anywhere since moving out of my parents house on my 18th birthday. So for me, it was a landmark. I suppose you can say I've struggled to make a home anywhere for too long. And because God was the one that set aside this home for us in the first place, staying here this long wasn't a challenge.
I've spent the last week really digging into packing up the house for our move next week. It's been a bit emotional and definitely a reminder to take things down and dust them off every once in a while- haha! I've been walking around the house for the last couple of weeks trying to decide what can get packed up and what can stay out until the last minute. I've been setting aside things we can pass along, hopefully, to someone who needs the items. Then I began thinking about who we were when we moved in here. Our oldest would have just celebrated her 6th birthday, so that's what? Kindergarten? Wow! She's in 4th grade now. Cookiepants and her little brother weren't on the radar yet. We walked into the house as 3 people and are walking out as 5.
When we moved in here I was still young in my sobriety, though I already had some time under my belt. My husband was still working at the facility with troubled youth in his chosen social work field. And I, only had one book published- all the way back in 2008! Since being here I've established myself as a stay at home mom and author. An ever crazier fact, every book I've published, I've done so since Cookiepants was born! Imagine that. Being a special needs parent doesn't mean you have less of a life, it just means you work a bit harder for the life you want. It has been worth it!
Since we've been here I've embraced motherhood more than ever, being that I have 3 children instead of just one. I've learned that I'm able to take care of a special little person with extraordinary medical needs. I've learned more about marriage since I've been living here- that it's more about the other person than it is about you. And that next in line after God is my husband. I've learned what it truly means to feel alone, even when you're surrounded by other people. I've discovered who true friends are and that just because someone is blood related that it doesn't mean they're there for you. I've learned about the social media haze and what it can do to your life and how to break free from it. I've learned to live and let live, let go and let God- even when you're scared. I've learned the biggest risks often yield the greatest rewards, especially when they're taken in obedience to God. I've learned more so that health should be a top priority because if I'm not healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally) I can't take care of others.
Many tears have been shed here but there has been much laughter too. This is where I've grown the most. This is where I've plummeted to a place I wasn't sure I was going to crawl out of. This is where I leaned on Jesus just to get me through the day. This is where I've seen God's hand in more circumstances than I ever could have imagined. This is where I learned that God really is good. This is where I truly began to see God in everything.
I'm not sure what the road looks like ahead. I know we'll have struggles in the future because life has a way of throwing a curve ball. But because of everything I've learned while living here, I am confident that no matter what lay ahead God will be there. He already is there and it's going to be okay.
I pray for more laughter, more adventures and more fun. I pray for more teaching moments, more time with my Savior and seeing the hand of God in everything. I pray for choosing peace even when circumstances are pushing me toward chaos. I pray for thriving friendships, good times and being who God created us to be.
There will be a moment when the house is empty and I will look around and see the last 5 years pass through my mind. And though the road hasn't been easy, I will smile, look up and say: "Thank you Father for your goodness, you made this place a good home."
Have a blessed day friends!
I've spent the last week really digging into packing up the house for our move next week. It's been a bit emotional and definitely a reminder to take things down and dust them off every once in a while- haha! I've been walking around the house for the last couple of weeks trying to decide what can get packed up and what can stay out until the last minute. I've been setting aside things we can pass along, hopefully, to someone who needs the items. Then I began thinking about who we were when we moved in here. Our oldest would have just celebrated her 6th birthday, so that's what? Kindergarten? Wow! She's in 4th grade now. Cookiepants and her little brother weren't on the radar yet. We walked into the house as 3 people and are walking out as 5.
When we moved in here I was still young in my sobriety, though I already had some time under my belt. My husband was still working at the facility with troubled youth in his chosen social work field. And I, only had one book published- all the way back in 2008! Since being here I've established myself as a stay at home mom and author. An ever crazier fact, every book I've published, I've done so since Cookiepants was born! Imagine that. Being a special needs parent doesn't mean you have less of a life, it just means you work a bit harder for the life you want. It has been worth it!
Since we've been here I've embraced motherhood more than ever, being that I have 3 children instead of just one. I've learned that I'm able to take care of a special little person with extraordinary medical needs. I've learned more about marriage since I've been living here- that it's more about the other person than it is about you. And that next in line after God is my husband. I've learned what it truly means to feel alone, even when you're surrounded by other people. I've discovered who true friends are and that just because someone is blood related that it doesn't mean they're there for you. I've learned about the social media haze and what it can do to your life and how to break free from it. I've learned to live and let live, let go and let God- even when you're scared. I've learned the biggest risks often yield the greatest rewards, especially when they're taken in obedience to God. I've learned more so that health should be a top priority because if I'm not healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally) I can't take care of others.
Many tears have been shed here but there has been much laughter too. This is where I've grown the most. This is where I've plummeted to a place I wasn't sure I was going to crawl out of. This is where I leaned on Jesus just to get me through the day. This is where I've seen God's hand in more circumstances than I ever could have imagined. This is where I learned that God really is good. This is where I truly began to see God in everything.
I'm not sure what the road looks like ahead. I know we'll have struggles in the future because life has a way of throwing a curve ball. But because of everything I've learned while living here, I am confident that no matter what lay ahead God will be there. He already is there and it's going to be okay.
I pray for more laughter, more adventures and more fun. I pray for more teaching moments, more time with my Savior and seeing the hand of God in everything. I pray for choosing peace even when circumstances are pushing me toward chaos. I pray for thriving friendships, good times and being who God created us to be.
There will be a moment when the house is empty and I will look around and see the last 5 years pass through my mind. And though the road hasn't been easy, I will smile, look up and say: "Thank you Father for your goodness, you made this place a good home."
Have a blessed day friends!
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