I'm sure you've been there, maybe not a WTF moment but something like it. I know I've had a few of those moments this week... We're in a new home, getting adjusted to our new environment. We're not necessarily a new schedule, although Cookiepants decided it was time to get up and yell about life at 5 am. But there are moments where you think to yourself What the heck?
I'll begin by saying, I don't understand it either but I know that One that knows everything and somehow, that makes those moments at least a little easier. It's been a long week, a very long week and I'd like nothing more than to sleep for the next week straight. Here I am, it's only Tuesday morning. My weeks don't look like most other people's weeks, weekends don't exist for me. One week literally runs right into the next seamlessly.
Last week, all week long, I packed up our house. Friday we moved and I've been unpacking and organizing ever since. The house looks pretty good if I might say so myself, it's been worth all the hard work. Although, my husband has played the largest role in making things happen as concerns the heavy lifting.
I've prayed for sleep, good quality sleep--- just a little, maybe to make up for the lack in sleep I've had for the last 3 years. Last night it was one thing after another, sleep slowly slipping through my fingertips. It's pretty common around here, the lack of sleep. With Cookiepants, you never know when you're going to be woken up and it likely won't be in a pleasant way. This morning was no different.
When Cookiepants broke her leg, that was a WTF moment. After she had surgery and has continued to get acid reflux and frequently chokes, those are still WTF moments. We work as hard as we can to keep her happy; fed, comfortable and that her needs are beyond met. Still, there is a great amount of discontentment. When we got the news after Cookiepants was born that there was something wrong- there wasn't anything that I/we did wrong to cause this. It's infinitely frustrating when you do everything you're supposed to do and it still doesn't work out right or turn out the way it should have. What are we supposed to do?
I've seen this meme going around; "When something goes wrong in life, just yell, PLOT TWIST! and move on."
It's not quite that easy but I think that's the right idea... We can't sit here and think about what we're missing out on or what we gave up or the struggle ahead because if we do, we'll stay in a mindset of lack. We must do away with the negative thinking, immediately.
If I sat here and thought about the reality of the "fate" laid upon me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning, much less, function. Oh yeah, it's that heavy. So, I don't think about it and I give it to God. Today is the day the Lord has made and today is my only focus. I can't focus on anything else. There is nothing but today... So when you have those WTF moments- the big ones, stay present. Fight to stay present because you can't fast forward beyond this moment right now. Stay in the moment that caused you to be so bewildered. Take it in and give it over to God. That's all we can do. We must stay flexible in this life, if we're unable to, we'll never find peace or happiness.
Our enemy loves to attack us when we're already down or tired or feeling weak. It's his specialty. It's funny, I was going to touch on this subject right here, I took a minute sized break to get my daughter breakfast off the stove... A whole series of events unfolded. As I mentioned earlier, I'm severely under-slept- bring on the attacks, right? I put her oatmeal in the fridge to cool it down faster, I bumped it on something when i went to take it out, it slipped from my hands and fell on the floor shattering. Then the bottom shelf in the fridge fell out, Cookiepant's milk fell out and cracked open, leaking all over the floor too! Wow! In just a moment. I didn't get mad. I made a joke about how we talked about getting a new dish set anyhow. That was a WTF moment- really... Like seriously, in a split second, all that happened. I just have to laugh. What else am I supposed to do?
But for the bigger moments, give it over to God. Those things that hit us sideways, that take the breath right out of our lungs... Give it to God. You can't control it anyway. It's funny how everyday we fool ourselves into believing that if we do all the right things in all the right ways that everything will turn out right. It just isn't so. This is earth, not heaven. Only in heaven will everything be made right, not here on earth. That's why we yearn for it so deeply, we all know some where deep within us that things just aren't right here. Cancer. Sick babies. Starving people. Crime. Abused animals. Whatever it is that disturbs you, you know it isn't right; it isn't just, it isn't okay... We're in enemy territory, where anything unjust is capable of happening no matter what we do.
Give it to God and move forward. You'll be a different person, hopefully a better person, not a bitter one. God helps you to not become bitter. Jesus will strengthen you through the days as you work through your struggle. I can personally attest to that. And God is sovereign.
I hope this helps, in those moments and others. I know we're all going through some sort of a struggle, my struggle doesn't look the same as yours and vice versa. Life is tough but it doesn't have to be as tough as we make it up in our mind. We dwell and beat ourselves up. It's time to just let it go, feel the feelings, yell if you must but let God take it. He's in control anyhow.
I pray your day is blessed.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Friday, March 24, 2017
If these walls could talk!
I thought for sure this post was going to happen yesterday but yesterday had other plans. I woke up thinking about what to write about but nothing stood out at me. The days where I wake up with something on my mind and on my heart to write about tend to be the most successful.
First of all, I just want to thank my faithful readers, it appears that my readership has grown here on this blog. So, I'm excited and grateful for that! So thank you dear reader friends, sign up for email alerts every time I post on here. I try my best not to disappoint and to just keep it real here. I figure so much of the world is a mirage, I feel compelled to speak truth and life. With that being said... Onto today's post.
Here it is, the day is here— moving day! Am I scared? No. Nervous? A little... I just want everything to go quickly and smoothly. My husband is in charge of orchestrating the moving portion of it, so I have full confidence in him! Originally they forecast rain for today but they've changed it several times. I think they've decided it will rain but not until later today. *sigh* This is Wisconsin after all folks and the weather is never predictable.
I've been feeling a bit emotional the last few days as I gaze around each room, now packed (as neatly as possible) in boxes. What a wild and crazy almost 5 years here. So much life was lived here- in a relatively short time. There were so many life lessons I learned while living here, mostly hard ones or ones that came at a great cost. There were so many tears here, there was a lot of praying done here, a lot of crying out. But there was also a lot of planning and praising and laughter. There is no real way to condense everything I learned down into one blog post, it would probably be a short novel filled with bullet points. So, I will do my best to pass along the big ones, the real head scratchers.
Life isn't about stuff or what you accomplish, it's more about who is in your life and how you treat them. This was a difficult and frustrating lesson in some ways. There is nothing like tragedy to separate the real deal from the fakes. The people who are in remain while the "only when the sun is shining" type of people disappear. Wow! This was a real eye opener. This was a hard lesson. But you take a deep breath in, remind yourself that God is sovereign- which means He's sovereign in your relationships too.
Life isn't about you, it's more about them. Whoever them is, whether it's your spouse, your children or anyone else God has put in your care. It's about them, not you. Sure, take care of yourself too but you're not number one.
Stop trying to control everything it is a fruitless endeavor. Really, it is. You will be frustrated and far more exhausted that you would be if you just handed it over to God! Just surrender. It will be the wisest decision you've ever made. But what if things don't turn out the way I wanted them to? Or what if it's not what I want. What if I'm not happy? -------Do you hear all the I's in there? Oh yeah, it's not about ME. Forget the "I" and let go and let God! Your life is not your own anymore and God has a plan for your life, find out how you can follow it. Relinquish control, there is freedom to be found there.
Worrying is stupid. No, really it is. It's so pointless. Do you have any idea how many nights I've been kept awake most of the night with worry? Maybe you've suffered the same self inflicted torture. It was dumb wasn't it? Did it turn out to be the disaster you were picturing in your head? Probably not. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's so stupid. Just stop. Once again, let it go. God is already ahead of you anyway. Let Him handle it.
Sanctification isn't church attendance. If you go to church and help at the local food shelter and donate to this or that charity- don't be counting yourself as the biggest saint there ever was. And certainly don't be looking at others who don't do those things as sinners. God looks at the heart of a person. We can't go ahead and get caught up in a whole mess of "works" of the flesh and think, I got to church or help this or that person, I'm good... No, we must examine ourselves— daily! Examine ourselves daily before God. Father, please reveal to me anything within me that displeases you or isn't of you. It's a hearty prayer but a good one.
Life is less about doing and more about being. Oh boy this one really spun my head around once I really sunk my teeth into it and got it. It's life's finest art, it truly is. I will preface this short blurb by saying I wrote an entire book on this subject matter because this has been, for me, the most freeing experience I have ever crossed paths with. The book is called "Human, Being." It has been changing the lives of the people who have been reading it and I feel so honored God set me on the path to such a touching and meaningful writing project. Please check it out, I'll leave the web address at the end of this blog. Okay, being. Yes, just being. Not doing- everything- all the time. That's what we as humans have been conditioned to do, is do everything. We twist; contort, control, bend until we break— literally. Stop! Stop the madness, stop trying to do everything all at once! Slow down. Enjoy life. Take it all in. This is the finest experience of life, just being. Being who God created us to be! Oh this one is so good, so freeing, so life giving.
Throw away the picture you have in your head because it will become your enemy. That picture you have in your head of how things should be will mock you and cause you more grief than you could ever connect the dots enough to understand. I'm not calling you stupid, what I'm saying is that the small picture we have for our lives has much deeper roots than we realize and the ripple effect is far more reaching than we could ever imagine! I have no idea how many lives I reach and touch through my writing. I don't know until a reader reaches out to me and tells me and even then I still don't know about the many others. The picture you've set in your mind of what life should look like will be your downfall. First of all, God has a grand plan for all of our lives and it's far bigger and more extravagant than we can envision. Secondly, by setting a picture in our minds of precise specifications you are setting limits for yourself when we worship a limitless God. God isn't a genie so I don't think it would be wise to treat Him as such but He is limitless. He hears your prayers dear friend, ask. And my third point here is; by setting preconceived pictures in our mind, when things fall desperately short of those pictures we are infinitely disappointed. Now, if you're willing to go along with God's plan- which you cannot see, you have no expectation other than the fact that God will lead you.
Different isn't bad. Different is just different. When Cookiepants was born she wasn't what we expected, she came out needing all types of help, serious medical help. She was born different than us. This was difficult to accept, we had no indication while I was pregnant that anything was wrong with her. It didn't matter to us that she wasn't what we expected, we loved her no less and actually, have come to love and cherish her even more than we ever could have imagined. I lead a different kind of life, ranging from my life as a wife and mother and even down to my diet. I handle things differently than most people do. When some panic and worry, I'll pray. When out to eat for a nice meal, some order steak- I'll order just vegetables. I'm quite firm in what I believe, it's taken me my entire life to come to these conclusions and decisions and I've felt as though I've been lead here by the Holy Spirit. It's where I am, this is my life. I've learned not to judge others just because they're different, it's a constant and conscious practice. Every time I encounter someone new or someone I know, conversations are exchanged, opinions are exchanged- there is no room for judgement. From me or from them. It's not my place to judge and their life isn't mine, we haven't walked the same path or come to the same conclusions. One of the greatest mistakes you can make is assume you're being judged by someone with firm beliefs. Just because they believe something in an unshakeable way doesn't mean that they're looking at you, believing you're wrong because you're not living the way they are. Make sense? I'm vegan. When I walk into a restaurant and see meat on everyone's plate I don't think to myself- "look at all these meat eaters, what a bunch of disgusting low life jerks, eating their meat happily." (Really, I don't) What I think about is how I used to eat meat and what it was that I was brought to in my life to make the decision to go vegan. I will never win over a person in the case of veganism by telling them how "wrong" they are and shoving my beliefs and facts down their throat. How many souls have been won over in the case of Christianity like that? By living in this way you're playing the role of judge. So both parties are guilty of passing judgement. Let others live their lives and be different and love them. Sure, share truth with them, whether it's health related, the Gospel or whatever it is, share truth but don't judge and don't try and force your hand. We're called to plant seeds in the lives of others, God takes care of growing those seeds.
Oh I knew I was going to run into this, it's too hard to pick just a few things to talk about here. If these walls could talk I would need to learn how to type faster so I could take better notes. It really has been a wild and crazy last several years, I can't believe the people who are walking out of this place. Who we've become and the people God is shaping us into being. I am so blessed and feel so honored.
Just a couple last minute things because it's nearing the hour of commotion... If you feel as though you can't go any further be prepared to go just a little bit further. That's where growth happens and that's where the fruit is. And the things you think that you can't accomplish are the very things you should fight hard to accomplish through prayer and just doing it. Those will be crowning accomplishments! Those will be a part of your testimony of your life. Those will likely be points scored for the Kingdom.
Well, I think that's it for now. It's bittersweet closing up a last blog post in this home. So much was learned and accomplished here. I hope this has helped at least one person. Keep going, life is turbulent at times and at others times we're on the highest mountain peaks! Hang on, cling to Jesus. He really does know what He's doing and He never does leave. I can say that with certainty. We've endured enough to know He has never left our side and we know He is already awaiting us in our new home. It's so exciting, this new chapter we're embarking on. I have no idea what lay ahead but I know the One who does.
Much love dear friend, I hope you have an especially blessed day!
First of all, I just want to thank my faithful readers, it appears that my readership has grown here on this blog. So, I'm excited and grateful for that! So thank you dear reader friends, sign up for email alerts every time I post on here. I try my best not to disappoint and to just keep it real here. I figure so much of the world is a mirage, I feel compelled to speak truth and life. With that being said... Onto today's post.
Here it is, the day is here— moving day! Am I scared? No. Nervous? A little... I just want everything to go quickly and smoothly. My husband is in charge of orchestrating the moving portion of it, so I have full confidence in him! Originally they forecast rain for today but they've changed it several times. I think they've decided it will rain but not until later today. *sigh* This is Wisconsin after all folks and the weather is never predictable.
I've been feeling a bit emotional the last few days as I gaze around each room, now packed (as neatly as possible) in boxes. What a wild and crazy almost 5 years here. So much life was lived here- in a relatively short time. There were so many life lessons I learned while living here, mostly hard ones or ones that came at a great cost. There were so many tears here, there was a lot of praying done here, a lot of crying out. But there was also a lot of planning and praising and laughter. There is no real way to condense everything I learned down into one blog post, it would probably be a short novel filled with bullet points. So, I will do my best to pass along the big ones, the real head scratchers.
Life isn't about stuff or what you accomplish, it's more about who is in your life and how you treat them. This was a difficult and frustrating lesson in some ways. There is nothing like tragedy to separate the real deal from the fakes. The people who are in remain while the "only when the sun is shining" type of people disappear. Wow! This was a real eye opener. This was a hard lesson. But you take a deep breath in, remind yourself that God is sovereign- which means He's sovereign in your relationships too.
Life isn't about you, it's more about them. Whoever them is, whether it's your spouse, your children or anyone else God has put in your care. It's about them, not you. Sure, take care of yourself too but you're not number one.
Stop trying to control everything it is a fruitless endeavor. Really, it is. You will be frustrated and far more exhausted that you would be if you just handed it over to God! Just surrender. It will be the wisest decision you've ever made. But what if things don't turn out the way I wanted them to? Or what if it's not what I want. What if I'm not happy? -------Do you hear all the I's in there? Oh yeah, it's not about ME. Forget the "I" and let go and let God! Your life is not your own anymore and God has a plan for your life, find out how you can follow it. Relinquish control, there is freedom to be found there.
Worrying is stupid. No, really it is. It's so pointless. Do you have any idea how many nights I've been kept awake most of the night with worry? Maybe you've suffered the same self inflicted torture. It was dumb wasn't it? Did it turn out to be the disaster you were picturing in your head? Probably not. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's so stupid. Just stop. Once again, let it go. God is already ahead of you anyway. Let Him handle it.
Sanctification isn't church attendance. If you go to church and help at the local food shelter and donate to this or that charity- don't be counting yourself as the biggest saint there ever was. And certainly don't be looking at others who don't do those things as sinners. God looks at the heart of a person. We can't go ahead and get caught up in a whole mess of "works" of the flesh and think, I got to church or help this or that person, I'm good... No, we must examine ourselves— daily! Examine ourselves daily before God. Father, please reveal to me anything within me that displeases you or isn't of you. It's a hearty prayer but a good one.
Life is less about doing and more about being. Oh boy this one really spun my head around once I really sunk my teeth into it and got it. It's life's finest art, it truly is. I will preface this short blurb by saying I wrote an entire book on this subject matter because this has been, for me, the most freeing experience I have ever crossed paths with. The book is called "Human, Being." It has been changing the lives of the people who have been reading it and I feel so honored God set me on the path to such a touching and meaningful writing project. Please check it out, I'll leave the web address at the end of this blog. Okay, being. Yes, just being. Not doing- everything- all the time. That's what we as humans have been conditioned to do, is do everything. We twist; contort, control, bend until we break— literally. Stop! Stop the madness, stop trying to do everything all at once! Slow down. Enjoy life. Take it all in. This is the finest experience of life, just being. Being who God created us to be! Oh this one is so good, so freeing, so life giving.
Throw away the picture you have in your head because it will become your enemy. That picture you have in your head of how things should be will mock you and cause you more grief than you could ever connect the dots enough to understand. I'm not calling you stupid, what I'm saying is that the small picture we have for our lives has much deeper roots than we realize and the ripple effect is far more reaching than we could ever imagine! I have no idea how many lives I reach and touch through my writing. I don't know until a reader reaches out to me and tells me and even then I still don't know about the many others. The picture you've set in your mind of what life should look like will be your downfall. First of all, God has a grand plan for all of our lives and it's far bigger and more extravagant than we can envision. Secondly, by setting a picture in our minds of precise specifications you are setting limits for yourself when we worship a limitless God. God isn't a genie so I don't think it would be wise to treat Him as such but He is limitless. He hears your prayers dear friend, ask. And my third point here is; by setting preconceived pictures in our mind, when things fall desperately short of those pictures we are infinitely disappointed. Now, if you're willing to go along with God's plan- which you cannot see, you have no expectation other than the fact that God will lead you.
Different isn't bad. Different is just different. When Cookiepants was born she wasn't what we expected, she came out needing all types of help, serious medical help. She was born different than us. This was difficult to accept, we had no indication while I was pregnant that anything was wrong with her. It didn't matter to us that she wasn't what we expected, we loved her no less and actually, have come to love and cherish her even more than we ever could have imagined. I lead a different kind of life, ranging from my life as a wife and mother and even down to my diet. I handle things differently than most people do. When some panic and worry, I'll pray. When out to eat for a nice meal, some order steak- I'll order just vegetables. I'm quite firm in what I believe, it's taken me my entire life to come to these conclusions and decisions and I've felt as though I've been lead here by the Holy Spirit. It's where I am, this is my life. I've learned not to judge others just because they're different, it's a constant and conscious practice. Every time I encounter someone new or someone I know, conversations are exchanged, opinions are exchanged- there is no room for judgement. From me or from them. It's not my place to judge and their life isn't mine, we haven't walked the same path or come to the same conclusions. One of the greatest mistakes you can make is assume you're being judged by someone with firm beliefs. Just because they believe something in an unshakeable way doesn't mean that they're looking at you, believing you're wrong because you're not living the way they are. Make sense? I'm vegan. When I walk into a restaurant and see meat on everyone's plate I don't think to myself- "look at all these meat eaters, what a bunch of disgusting low life jerks, eating their meat happily." (Really, I don't) What I think about is how I used to eat meat and what it was that I was brought to in my life to make the decision to go vegan. I will never win over a person in the case of veganism by telling them how "wrong" they are and shoving my beliefs and facts down their throat. How many souls have been won over in the case of Christianity like that? By living in this way you're playing the role of judge. So both parties are guilty of passing judgement. Let others live their lives and be different and love them. Sure, share truth with them, whether it's health related, the Gospel or whatever it is, share truth but don't judge and don't try and force your hand. We're called to plant seeds in the lives of others, God takes care of growing those seeds.
Oh I knew I was going to run into this, it's too hard to pick just a few things to talk about here. If these walls could talk I would need to learn how to type faster so I could take better notes. It really has been a wild and crazy last several years, I can't believe the people who are walking out of this place. Who we've become and the people God is shaping us into being. I am so blessed and feel so honored.
Just a couple last minute things because it's nearing the hour of commotion... If you feel as though you can't go any further be prepared to go just a little bit further. That's where growth happens and that's where the fruit is. And the things you think that you can't accomplish are the very things you should fight hard to accomplish through prayer and just doing it. Those will be crowning accomplishments! Those will be a part of your testimony of your life. Those will likely be points scored for the Kingdom.
Well, I think that's it for now. It's bittersweet closing up a last blog post in this home. So much was learned and accomplished here. I hope this has helped at least one person. Keep going, life is turbulent at times and at others times we're on the highest mountain peaks! Hang on, cling to Jesus. He really does know what He's doing and He never does leave. I can say that with certainty. We've endured enough to know He has never left our side and we know He is already awaiting us in our new home. It's so exciting, this new chapter we're embarking on. I have no idea what lay ahead but I know the One who does.
Much love dear friend, I hope you have an especially blessed day!
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Moving on
The last 5 years have been a bit of a whirlwind to say the very least. January marked our 5th winter in this home, being the longest I've lived anywhere since moving out of my parents house on my 18th birthday. So for me, it was a landmark. I suppose you can say I've struggled to make a home anywhere for too long. And because God was the one that set aside this home for us in the first place, staying here this long wasn't a challenge.
I've spent the last week really digging into packing up the house for our move next week. It's been a bit emotional and definitely a reminder to take things down and dust them off every once in a while- haha! I've been walking around the house for the last couple of weeks trying to decide what can get packed up and what can stay out until the last minute. I've been setting aside things we can pass along, hopefully, to someone who needs the items. Then I began thinking about who we were when we moved in here. Our oldest would have just celebrated her 6th birthday, so that's what? Kindergarten? Wow! She's in 4th grade now. Cookiepants and her little brother weren't on the radar yet. We walked into the house as 3 people and are walking out as 5.
When we moved in here I was still young in my sobriety, though I already had some time under my belt. My husband was still working at the facility with troubled youth in his chosen social work field. And I, only had one book published- all the way back in 2008! Since being here I've established myself as a stay at home mom and author. An ever crazier fact, every book I've published, I've done so since Cookiepants was born! Imagine that. Being a special needs parent doesn't mean you have less of a life, it just means you work a bit harder for the life you want. It has been worth it!
Since we've been here I've embraced motherhood more than ever, being that I have 3 children instead of just one. I've learned that I'm able to take care of a special little person with extraordinary medical needs. I've learned more about marriage since I've been living here- that it's more about the other person than it is about you. And that next in line after God is my husband. I've learned what it truly means to feel alone, even when you're surrounded by other people. I've discovered who true friends are and that just because someone is blood related that it doesn't mean they're there for you. I've learned about the social media haze and what it can do to your life and how to break free from it. I've learned to live and let live, let go and let God- even when you're scared. I've learned the biggest risks often yield the greatest rewards, especially when they're taken in obedience to God. I've learned more so that health should be a top priority because if I'm not healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally) I can't take care of others.
Many tears have been shed here but there has been much laughter too. This is where I've grown the most. This is where I've plummeted to a place I wasn't sure I was going to crawl out of. This is where I leaned on Jesus just to get me through the day. This is where I've seen God's hand in more circumstances than I ever could have imagined. This is where I learned that God really is good. This is where I truly began to see God in everything.
I'm not sure what the road looks like ahead. I know we'll have struggles in the future because life has a way of throwing a curve ball. But because of everything I've learned while living here, I am confident that no matter what lay ahead God will be there. He already is there and it's going to be okay.
I pray for more laughter, more adventures and more fun. I pray for more teaching moments, more time with my Savior and seeing the hand of God in everything. I pray for choosing peace even when circumstances are pushing me toward chaos. I pray for thriving friendships, good times and being who God created us to be.
There will be a moment when the house is empty and I will look around and see the last 5 years pass through my mind. And though the road hasn't been easy, I will smile, look up and say: "Thank you Father for your goodness, you made this place a good home."
Have a blessed day friends!
I've spent the last week really digging into packing up the house for our move next week. It's been a bit emotional and definitely a reminder to take things down and dust them off every once in a while- haha! I've been walking around the house for the last couple of weeks trying to decide what can get packed up and what can stay out until the last minute. I've been setting aside things we can pass along, hopefully, to someone who needs the items. Then I began thinking about who we were when we moved in here. Our oldest would have just celebrated her 6th birthday, so that's what? Kindergarten? Wow! She's in 4th grade now. Cookiepants and her little brother weren't on the radar yet. We walked into the house as 3 people and are walking out as 5.
When we moved in here I was still young in my sobriety, though I already had some time under my belt. My husband was still working at the facility with troubled youth in his chosen social work field. And I, only had one book published- all the way back in 2008! Since being here I've established myself as a stay at home mom and author. An ever crazier fact, every book I've published, I've done so since Cookiepants was born! Imagine that. Being a special needs parent doesn't mean you have less of a life, it just means you work a bit harder for the life you want. It has been worth it!
Since we've been here I've embraced motherhood more than ever, being that I have 3 children instead of just one. I've learned that I'm able to take care of a special little person with extraordinary medical needs. I've learned more about marriage since I've been living here- that it's more about the other person than it is about you. And that next in line after God is my husband. I've learned what it truly means to feel alone, even when you're surrounded by other people. I've discovered who true friends are and that just because someone is blood related that it doesn't mean they're there for you. I've learned about the social media haze and what it can do to your life and how to break free from it. I've learned to live and let live, let go and let God- even when you're scared. I've learned the biggest risks often yield the greatest rewards, especially when they're taken in obedience to God. I've learned more so that health should be a top priority because if I'm not healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally) I can't take care of others.
Many tears have been shed here but there has been much laughter too. This is where I've grown the most. This is where I've plummeted to a place I wasn't sure I was going to crawl out of. This is where I leaned on Jesus just to get me through the day. This is where I've seen God's hand in more circumstances than I ever could have imagined. This is where I learned that God really is good. This is where I truly began to see God in everything.
I'm not sure what the road looks like ahead. I know we'll have struggles in the future because life has a way of throwing a curve ball. But because of everything I've learned while living here, I am confident that no matter what lay ahead God will be there. He already is there and it's going to be okay.
I pray for more laughter, more adventures and more fun. I pray for more teaching moments, more time with my Savior and seeing the hand of God in everything. I pray for choosing peace even when circumstances are pushing me toward chaos. I pray for thriving friendships, good times and being who God created us to be.
There will be a moment when the house is empty and I will look around and see the last 5 years pass through my mind. And though the road hasn't been easy, I will smile, look up and say: "Thank you Father for your goodness, you made this place a good home."
Have a blessed day friends!
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
Now is not the time
Now is not the time to take steps away from God. Now is not the time to discredit God. It never has been the time to walk away, it has never been the time to try and prove Him wrong. Unfortunately, a lot of humans to walk away and try to prove Him wrong. Sadly, one day they discover it's too late, when it is too late. But if you're reading this, it isn't too late.
God had a glorious plan for mankind, for us to be reconciled back to Himself by our own choosing.
I traveled along a path for the majority of my life doing what I wanted, when I wanted. Though I had most everything I wanted, I still wasn't happy. It wasn't until I realized that it was God who was missing from my life that I knew that's what the longing was all while. I spent money trying to fill the hole, I spent time out with people who likely weren't there for the betterment of my life, that still didn't fill the hole. The person I was when I was alone, was who I really was at that time. Who was I? Was I happy? Was I filled with joy? Was I content? Lost; no, no and no. Those are my answers.
I got to the point of "what is the point!?" before I realized what I needed. God was wooing me through my miserable circumstances and He used the most unlikely of people- at times. Oh boy, God's patience with me in the beginning... It was sweet and nurturing. It was inspiring and caused my heart to warm towards Him. I began to see God for who He was, rather than the twisted ideology behind Him. His nature was laid out in His word and in His actions in my life.
God's word is absolute truth. Science is theory. Do you have any idea how many scientific theories have been debunked and rendered obsolete? Me either... I couldn't find an exact number. Although there was one website that sited 104 obsolete theories with subcategories below each. So that may total several thousand, maybe more. What about the big bang theory? A theory, nothing more. The world was once believed to be flat. It was once believed that we couldn't travel to the moon. It was also once believed that we were residing in the only solar system in outer space.
It was once socially acceptable to smoke in hospitals and on airplanes. Sugar replacements were once touted as being better, now we're coming to find that they cause cancer and a whole list of other problems. Plastic was designed as a convenient product, now it's showing up in the belly's of marine animals and beaching them, eventually killing them.
It seems that whatever is created with profit in mind rather that God eventually comes tumbling down. If these things become elevated above the mind of God, they will eventually fail. We can't continue to assert ourselves above God and expect to succeed. It just isn't possible, eventually we will fall flat on our faces.
Do you know how many Bible's have been discredited? Zero.
There are theories against what the Bible says but if you have Jesus in your heart you already know the Bible is absolute truth. Many people ask, "Where are the evidences of the flood?" "Where is the ark?" Where is the Garden of Eden?" You know what I believe? It's all hidden from our sight. You know why? Because we are called to walk by faith not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)
So, let me ask you this, do you want to follow after a bunch of people who were once spoon fed; crapped their pants and threw temper tantrums when they were children- just like you did? Or do you want to follow hard after a mighty and all knowing God— whom created everything? A God who isn't given to mood or feelings that change in a moments notice? A God who isn't a respecter of persons? A God who deeply loves and cares for you, even as you've rejected Him? Who then, who will you follow after? Men are proven wrong and eventually die. God on the other hand will never be proven wrong and will never die. God is eternal! And you have an opportunity to spend eternity with Him.
Just trust. Trust in Him. Trust in His Son Jesus. Walk toward Him, not away. You can't go wrong trusting God, it's a decision you'll never regret.
Have a blessed week my friends, take those steps toward God.
God had a glorious plan for mankind, for us to be reconciled back to Himself by our own choosing.
I traveled along a path for the majority of my life doing what I wanted, when I wanted. Though I had most everything I wanted, I still wasn't happy. It wasn't until I realized that it was God who was missing from my life that I knew that's what the longing was all while. I spent money trying to fill the hole, I spent time out with people who likely weren't there for the betterment of my life, that still didn't fill the hole. The person I was when I was alone, was who I really was at that time. Who was I? Was I happy? Was I filled with joy? Was I content? Lost; no, no and no. Those are my answers.
I got to the point of "what is the point!?" before I realized what I needed. God was wooing me through my miserable circumstances and He used the most unlikely of people- at times. Oh boy, God's patience with me in the beginning... It was sweet and nurturing. It was inspiring and caused my heart to warm towards Him. I began to see God for who He was, rather than the twisted ideology behind Him. His nature was laid out in His word and in His actions in my life.
God's word is absolute truth. Science is theory. Do you have any idea how many scientific theories have been debunked and rendered obsolete? Me either... I couldn't find an exact number. Although there was one website that sited 104 obsolete theories with subcategories below each. So that may total several thousand, maybe more. What about the big bang theory? A theory, nothing more. The world was once believed to be flat. It was once believed that we couldn't travel to the moon. It was also once believed that we were residing in the only solar system in outer space.
It was once socially acceptable to smoke in hospitals and on airplanes. Sugar replacements were once touted as being better, now we're coming to find that they cause cancer and a whole list of other problems. Plastic was designed as a convenient product, now it's showing up in the belly's of marine animals and beaching them, eventually killing them.
It seems that whatever is created with profit in mind rather that God eventually comes tumbling down. If these things become elevated above the mind of God, they will eventually fail. We can't continue to assert ourselves above God and expect to succeed. It just isn't possible, eventually we will fall flat on our faces.
Do you know how many Bible's have been discredited? Zero.
There are theories against what the Bible says but if you have Jesus in your heart you already know the Bible is absolute truth. Many people ask, "Where are the evidences of the flood?" "Where is the ark?" Where is the Garden of Eden?" You know what I believe? It's all hidden from our sight. You know why? Because we are called to walk by faith not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)
So, let me ask you this, do you want to follow after a bunch of people who were once spoon fed; crapped their pants and threw temper tantrums when they were children- just like you did? Or do you want to follow hard after a mighty and all knowing God— whom created everything? A God who isn't given to mood or feelings that change in a moments notice? A God who isn't a respecter of persons? A God who deeply loves and cares for you, even as you've rejected Him? Who then, who will you follow after? Men are proven wrong and eventually die. God on the other hand will never be proven wrong and will never die. God is eternal! And you have an opportunity to spend eternity with Him.
Just trust. Trust in Him. Trust in His Son Jesus. Walk toward Him, not away. You can't go wrong trusting God, it's a decision you'll never regret.
Have a blessed week my friends, take those steps toward God.
Monday, March 13, 2017
When winter ends...
Today is March 13th, 2017. We just turned our clocks forward early Sunday morning and spring is next week. I remember when I was a kid, as soon as the calendar turned to March I would dig out all of my summer clothes. I would put them on believing that if I embraced the spring and summer season, that the weather outside would follow— immediately. Boy was I ever wrong.
Here I am just a wee bit older, filled with the same empty feeling in my spirit and itching with a similar temptation for an all out protest of winter. What is it about this season of the year that causes such a vast emptiness within me? Is it the cold? The gray overtones and brown undertones outside? The fact that life has appeared to come to a halt yet everything is still in motion? I think it's a combination of all these things. Not to mention the body aches and pains I experience just from the cold.
When the world looks alive with green and animals scurrying about I can't help but look forward to getting out of bed and embracing the day. It's exciting! Even if I have nothing planned for the day. There is something invigorating about spring and summer, a coming alive of everything! The trees begin budding; the flowers begin the bloom, the birds are singing, there are sweet smells in the air. Spring and summer are all together lovely.
But what about a different winter in life? The kind that is no respecter of seasons? The winter that is heavy laden with struggles and strife? We've all had them. Our lives getting hit with one snow storm after another until we're nearly buried. There is only one man who can dig us out, Jesus! We've had our share of winter storms, they arrived no matter what season it was outside. Although, they were more tolerable when the weather was warm...
For me, winter is a winter season all in it's own. I struggle with it deeply. I know that I need Jesus everyday to push me through and give me enough strength to get through the day. Waking up with a headache everyday isn't fun, nor are the golf ball sized knots in my shoulders and neck. All due to the cold weather. After a while it becomes difficult to shine when the weather isn't shining but I still do. I know Jesus is the one that enables me to. If I gave into my flesh everyday would be filled with a dissertation about how miserable winter is and how much I hate it. And I would be the most rotten person to be around. I don't want to be that person, even though somewhere within me I feel that way.
So, I guess I'm writing this blog to share that even though I am not where I want to be right now, I know there is hope. And I'm not just talking about the mark of spring on the calendar next week. I'm talking about a hope that one day God will open the door for a move to a more appropriate climate for myself and my family.
I remember the first time I went to the ocean when I was 3, I fell in love with it. The sand between my toes; the smell, the sound of the waves, the utter freedom and wonder. It's still a very clear memory for me. Every time I return I'm reunited with something that has otherwise lain sleeping. There has been nothing else that has compared to it, I am in awe of God's wonders when I stand before His majestic ocean.
A couple years ago our family took a trip to Myrtle beach, South Carolina. Unbeknownst to me my husband made arrangements for our hotel room. I had no idea what lay behind that hotel room door and as soon as it swung open I was taken aback by the view... My husband bought me the ocean! And of course I cried, I was swept up with emotion by his thoughtfulness and love for me. That was a moment I will never forget. It's a time I dote upon on the cold and wintry days.
Though half of my life has been spent with a season I have a deep disdain for, I still have hope. I have hope that one day we will live near the ocean. One day the sun will be out everyday. I know that we will not be free from life's troubles but weather of preference certainly does go a long way in my book.
Here's to an early spring filled with beautiful flowers, bright sun and the joys of life in spite of our circumstances.
Sending much love from a snowy Wisconsin!
Here I am just a wee bit older, filled with the same empty feeling in my spirit and itching with a similar temptation for an all out protest of winter. What is it about this season of the year that causes such a vast emptiness within me? Is it the cold? The gray overtones and brown undertones outside? The fact that life has appeared to come to a halt yet everything is still in motion? I think it's a combination of all these things. Not to mention the body aches and pains I experience just from the cold.
When the world looks alive with green and animals scurrying about I can't help but look forward to getting out of bed and embracing the day. It's exciting! Even if I have nothing planned for the day. There is something invigorating about spring and summer, a coming alive of everything! The trees begin budding; the flowers begin the bloom, the birds are singing, there are sweet smells in the air. Spring and summer are all together lovely.
But what about a different winter in life? The kind that is no respecter of seasons? The winter that is heavy laden with struggles and strife? We've all had them. Our lives getting hit with one snow storm after another until we're nearly buried. There is only one man who can dig us out, Jesus! We've had our share of winter storms, they arrived no matter what season it was outside. Although, they were more tolerable when the weather was warm...
For me, winter is a winter season all in it's own. I struggle with it deeply. I know that I need Jesus everyday to push me through and give me enough strength to get through the day. Waking up with a headache everyday isn't fun, nor are the golf ball sized knots in my shoulders and neck. All due to the cold weather. After a while it becomes difficult to shine when the weather isn't shining but I still do. I know Jesus is the one that enables me to. If I gave into my flesh everyday would be filled with a dissertation about how miserable winter is and how much I hate it. And I would be the most rotten person to be around. I don't want to be that person, even though somewhere within me I feel that way.
So, I guess I'm writing this blog to share that even though I am not where I want to be right now, I know there is hope. And I'm not just talking about the mark of spring on the calendar next week. I'm talking about a hope that one day God will open the door for a move to a more appropriate climate for myself and my family.
I remember the first time I went to the ocean when I was 3, I fell in love with it. The sand between my toes; the smell, the sound of the waves, the utter freedom and wonder. It's still a very clear memory for me. Every time I return I'm reunited with something that has otherwise lain sleeping. There has been nothing else that has compared to it, I am in awe of God's wonders when I stand before His majestic ocean.
A couple years ago our family took a trip to Myrtle beach, South Carolina. Unbeknownst to me my husband made arrangements for our hotel room. I had no idea what lay behind that hotel room door and as soon as it swung open I was taken aback by the view... My husband bought me the ocean! And of course I cried, I was swept up with emotion by his thoughtfulness and love for me. That was a moment I will never forget. It's a time I dote upon on the cold and wintry days.
Though half of my life has been spent with a season I have a deep disdain for, I still have hope. I have hope that one day we will live near the ocean. One day the sun will be out everyday. I know that we will not be free from life's troubles but weather of preference certainly does go a long way in my book.
Here's to an early spring filled with beautiful flowers, bright sun and the joys of life in spite of our circumstances.
Sending much love from a snowy Wisconsin!
Thursday, March 9, 2017
UNDER ATTACK!!!!
"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat." Luke 22:31
Satan has asked... Yes, asked.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
In moments of frustration, Satan is fighting hard to steal your joy. In times of trouble, Satan is seeking to destroy your positive attitude. And when there looks to be no end to the misery, Satan is fighting hard to kill your hope.
Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, not to mention the text above says: all of you. Sift us as wheat; run us through the ringer, drag us through the mud, swing at us in a boxing match... We're in a war. It is a war and it has been cleared by the King of Kings.
It's not cruel considering God's number one priority is our spiritual development and oneness with Him. This life is temporary. Our troubles are momentary. But while in the midst of them, they're at times overwhelming and consuming.
Have you ever been under attack in the same way, over and over again? Or have you been under a string of attacks?
Let me ask you this, how did you react? Did you lose your crap? Scream; yell, shout, throw things, cuss? Or did you just stop in the midst of it, no matter how urgent it seemed and pray instead?
When you're in school and the teacher gives you a test, there are a series of questions you must fill out to get a passing grade, right? If you don't answer enough of the questions correctly, you're going to fail that test. In combination with all the other failed tests, the end of the year has come and you don't move onto the next grade. You failed to show the teacher that you retained enough information to move onto the next grade. So, next year, you get to go through that same grade all over again.
How is life any different? How is becoming a well rounded person in Christ any different? Our aim as followers of Jesus Christ is to become more like Him. It's best for us, He set the best possibly example of how a human should conduct themselves here on planet earth. If you don't believe me, read more of His words. He didn't walk around jaded and worn down by the weight of the world. He walked with boldness and certainty. He had a beautiful soul. He loved everyone. He is peace. He is life. That is my aim.
It hasn't been an easy road being molded to be more like Jesus. I'd be lying if I said it was a walk in the park because it hasn't been. I've cried; I've wept, I've yelled and cussed. But I've also prayed; praised, sang and persevered. My walk hadn't changed one bit until I changed my reaction.
Yes, I changed my reaction. It is the only thing I have control over in my life- my attitude and how I react. Think about it for a moment, what can you control?
—Nothing.
When the walls are pressing in and I'm exhausted and just can't do it anymore, I'm changing my reaction. The situation doesn't seem to weighty anymore. It feels more doable. An end appears. I pray. I pray my way through it, as I'm wading through the mud of life. I'm never alone, Jesus is always with me, so why wouldn't I talk to Him. We're going through this together, He is the one who gives me strength.
Do you have those days where it's just one thing after another? The kids; the coffee maker, the car, the traffic, spilled coffee on your lap, that annoying coworker. Look at your reaction. Don't blame it on the universe being out to get you. This has more to do with you that you realize. And here's a bit to get angry about, Satan is betting against you. Oh he sure is, he wants to see you lose. He wants to see you fall flat on your face so he can come back next week and hit you just as hard for the same stuff. Doesn't that make you angry? He is betting against you and wants you to lose your crap... What are we supposed to do?
War against him. Change your reaction. He's trying to get your goat, don't let him. Your poor reaction leaves the door cracked open for spiritual attacks.
"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Ephesians 4:26-27
When faced with adversity, don't react poorly, you look foolish. You're being laughed at by the enemy and his dark followers. How is your poor reaction any different from that of a 3 year old having a temper tantrum? It isn't. We're adults, we're followers of Christ. Let's seek out godly council, pray and react appropriately.
Jesus is your strength. Jesus will spur you on and give you whatever is necessary to press on. I know like can really stink sometimes but our ridiculous reaction just makes it worse and secures us a spot for continued attacks. The best encouragement I can find to support this; "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7
An antagonist will eventually give up when they're not getting the reaction they desire from you. Submit yourselves to God! Pray. Trust. Press in. Submit. Resist by not giving in. Say no. Talk to Jesus. Satan will leave you alone. He has to because you closed the door that allowed him in.
Friends, I know we've all been here. It's part of life. Life wasn't meant to make us happy- although we find happiness while we're here. Life was meant to mold us into the character and nature of Christ. We could have no better role model than He. Praise Him in your trials, press into Him. He defeated death and the devil. We don't know how to navigate through the minefields of life, but He does.
Have a blessed day friends!
Satan has asked... Yes, asked.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
In moments of frustration, Satan is fighting hard to steal your joy. In times of trouble, Satan is seeking to destroy your positive attitude. And when there looks to be no end to the misery, Satan is fighting hard to kill your hope.
Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, not to mention the text above says: all of you. Sift us as wheat; run us through the ringer, drag us through the mud, swing at us in a boxing match... We're in a war. It is a war and it has been cleared by the King of Kings.
It's not cruel considering God's number one priority is our spiritual development and oneness with Him. This life is temporary. Our troubles are momentary. But while in the midst of them, they're at times overwhelming and consuming.
Have you ever been under attack in the same way, over and over again? Or have you been under a string of attacks?
Let me ask you this, how did you react? Did you lose your crap? Scream; yell, shout, throw things, cuss? Or did you just stop in the midst of it, no matter how urgent it seemed and pray instead?
When you're in school and the teacher gives you a test, there are a series of questions you must fill out to get a passing grade, right? If you don't answer enough of the questions correctly, you're going to fail that test. In combination with all the other failed tests, the end of the year has come and you don't move onto the next grade. You failed to show the teacher that you retained enough information to move onto the next grade. So, next year, you get to go through that same grade all over again.
How is life any different? How is becoming a well rounded person in Christ any different? Our aim as followers of Jesus Christ is to become more like Him. It's best for us, He set the best possibly example of how a human should conduct themselves here on planet earth. If you don't believe me, read more of His words. He didn't walk around jaded and worn down by the weight of the world. He walked with boldness and certainty. He had a beautiful soul. He loved everyone. He is peace. He is life. That is my aim.
It hasn't been an easy road being molded to be more like Jesus. I'd be lying if I said it was a walk in the park because it hasn't been. I've cried; I've wept, I've yelled and cussed. But I've also prayed; praised, sang and persevered. My walk hadn't changed one bit until I changed my reaction.
Yes, I changed my reaction. It is the only thing I have control over in my life- my attitude and how I react. Think about it for a moment, what can you control?
—Nothing.
When the walls are pressing in and I'm exhausted and just can't do it anymore, I'm changing my reaction. The situation doesn't seem to weighty anymore. It feels more doable. An end appears. I pray. I pray my way through it, as I'm wading through the mud of life. I'm never alone, Jesus is always with me, so why wouldn't I talk to Him. We're going through this together, He is the one who gives me strength.
Do you have those days where it's just one thing after another? The kids; the coffee maker, the car, the traffic, spilled coffee on your lap, that annoying coworker. Look at your reaction. Don't blame it on the universe being out to get you. This has more to do with you that you realize. And here's a bit to get angry about, Satan is betting against you. Oh he sure is, he wants to see you lose. He wants to see you fall flat on your face so he can come back next week and hit you just as hard for the same stuff. Doesn't that make you angry? He is betting against you and wants you to lose your crap... What are we supposed to do?
War against him. Change your reaction. He's trying to get your goat, don't let him. Your poor reaction leaves the door cracked open for spiritual attacks.
"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Ephesians 4:26-27
When faced with adversity, don't react poorly, you look foolish. You're being laughed at by the enemy and his dark followers. How is your poor reaction any different from that of a 3 year old having a temper tantrum? It isn't. We're adults, we're followers of Christ. Let's seek out godly council, pray and react appropriately.
Jesus is your strength. Jesus will spur you on and give you whatever is necessary to press on. I know like can really stink sometimes but our ridiculous reaction just makes it worse and secures us a spot for continued attacks. The best encouragement I can find to support this; "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7
An antagonist will eventually give up when they're not getting the reaction they desire from you. Submit yourselves to God! Pray. Trust. Press in. Submit. Resist by not giving in. Say no. Talk to Jesus. Satan will leave you alone. He has to because you closed the door that allowed him in.
Friends, I know we've all been here. It's part of life. Life wasn't meant to make us happy- although we find happiness while we're here. Life was meant to mold us into the character and nature of Christ. We could have no better role model than He. Praise Him in your trials, press into Him. He defeated death and the devil. We don't know how to navigate through the minefields of life, but He does.
Have a blessed day friends!
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
My love affair
When what I had wasn't enough, I reached outside of my limitations. When what I had didn't satisfy me, I chased after what did.
Chips. Yes, that's right, chips. I've had a love affair with junk food since before I was a teenager. Oh man, I've loved chips for a long time!
I went vegan almost a year ago now, it was a lifestyle change that I needed for me, for the environment— everything. I don't regret my decision, not even a little bit. It hasn't been a difficult move for me, just keeping the variety is a bit difficult sometimes. Especially during the winter (which is way too long) I'm more of a salad kind of gal and during the winter it doesn't always satisfy. I love my comfort food, like really love it. Before I went vegan nothing satisfied me more than twice baked potato soup with extra bacon. Oh my gosh!
So, potatoes. They are (in my opinion) a food group all their own. You can do almost anything with them. But for me, on the fly or a quick snack, I loved a handful of potato chips. Or even these other chips I had found - that were vegan but I couldn't stop eating them! But after my stomach feeling like it was on fire every night and gaining a few water weight pounds, I knew it was time to give them up. Ugh, the sodium content... That's what was killing me. I guess I really have to watch that. It lit me up at night, no matter how much water I drank it didn't take away the burn. And it had tremendously slowed down my digestion. So it was time to go.
This hasn't been easy... I pack chips in my husbands work lunch everyday. There is a small basket on top of the fridge containing all the chips too. I see them all the time. But you know what, this is how I gave up soda too. I had a 12 pack of throwback Pepsi in my house when I gave it up, it was torn open with a few soda's missing. Every time I walked past it, it called to me... Haha. I kept saying no.
I guess my point in all of this, is that we all struggle with something. And when it's time to give something up, it will just happen. Not by beating ourselves up. Not my shaming or guilting. It will just naturally happen. I know there are other people out there struggling with something greater than a chip addiction. Don't shame them. Don't judge them. Support them. Encourage them.
I've been there. I used to drink. I wasn't an out of control alcoholic but a textbook alcoholic is defined as someone who has a habit in relation to alcohol. Whether it's the time of day they have it or that they have even one drink a day. It's still considered a habit. Especially if a day isn't missed. That was me. I began reasoning, I'll just drink every other week. And I did. I did just fine with that. But I looked forward to it. Or I'd have a few too many on that week- because I was making up for lost time. I've been freed from alcohol for almost 6 years this coming June. I haven't had a drop and I don't miss it one single bit! It didn't add anything to my life. Just like chips haven't either.
I know this is kind of a goofy post but I felt like I had to share this one because it's real, it's real to me. This post is very much keeping in step with the publication of: Human, being. In the way that it was a hang up of mine, even though seemingly trivial. But it was a hang up for me.
In my spirit for going on a year or so now, a prompting to take a proverbial roto-rooter to my life. I've been doing it little by little and un-strategically. I've been handling the things that are brought to my attention by way of the Holy Spirit. One by one these things, whether little or big are left at the wayside. Not by my doing but through a strength only God can give. There are other things, smaller and bigger things but I am confident when their number is called, they will fall to the side as well. My God is bigger than anything I can manage to have a fond attachment to. That, it something I can count on.
I hope this encourages someone, whether food is an addiction for you or if it's something else. If you have any questions about veganism, just ask. I'm always happy to talk about it. I don't however respond to criticism and ridicule. I choose not to give my time or energy over to those such things.
Have a blessed day my friends!
Chips. Yes, that's right, chips. I've had a love affair with junk food since before I was a teenager. Oh man, I've loved chips for a long time!
I went vegan almost a year ago now, it was a lifestyle change that I needed for me, for the environment— everything. I don't regret my decision, not even a little bit. It hasn't been a difficult move for me, just keeping the variety is a bit difficult sometimes. Especially during the winter (which is way too long) I'm more of a salad kind of gal and during the winter it doesn't always satisfy. I love my comfort food, like really love it. Before I went vegan nothing satisfied me more than twice baked potato soup with extra bacon. Oh my gosh!
So, potatoes. They are (in my opinion) a food group all their own. You can do almost anything with them. But for me, on the fly or a quick snack, I loved a handful of potato chips. Or even these other chips I had found - that were vegan but I couldn't stop eating them! But after my stomach feeling like it was on fire every night and gaining a few water weight pounds, I knew it was time to give them up. Ugh, the sodium content... That's what was killing me. I guess I really have to watch that. It lit me up at night, no matter how much water I drank it didn't take away the burn. And it had tremendously slowed down my digestion. So it was time to go.
This hasn't been easy... I pack chips in my husbands work lunch everyday. There is a small basket on top of the fridge containing all the chips too. I see them all the time. But you know what, this is how I gave up soda too. I had a 12 pack of throwback Pepsi in my house when I gave it up, it was torn open with a few soda's missing. Every time I walked past it, it called to me... Haha. I kept saying no.
I guess my point in all of this, is that we all struggle with something. And when it's time to give something up, it will just happen. Not by beating ourselves up. Not my shaming or guilting. It will just naturally happen. I know there are other people out there struggling with something greater than a chip addiction. Don't shame them. Don't judge them. Support them. Encourage them.
I've been there. I used to drink. I wasn't an out of control alcoholic but a textbook alcoholic is defined as someone who has a habit in relation to alcohol. Whether it's the time of day they have it or that they have even one drink a day. It's still considered a habit. Especially if a day isn't missed. That was me. I began reasoning, I'll just drink every other week. And I did. I did just fine with that. But I looked forward to it. Or I'd have a few too many on that week- because I was making up for lost time. I've been freed from alcohol for almost 6 years this coming June. I haven't had a drop and I don't miss it one single bit! It didn't add anything to my life. Just like chips haven't either.
I know this is kind of a goofy post but I felt like I had to share this one because it's real, it's real to me. This post is very much keeping in step with the publication of: Human, being. In the way that it was a hang up of mine, even though seemingly trivial. But it was a hang up for me.
In my spirit for going on a year or so now, a prompting to take a proverbial roto-rooter to my life. I've been doing it little by little and un-strategically. I've been handling the things that are brought to my attention by way of the Holy Spirit. One by one these things, whether little or big are left at the wayside. Not by my doing but through a strength only God can give. There are other things, smaller and bigger things but I am confident when their number is called, they will fall to the side as well. My God is bigger than anything I can manage to have a fond attachment to. That, it something I can count on.
I hope this encourages someone, whether food is an addiction for you or if it's something else. If you have any questions about veganism, just ask. I'm always happy to talk about it. I don't however respond to criticism and ridicule. I choose not to give my time or energy over to those such things.
Have a blessed day my friends!
Monday, March 6, 2017
Stay at home mom
I am a stay at home Mom. I am also an author. I am also in the process of radically changing my life by living in better obedience to the person God has called me to be. It sounds complicated but it isn't, it's yielding to His will for my life- not fighting for the life I think I should be living.
Oh I still have plans and hopes and dreams, I haven't turned all that in for a life of silence and obscurity. For the past several months, since the writing of: Human, being— I've been living my life more out loud than ever. I'm not going to stop where I am either.
For those of you that follow this blog regularly know that not only am I a stay at home Mom of 3, I am also a special needs Mom. Being a special needs Mom is a tall order, to say the very least. It's a call to be dynamic; on the fly, flexible and thrifty. My husband says, "Special needs means extra pillows and blankets." Ha! It is true, Cookiepants is usually cozied in amidst a pile of pillows and blankets. So, when Cookiepants needs something it usually means- now! I have to be ready around the clock because we never know what the day will hold.
As a stay at home Mom, I am always on the clock. I don't get to punch out and leave my work at work. Work is also home or anywhere else I go. I never thought I would embrace motherhood the way I have and I certainly never thought I would embrace being a special needs Mom the way I have either. I love being a mom, even with all of it's typical challenges and even the other the top challenges. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is who has filled my heart unto over flowing for my children. I know that God has strengthened me each and every single day. I know that the days I confessed to Jesus that I just couldn't do it anymore today, He was the one who sat beside me and took over.
So many nights I've flopped into my bed with the morning light peeking through the window and the alarm was set to go off soon. So many morning fueled by caffeine and a hearty breakfast. It has been this love that my heart is filled with that has spurred me on. The kind of love that only God could fill my heart with, a love that never runs out and only grows.
I think being a stay at home mom may be one of the most under rated "jobs" there is. Sure there are days where I scarcely get housework done but I've taken a new approach there too. But just because it didn't get done doesn't mean I sat on my rump eating fine chocolates and drinking wine while the kids ran a muck. It simply means I was too busy with the kids and it wasn't necessary for me to cause myself to feel overwhelmed. Our enemy wants us to feel overwhelmed but God wants us to have peace in the midst of chaos and busyness. We don't have to get all crazy getting busy around the house. Yes, absolutely take care of your home, you are the steward of your home. But moving about at break neck speeds and completely exhausting yourself isn't the way to go about it.
Take one thing at a time and in stride with the day. If the kids are pretty chill, push to get a bit more done. If they're nuts, you may be best off waiting until nap time or bedtime. I refuse to be that flop into bed mommy at the end of a typical day and I refuse to have guilt about the things I didn't get done either. It's over, the enemy loses. There isn't anywhere in the Bible that says I need to drive myself nuts doing everything just so I can be a good Mom. Read Proverbs 31, it's a lovely depiction of a wife and mother. It's what I strive to be but not by my own doing, by allowing God's work within me to shine through brightly. Not the person I think I should be. Not the Mom I think I should be. Not the Christian I think I should be. Just simply the woman God is molding me into being. And if that woman doesn't look like the woman I thought I ought to be, all the more better because God's choice is far better than I can ever express into words.
Don't be a strung out Mom, allow and make room for the Mom God wants you to be. Allow Him to mold you. Allow Him to have His way. Listen to His promptings, listen to His gentle call. He loves you and knows you better than you know yourself. Oh He is so good, dear friends.
Much love and wishing you a blessed day!
Oh I still have plans and hopes and dreams, I haven't turned all that in for a life of silence and obscurity. For the past several months, since the writing of: Human, being— I've been living my life more out loud than ever. I'm not going to stop where I am either.
For those of you that follow this blog regularly know that not only am I a stay at home Mom of 3, I am also a special needs Mom. Being a special needs Mom is a tall order, to say the very least. It's a call to be dynamic; on the fly, flexible and thrifty. My husband says, "Special needs means extra pillows and blankets." Ha! It is true, Cookiepants is usually cozied in amidst a pile of pillows and blankets. So, when Cookiepants needs something it usually means- now! I have to be ready around the clock because we never know what the day will hold.
As a stay at home Mom, I am always on the clock. I don't get to punch out and leave my work at work. Work is also home or anywhere else I go. I never thought I would embrace motherhood the way I have and I certainly never thought I would embrace being a special needs Mom the way I have either. I love being a mom, even with all of it's typical challenges and even the other the top challenges. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is who has filled my heart unto over flowing for my children. I know that God has strengthened me each and every single day. I know that the days I confessed to Jesus that I just couldn't do it anymore today, He was the one who sat beside me and took over.
So many nights I've flopped into my bed with the morning light peeking through the window and the alarm was set to go off soon. So many morning fueled by caffeine and a hearty breakfast. It has been this love that my heart is filled with that has spurred me on. The kind of love that only God could fill my heart with, a love that never runs out and only grows.
I think being a stay at home mom may be one of the most under rated "jobs" there is. Sure there are days where I scarcely get housework done but I've taken a new approach there too. But just because it didn't get done doesn't mean I sat on my rump eating fine chocolates and drinking wine while the kids ran a muck. It simply means I was too busy with the kids and it wasn't necessary for me to cause myself to feel overwhelmed. Our enemy wants us to feel overwhelmed but God wants us to have peace in the midst of chaos and busyness. We don't have to get all crazy getting busy around the house. Yes, absolutely take care of your home, you are the steward of your home. But moving about at break neck speeds and completely exhausting yourself isn't the way to go about it.
Take one thing at a time and in stride with the day. If the kids are pretty chill, push to get a bit more done. If they're nuts, you may be best off waiting until nap time or bedtime. I refuse to be that flop into bed mommy at the end of a typical day and I refuse to have guilt about the things I didn't get done either. It's over, the enemy loses. There isn't anywhere in the Bible that says I need to drive myself nuts doing everything just so I can be a good Mom. Read Proverbs 31, it's a lovely depiction of a wife and mother. It's what I strive to be but not by my own doing, by allowing God's work within me to shine through brightly. Not the person I think I should be. Not the Mom I think I should be. Not the Christian I think I should be. Just simply the woman God is molding me into being. And if that woman doesn't look like the woman I thought I ought to be, all the more better because God's choice is far better than I can ever express into words.
Don't be a strung out Mom, allow and make room for the Mom God wants you to be. Allow Him to mold you. Allow Him to have His way. Listen to His promptings, listen to His gentle call. He loves you and knows you better than you know yourself. Oh He is so good, dear friends.
Much love and wishing you a blessed day!
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Relationships
Reality is a strange thing... It isn't what we think it is either. There is a whole other alternate realm in which we move about, yet can't see. I know there are some twisted teachings on this, some more new age twisted ones. I know because I used to read the material and "practice" it. As always the enemy takes what is good and twists it.
There are things that we can't see that we're protected from, sometimes we find out what those things were and other times we don't. We are always in danger of some snare somewhere.
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
There are things God protects us from and there are pitfalls we can avoid but being aware and by praying continually. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
It sounds complicated, praying all the time. I think of it as talking to Jesus all day long, even if what you're saying is what you would deem boring. It's a relationship in which you share everything, even your silly little trivial thoughts. He already knows what you're thinking, the obedience and gesture of friendship is in saying those things out loud.
Jesus can even help you make decisions. "Lord, is this your will? What do you want me to do in this circumstance?" The Holy spirit knows when it's time to speak and when it's time to keep your mouth shut. If I didn't heed the Holy Spirits prompting I would say all kinds of things that weren't helpful or of use to others. It's not hard, it just requires a bit of obedience on our parts. Talking to God all day is far more real than the chair your sitting in. God is eternal. This world is temporal. That sums it up. And if Jesus Christ is your Lord and savior and you're going to spend eternity with Him, don't you want to talk to Him everyday- all day long? I know I do! I get distracted. There are so many things to distract me away from what is most important. But that is also part of the enemy's plan too.
When you're feeling that ancient spirit of getting over whelmed- know that readjusting your gaze back to God will diminish it. Life says- do everything NOW. God says- in My timing. Our enemy comes only to steal and kill and destroy. (John 10;10) Talking to God will help you discern what needs to be attended to immediately and what doesn't. It's amazing the things that will distract us away from what matters more.
We also live in an age where being social means logging into our social media account. Which doesn't supplement real human contact but in some cases, we've allowed it to. We have successfully substituted real friendships for "only at my convenience" and "just give me a quick rundown." Does that really replace face to face communication? No! We are accepting cheap substitutes for real friendships. Is social media nice to keep in touch with people who don't live in the same country or state as you? Absolutely, yes. But if it's a legitimate friendship, you're not keeping tabs on one another just by your status update and choreographed pictures that are posted.
Our enemy is quite crafty when it comes to the allure of what he has in mind. Everything that he does offer is nothing but a cheap substitution. It's like paying Prada prices for a knock off bag where the stitches are all misaligned. That's not Prada.
I listened to a sermon yesterday that served as a good reminded for all friendships, not just marriages. There was one scripture that stood out to me the most- "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." Proverbs 17:17
Born for a time of adversity... Real family and friends are the ones that stick around. Real friends and family are the ones that bear your burdens with you so the weight of it isn't so heavy. Jesus was the ultimate weight bearer but we are designed to be in community with one another too. Do you step up when your friend is in need? Or just when it's merely convenient to be friends with them? The light and trivial stuff.
I've seen a recent outcry against fake friends and superficial relationships but where is the effort? Where is your effort? Are you putting in the time and the effort? Or are you happy to live in the superficial world that has been laid out before us? The one that will not stand the test of time. First and foremost our relationship with God needs to be in good order, constant communion with Him. Second, our family relationships and friendships will either fall into place to lay by the wayside. I know there comes this point of frustration where you've exhibited the effort necessary to sustain a relationship but the effort hasn't been reciprocated. What answer is there for that? Pray for them and forgive them. We all must live from a place of constant forgiveness. Many times the offense against us isn't on purpose but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
God is sovereign, if God is sovereign then our friendships are contingent upon who He allows in our life too. If a relationship is wildly out of balance as concerns effort maybe it's just a closed door and it's time to stop banging on it and walk away.
God is so good. His goodness is all around us if he are willing to be of sober mind and thank Him continually for His goodness. Don't settle for less than God's best in your life, that goes for everything that is available to us. Whether it's friends, things or places. There isn't anything that isn't from God that is worth having. You will always be left with a feeling of emptiness.
Have a blessed day friends.
There are things that we can't see that we're protected from, sometimes we find out what those things were and other times we don't. We are always in danger of some snare somewhere.
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
There are things God protects us from and there are pitfalls we can avoid but being aware and by praying continually. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
It sounds complicated, praying all the time. I think of it as talking to Jesus all day long, even if what you're saying is what you would deem boring. It's a relationship in which you share everything, even your silly little trivial thoughts. He already knows what you're thinking, the obedience and gesture of friendship is in saying those things out loud.
Jesus can even help you make decisions. "Lord, is this your will? What do you want me to do in this circumstance?" The Holy spirit knows when it's time to speak and when it's time to keep your mouth shut. If I didn't heed the Holy Spirits prompting I would say all kinds of things that weren't helpful or of use to others. It's not hard, it just requires a bit of obedience on our parts. Talking to God all day is far more real than the chair your sitting in. God is eternal. This world is temporal. That sums it up. And if Jesus Christ is your Lord and savior and you're going to spend eternity with Him, don't you want to talk to Him everyday- all day long? I know I do! I get distracted. There are so many things to distract me away from what is most important. But that is also part of the enemy's plan too.
When you're feeling that ancient spirit of getting over whelmed- know that readjusting your gaze back to God will diminish it. Life says- do everything NOW. God says- in My timing. Our enemy comes only to steal and kill and destroy. (John 10;10) Talking to God will help you discern what needs to be attended to immediately and what doesn't. It's amazing the things that will distract us away from what matters more.
We also live in an age where being social means logging into our social media account. Which doesn't supplement real human contact but in some cases, we've allowed it to. We have successfully substituted real friendships for "only at my convenience" and "just give me a quick rundown." Does that really replace face to face communication? No! We are accepting cheap substitutes for real friendships. Is social media nice to keep in touch with people who don't live in the same country or state as you? Absolutely, yes. But if it's a legitimate friendship, you're not keeping tabs on one another just by your status update and choreographed pictures that are posted.
Our enemy is quite crafty when it comes to the allure of what he has in mind. Everything that he does offer is nothing but a cheap substitution. It's like paying Prada prices for a knock off bag where the stitches are all misaligned. That's not Prada.
I listened to a sermon yesterday that served as a good reminded for all friendships, not just marriages. There was one scripture that stood out to me the most- "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." Proverbs 17:17
Born for a time of adversity... Real family and friends are the ones that stick around. Real friends and family are the ones that bear your burdens with you so the weight of it isn't so heavy. Jesus was the ultimate weight bearer but we are designed to be in community with one another too. Do you step up when your friend is in need? Or just when it's merely convenient to be friends with them? The light and trivial stuff.
I've seen a recent outcry against fake friends and superficial relationships but where is the effort? Where is your effort? Are you putting in the time and the effort? Or are you happy to live in the superficial world that has been laid out before us? The one that will not stand the test of time. First and foremost our relationship with God needs to be in good order, constant communion with Him. Second, our family relationships and friendships will either fall into place to lay by the wayside. I know there comes this point of frustration where you've exhibited the effort necessary to sustain a relationship but the effort hasn't been reciprocated. What answer is there for that? Pray for them and forgive them. We all must live from a place of constant forgiveness. Many times the offense against us isn't on purpose but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
God is sovereign, if God is sovereign then our friendships are contingent upon who He allows in our life too. If a relationship is wildly out of balance as concerns effort maybe it's just a closed door and it's time to stop banging on it and walk away.
God is so good. His goodness is all around us if he are willing to be of sober mind and thank Him continually for His goodness. Don't settle for less than God's best in your life, that goes for everything that is available to us. Whether it's friends, things or places. There isn't anything that isn't from God that is worth having. You will always be left with a feeling of emptiness.
Have a blessed day friends.
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