It's been a few days since we got home from our little adventure and if you follow along, you've likely seen some pictures. We left our house Wednesday afternoon without a plan, other than to get in the vicinity of where we needed to be on Thursday night. Most people that I know who have kids go to great lengths to plan out everything for a trip. We did not. It was part of the plan, to not have a plan, just a destination.
We made our way through the most beautiful parts of Wisconsin, the Western side of course. We stopped off for an impromptu visit with my husband's former college buddy in the LaCrosse area. That was a great way to carry on in our trip. I had long joked that these people he had spoke of were a figment of his imagination, so it was nice to finally meet them! This was also an opportunity for Judah to get out and walk around. He couldn't contain his excitement.
The bluffs and the winding roads were beautiful as we drove along, there was always something to look at. Both kids sat quietly in their seats in the back, looking out the window. I did however play the nunu and bottle dropping game with Lily, many many times. Crossing the Mississippi never ceases to amaze me! The sheer size and force of such a river leaves me in awe every time.
We arrived in Burnsville around dinner time, which was perfect because we were so hungry. Another opportunity for Judah to get out and stretch his legs, he stood in line to order our dinner with me. Arriving safely anywhere, to me, is a miracle all in it's own. Traveling along the freeway at 70+ miles per hour. Need I say more? When we arrived at our hotel with food bag in hand (Chipotle) I looked out to see the tall buildings of the city in the distance. I took in a deep breath and smiled, that was where we were headed on a mission tomorrow.
Our hotel room had one king size bed, which was going to be interesting but I knew we would manage. We were just happy to have a place to lay our head for the night and settle in to make it home for the evening. Lily slept like a log, which was unusual, she usually tossed around a lot while sleeping. So I actually woke up several time to place my hand on her to make sure she was still okay. I know, total mom move.
My husband was in charge of figuring the right hotel for the next day, I knew he would get it right. The room wasn't going to be available until 3 pm, so we had some time to kill. So when you're in Minnesota, where else can you go to kill some time other than the Mall of America? Oh my goodness, I had no idea! I felt like I was in candy-land or something! I was nearly moved to tears at the sight of it and we were there together as a family! We don't get out much together between the difficulty of pulling something off and with my husbands work schedule.
Both kids seemed to be just about as excited as I was, in spite of not quite understanding where we were or what we were doing there. As a side note, there was Moose garb everywhere, so I was one happy woman! We made our way to the food area (one of the many) and found another Chipotle. (We lived off of Chipotle for 3 days) We sat down in an area over looking the amusement park area, beside Lego land. While eating, I looked over at the kids, whose faces were fixed on the largest Transformer made from Legos. I just laughed, watching their expressions. At this point my husbands mom arrived to meet us, as she only lived 2 hours north of where we were. It was so good to see her and that she was able to join us. We walked around for a while, I took a lot of pictures and showed some general self restraint in the store that looked to me to be a "Everything has a Moose on it" store but really, it was a Minnesota store. Ha!
It was time to head to our downtown hotel, which just so happened to be right next door to where the conference was being held. That was another God thing. My husband set out on the trolly to get some bottled water. I went outside for a bit, Jake's Mom stayed with the kids. While I was outside, I learned that the main speaker at the conference was also staying in our hotel. It was at this point that I knew God was up to something. What are the chances?
I was ready to go back in but I felt the Spirit tell me, stay a little longer. So, I did. I watched people walk by, living their lives, going where ever it was they were going. About five minutes passed and two men pulled up, rather built men. They were wearing lanyards from the conference, they told the valet guy that they were there to pick someone up. All I could think was- really? Do I get to meet him? It was about 5 minutes later that I felt the Spirit tell me to go back in, even though I dragged my feet a bit, arguing that I hadn't seen him yet, I still obeyed. I rounded the corner to the elevator, lo and behold, there were the men I saw earlier. I struck up a conversation with them, as I usually do with just about anybody. I told them we were in town for the conference and that we had brought our daughter to be prayed over by Todd. I asked if he still does that. They told me if the opportunity presented itself. The elevator dinged and off the elevator strode Todd. I just laughed and said, Hey man, I was just talking about you! He stopped and looked at me and smiled. So, I just said, we'll see you at the conference tonight! He said great, Bless you!
I got in the elevator and shook my head laughing. The irony. I don't believe in coincidences and it was furthermore confirmation that God was indeed up to something big.
I must add this here, the night before we left, the Holy Spirit brought a scripture to my mind. "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory." Ephesians 3:20-21
This was the mindset going into this whole adventure. As Bill Johnson so lovingly puts it, we set out on an adventure seeking God, setting up an "ambush" for Him, anticipating that He would show up where ever we were. And It had already been evident that He was here. I told my mother in law what had just happened and of course, told my husband. I could feel the Spirit stirring within me even more. I couldn't be more excited about this conference!
Soon the time came to head over to the conference. It was loud, Lily hadn't napped, so naturally, she wasn't handling things very well. She eventually completely and utterly had a meltdown. My husband strolled around with her as much as he could. I took her for a turn and rocked her, calming her a bit. I put her back in the stroller, she finally fell asleep. I think we all sighed a breath of relief, as she had been crying and carrying on for sometime. Judah, was mostly happy the entire night, as he usually is.
We got to hear as much of the message as we could. It was a great message as it always is, it's truth and love and conviction all wrapped into one. I love hearing the hard stuff because it pushes me to forfeit another part of me that truly isn't mine to hang onto. I came into following Jesus with little understanding of what was to be achieved in me and through me. But after some time following Him, I've come to adore the pruning and the changes made. At the end of the day, if I'm walking in the Spirit, I have no regrets and my feelings haven't been hurt by anyone because my identity is in Him, not in what someone says about me. That's good stuff, right?
Sadly, Lily woke up screaming. My husband took her back out again, this time back to the hotel. He told me to text him when the healing prayer was to begin. The altar call was made, many many people went up to the front to accept Christ as their Savior. This always overwhelms me with a deep joy in my heart, moves me to tears every time! I text my husband that healing was next. They weren't making their way back just yet. I was standing holding Judah, praying and singing along with the throng of people. I told my mother in law that I hoped he got back over here with Lily soon because this was what we were here for.
Todd began to pray for healing for people, we all shouted out with all our might that these various afflictions be gone in Jesus name. It was beautiful to see and to feel the presence of God so heavily upon the place. Tears streamed down my face from a mixture of joy and sadness as Lily was not there. We sang aloud as a group, I was filled joy once more as I took account of the fact that I was there holding my son at a God filled conference. Feeling overwhelmed with gratitude and joy from God that I was privileged to do something like that. I felt so over joyed to be able to share something like that with my son. Though Lily and my husband weren't there, I felt nothing but love.
A man approached me to pray for my back, as I was sore from holding Judah for quite a while. I asked him to pray with me for Lily too. So he did, he shared a testimony about a little girl being restored from downs syndrome. Of course I cried because I know God still performs miracles. As we prayed together, I wept and claimed everything we prayed about in Jesus name.
I had text my husband that I needed him to come back because Judah was drunk with being tired and needed the stroller. I didn't say much when I saw him, I wasn't mad. I took to heart the things that were prayed for on Lily's behalf, I knew regardless of her presence there, God was working on her behalf. As we walked along, I had a feeling in my spirit I don't believe I had ever felt. I was wrecked, I was absolutely wrecked for God. He did something in my heart during this conference. It's not something I can put my finger on but something had changed yet again within me.
We got up to the hotel room and my husband asked very calmly, do you want to hear my story? He was smiling, I knew that smile.
Yes! Let's hear it.
"So, I made my way back over to the depot to pick you guys up and I took the back way in, as I usually do anywhere. I was there waiting for the elevator and ding, there was Todd with two guys." He smiled.
"Shut up!" I interrupted.
"I told him I was there for prayer for Lily. Todd said, I already know. I asked him if he wanted some background, he said no, that he already knew what she needed. So, he knelt down and prayed for total restoration over her body and something about cerebral. I got her out of the stroller and asked Lily if she wanted to touch Todd's face. Todd said, she already did touch my face. So, I explained to him, that means she loves you. People were beginning to gather around, so I told Todd he'd better get out of there. He gave me a hug and said, I love you man. And told me he would continue to pray for Lily." My husband was still smiling as he recalled his encounter.
"Well, what did you think of all of this? What did you do?" I probed.
"I laughed."
"Laughed?"
"Because God."
I knew what he meant by his statement, "Because God."
So, I thought I was wrecked after the conference, I was completely wrecked now. My husband and I went outside and talked some more, I laughed and sobbed at the same time, thinking about God's goodness and faithfulness. I can't help but well up just typing this for you to read dear friend.
Lily has improved since the encounter. It's all miraculous, whether it's radical or it's minor things. We've seen improvements on her focus, her tracking, her attention and seeing all around more joy in her demeanor. She's had "the gigs" more since we've been home.
My greatest take away from this entire experience, God is faithful but not always in the ways we think He will show up. I think He enjoys breaking us out of the boxes we've placed Him in or the list of ways He works. This testimony is a testament to this statement. God showed up. He gave us the faith to believe He would. Even the faith we have is a gift from Him! Our desire to see our daughter healed and made whole, is also a desire He placed in our hearts. That desire isn't there to tease us, it's there to push up to press into Him even harder for a breakthrough.
I can't exaggerate God's goodness and my mere words can't possibly even touch on the impact of His goodness and love but I try. Lily has two parents who won't quit, God placed that in us. He put that "fight" into us and He placed it in her too. So, friends, take this testimony however you wish to take it. I pray for strength and courage over your lives and your spirits. I pray for a fighting spirit within you. I pray you press into God no matter what the circumstances around you look like. I pray that you rest in His love and are enveloped by His peace. Seek Him, He's the only One that can make sense of this crazy, mixed up, broken down world we live in. Let's seek to expand His rule and His territory on earth. God bless you all.
Showing posts with label brokenness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brokenness. Show all posts
Monday, September 18, 2017
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
Fear
God seems to have made a habit of repeating Himself on one specific point, fear. It is said, "Do not fear," is repeated in the Bible 365 times. I Googled it, Google confirms that sentiment. There was something that God knew about fear that we don't. It's disabling. It's spirit crushing. It's ungodly. God didn't make light when He commanded us not to fear.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed; for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
God will not leave us nor forsake us in the day to day nor when we are in the midst of trials. There are times when we don't "feel" Him there. Just because you can't feel Him near, doesn't mean He isn't. It is a promise that He will never leave us. Feeling are temporary, they come and go like the wind but God is eternal. He is the same yesterday, today and forever(Hebrews 13:8).
Fear can be debilitating and crippling. Fear can keep us locked up in our homes, fulfilling the same tasks and never experiencing anything new. Fear can keep us from living out loud and living life to the full— which is one of the things that Jesus came here to do, give us life to the full (John 10:10) Jesus didn't come here to condone our many excuses why we can't get out there and live the life He paid a mighty price for. We will one day give an account for how we spent our time here on earth and sadly, no excuse will stand.
How do you know you're living in fear? The sneaky thing about fear is that it disguises itself as rationalization. It makes sense to you why you won't do the thing that was proposed to do but honestly, it's heavy laden with fear. It's merely an excuse.
Here's a few examples of fear. Fear said, don't get out and socialize, no one will be able to relate to you or your life anymore— since having a special needs child. Following the birth of Cookiepants, I had a serious case of "social anxiety disorder." It was awful. I had anxiety attacks just going to the grocery store. I needed so badly to get out of the house and get a break from what was going on at home. But there was another side of me that was petrified. Scared that others would want to talk to me and what would I say? I had nothing to talk about that wasn't something related to the new life that was dropped on my lap. I didn't want others to see the exhaustion that had taken up a permanent residence on my face. I didn't want to have to explain or share. I just wanted to stay in my home where life was about as unpredictable as life gets but at least it was strangely becoming more familiar.
Fear said: Give Cookiepants up for adoption following her birth. But love said; just love her. Adoption was never a consideration of mine but it was suggested to us as an option. I'm grateful every single day that we chose to just love her instead.
Fear says: Don't bother looking for a new home, just stay where it's familiar. This was something my husband and I had talked about. Our family expanded by +2, so we needed a new home desperately. So we searched not in a wildly committed sort of way but looked around. We found a beautiful home and applied to get it, then left it in the hands of our loving Father. Well, Daddy wanted a bigger brighter home for us too because we packed our things and moved away from everything that was fondly familiar.
Fear says; Get an abortion if you get pregnant before you get genetics testing done. Well, I did get pregnant before I had genetics testing done. And had I followed through with (the enemy's) fears "suggestion," I would not have the final jewel in my crown, my dear son.
Can you imagine? What would my life look like now had I allowed fear to drive my decisions? I would be less two children, living in the same place, doing the same things and wondering why my life feels so empty. My life would be empty of all the things that give it flavor. There is no forward movement in fear. Fear keeps your feet planted right where they are as if you have roots. We can go ahead and pat ourselves on the back, commending ourselves for all the things we do that we think are sufficient but it's not enough. Yeah but I do this, this and this... Yes but what about the things of life that you let pass you by?
What are we letting pass us by? The things of God. The things that make God smile. The risks we are willing to take for another human being. The time that we spend with others, rather than spending them alone in our own little selfish prison. God commanded us not to fear, God doesn't fear and we have the spirit of God living within us! How much more empowered can you get? Yes, the spirit of the living God resides within you if you have a relationship with His son Jesus Christ.
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma." Ephesians 5:1-2
"The spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" Romans 8:15
So you see, this fear that you have is nothing more than a tactic of the enemy and once recognized and it is already diminished. Get out there and live! Get out there and share the love of God with others. We don't get another shot at this thing called life. Its so sad when life is wasted. Don't grieve over that fact for too long, allow that to in part be your fuel to make the change not to live in fear anymore. What do you have to lose? You dignity? Your reputation? Your life savings? What, what is it? Do any of these things matter if it isn't pleasing to God? Heck no! Count it all loss unless it's been done for the Father. Nothing else is worth anything. Do everything as unto the Father.
But what am I supposed to do, you ask? A good place to start is picking something that is good-willed and good-natured that maybe scares the crud out of you. First, affirm that you will do this thing, whatever it is as an act of obedience to the Father and that you relinquish the spirit of fear in Jesus mighty name. Be dead set on it. Do not back down and do not lose heart. God is with you.
Maybe it's volunteering at church to greet people. Maybe it's getting back to going to church because the last church you went to put you off or upset you somehow. Try again, right? Maybe it's visiting a relative out of state that you haven't seen in ages. Whatever it is, do it with love and as an act of obedience toward God. You must first commit to doing something different, something that challenges you and maybe even scares you a bit. It's alright to do something, with hands shaking, heart pounding and knees shuddering. You still did it, you over came your fear! There are plenty of opportunities out there to drive out fear. God is constantly tossing us opportunities. Until we are even willing to get beyond our fear, we are playing catch with God in a baseball field while wearing a blindfold. Until we're willing to take the blindfold off and say yes to Him rather than fear, we'll miss the opportunities.
Oh friends... I can't even put into words right now how good God is and how very much He loves us in this very moment. There is nothing that can separate you from His love and there is nothing you can do that will make Him love you any less. He doesn't condemn, He corrects, there is a big different between those two words. God lovingly guides and corrects us, whereas the enemy will condemn and make us feel bad. Oh if only we would just believe that He is always with us, the freedom that lies just on the other side of that door is boundless. God's mind thinks and imagines in a much greater an expansive way than our mind can. He has the entire universe within His capable hands, every resource is within His grasp, to be used for His creativity. Just trust and believe Him, you will not be disappointed. God is indeed good, all the time.
Be blessed and bless others today dear friends, God never leaves our side. We are enabled to get out and love others the way He loves us.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed; for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
God will not leave us nor forsake us in the day to day nor when we are in the midst of trials. There are times when we don't "feel" Him there. Just because you can't feel Him near, doesn't mean He isn't. It is a promise that He will never leave us. Feeling are temporary, they come and go like the wind but God is eternal. He is the same yesterday, today and forever(Hebrews 13:8).
Fear can be debilitating and crippling. Fear can keep us locked up in our homes, fulfilling the same tasks and never experiencing anything new. Fear can keep us from living out loud and living life to the full— which is one of the things that Jesus came here to do, give us life to the full (John 10:10) Jesus didn't come here to condone our many excuses why we can't get out there and live the life He paid a mighty price for. We will one day give an account for how we spent our time here on earth and sadly, no excuse will stand.
How do you know you're living in fear? The sneaky thing about fear is that it disguises itself as rationalization. It makes sense to you why you won't do the thing that was proposed to do but honestly, it's heavy laden with fear. It's merely an excuse.
Here's a few examples of fear. Fear said, don't get out and socialize, no one will be able to relate to you or your life anymore— since having a special needs child. Following the birth of Cookiepants, I had a serious case of "social anxiety disorder." It was awful. I had anxiety attacks just going to the grocery store. I needed so badly to get out of the house and get a break from what was going on at home. But there was another side of me that was petrified. Scared that others would want to talk to me and what would I say? I had nothing to talk about that wasn't something related to the new life that was dropped on my lap. I didn't want others to see the exhaustion that had taken up a permanent residence on my face. I didn't want to have to explain or share. I just wanted to stay in my home where life was about as unpredictable as life gets but at least it was strangely becoming more familiar.
Fear said: Give Cookiepants up for adoption following her birth. But love said; just love her. Adoption was never a consideration of mine but it was suggested to us as an option. I'm grateful every single day that we chose to just love her instead.
Fear says: Don't bother looking for a new home, just stay where it's familiar. This was something my husband and I had talked about. Our family expanded by +2, so we needed a new home desperately. So we searched not in a wildly committed sort of way but looked around. We found a beautiful home and applied to get it, then left it in the hands of our loving Father. Well, Daddy wanted a bigger brighter home for us too because we packed our things and moved away from everything that was fondly familiar.
Fear says; Get an abortion if you get pregnant before you get genetics testing done. Well, I did get pregnant before I had genetics testing done. And had I followed through with (the enemy's) fears "suggestion," I would not have the final jewel in my crown, my dear son.
Can you imagine? What would my life look like now had I allowed fear to drive my decisions? I would be less two children, living in the same place, doing the same things and wondering why my life feels so empty. My life would be empty of all the things that give it flavor. There is no forward movement in fear. Fear keeps your feet planted right where they are as if you have roots. We can go ahead and pat ourselves on the back, commending ourselves for all the things we do that we think are sufficient but it's not enough. Yeah but I do this, this and this... Yes but what about the things of life that you let pass you by?
What are we letting pass us by? The things of God. The things that make God smile. The risks we are willing to take for another human being. The time that we spend with others, rather than spending them alone in our own little selfish prison. God commanded us not to fear, God doesn't fear and we have the spirit of God living within us! How much more empowered can you get? Yes, the spirit of the living God resides within you if you have a relationship with His son Jesus Christ.
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma." Ephesians 5:1-2
"The spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" Romans 8:15
So you see, this fear that you have is nothing more than a tactic of the enemy and once recognized and it is already diminished. Get out there and live! Get out there and share the love of God with others. We don't get another shot at this thing called life. Its so sad when life is wasted. Don't grieve over that fact for too long, allow that to in part be your fuel to make the change not to live in fear anymore. What do you have to lose? You dignity? Your reputation? Your life savings? What, what is it? Do any of these things matter if it isn't pleasing to God? Heck no! Count it all loss unless it's been done for the Father. Nothing else is worth anything. Do everything as unto the Father.
But what am I supposed to do, you ask? A good place to start is picking something that is good-willed and good-natured that maybe scares the crud out of you. First, affirm that you will do this thing, whatever it is as an act of obedience to the Father and that you relinquish the spirit of fear in Jesus mighty name. Be dead set on it. Do not back down and do not lose heart. God is with you.
Maybe it's volunteering at church to greet people. Maybe it's getting back to going to church because the last church you went to put you off or upset you somehow. Try again, right? Maybe it's visiting a relative out of state that you haven't seen in ages. Whatever it is, do it with love and as an act of obedience toward God. You must first commit to doing something different, something that challenges you and maybe even scares you a bit. It's alright to do something, with hands shaking, heart pounding and knees shuddering. You still did it, you over came your fear! There are plenty of opportunities out there to drive out fear. God is constantly tossing us opportunities. Until we are even willing to get beyond our fear, we are playing catch with God in a baseball field while wearing a blindfold. Until we're willing to take the blindfold off and say yes to Him rather than fear, we'll miss the opportunities.
Oh friends... I can't even put into words right now how good God is and how very much He loves us in this very moment. There is nothing that can separate you from His love and there is nothing you can do that will make Him love you any less. He doesn't condemn, He corrects, there is a big different between those two words. God lovingly guides and corrects us, whereas the enemy will condemn and make us feel bad. Oh if only we would just believe that He is always with us, the freedom that lies just on the other side of that door is boundless. God's mind thinks and imagines in a much greater an expansive way than our mind can. He has the entire universe within His capable hands, every resource is within His grasp, to be used for His creativity. Just trust and believe Him, you will not be disappointed. God is indeed good, all the time.
Be blessed and bless others today dear friends, God never leaves our side. We are enabled to get out and love others the way He loves us.
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Transparency
There is this lovely gift that you can bestow upon cherished persons around you, transparency. The true, to the core real you. Unhindered; un-polished, uninhibited, the real deal. Whether we realize it or not, we all need these kinds of relationships where we can just relax and be ourselves. We don't have to change our approach, the way we speak or guard the way we act.
Are these relationships difficult to cultivate? I would say they are. Just think about it, how many people are you able to completely be yourself around? Are there certain aspects of your character that you hide from people? Do you speak in a certain way with others? It's odd how our demeanor changes around certain people... Are we trying to impress them? Are we hiding?
I know from personal experience I hide information about myself from certain persons because I know all they'll do with it is dissect it and judge and magnify any fault they can find. There are plenty of people out there like that. So, I can understand that. It seems we're better off disassociating ourselves with persons like that. Bad company corrupts good character.
But how many people do we just keep it real around? And what is it that makes those people who are in your in crowd, in? Is there a such this as being a good friend anymore? It seems that with the age of technology, there is a death within friendships. The death of connectivity and being real. We can all sit behind a computer and be whoever we want to be with only virtual backlash. But are we really who we say we are when the rubber hit the pavement?
When tragedy strikes there is always an out pouring of condolences toward the persons affected but how many are willing to get their hands dirty?
Are we as a people willing to lay our judgments and pretenses aside and allow others to be genuine around us? Or are we going to keep them on high alert but watching them speculatively from beneath our brow? Humans were meant to live from a place of community and one-ness. We were meant to help each other out, not only humans but other beings too.
We as a people should be concerned with cultivating genuine relationships and friendships, not just who is beneficial to us at certain times. -Who can get us what we need, when we think we need it. There have to be people in our lives who we can be completely transparent around, the ones who will love us through the tears and the pain. The ones who will rejoice when we rejoice, because our victory is like a victory for them. Our spouse should be that person and if they're not, work on that. Our best friend should be that person, work on that. If you're feeling that these leading people in your life are no longer the people you can be transparent around, sit down and have a very casual conversation with them. Don't accuse, just share...
More over, the number one person we should be transparent with is God. He already knows anyhow, so you might as well do your best to put it into words. And when you have no words, mumbling and tears will suffice because the Holy Spirit can interpret for you. God loves us more than we could ever imagine, no matter how far fallen we think we are, there is always a way back and that way is Jesus. I know this is fact because I've seen the proof in my own life. If there is ever a relationship aside from our human, day in and day out relationships to nurture, it's our relationship with God. God has seen and created the beginning and He can also see the end. God is the One we can always, no matter how ugly, keep it real with.
But I do know, we were meant to have deep and meaningful relationships with others while were here on this planet too. Otherwise, we wouldn't have a longing for it. That is a longing only our Creator could place within us.
So, if you need to make a change in this area of your life, your relationships are lacking that certain genuine-ness, YOU be the change. Give it a go. Listen to the people in your life and don't listen just long enough to assemble your own reply. Listen just to hear them. Reach out to others, they may be in need of a friend and you have no idea what kind of place they're in. Stop judging! Please, just stop. Don't think you're better than someone because you don't do the "bad" thing they do, guess what, that bad thing they do, is just different from the bad things you do. In other words, don't judge someone because they sin differently than you do. And don't for a minute think that you are without sin, if you do you're only fooling yourself. We can all hop down off our high horses and love others freely and genuinely.
"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8
We must be the change that we wish to see in the world around us, it has to be within us before it is manifested elsewhere. If we're not willing to love others with abandon, when we are capable, why would it be so for us? Who are we that we should be pampered and groveled after?
"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3
"If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is a sin for them." James 4:17
Those are the last bits I will leave you with... Gosh, I love the Word of God, it speaks so true and blunt and to the point! You can't find wisdom like this anywhere else!
Be the change friends, bless someone today merely by just being love to them. If Christ is your savior, I know you've got it in you.
Be blessed.
Are these relationships difficult to cultivate? I would say they are. Just think about it, how many people are you able to completely be yourself around? Are there certain aspects of your character that you hide from people? Do you speak in a certain way with others? It's odd how our demeanor changes around certain people... Are we trying to impress them? Are we hiding?
I know from personal experience I hide information about myself from certain persons because I know all they'll do with it is dissect it and judge and magnify any fault they can find. There are plenty of people out there like that. So, I can understand that. It seems we're better off disassociating ourselves with persons like that. Bad company corrupts good character.
But how many people do we just keep it real around? And what is it that makes those people who are in your in crowd, in? Is there a such this as being a good friend anymore? It seems that with the age of technology, there is a death within friendships. The death of connectivity and being real. We can all sit behind a computer and be whoever we want to be with only virtual backlash. But are we really who we say we are when the rubber hit the pavement?
When tragedy strikes there is always an out pouring of condolences toward the persons affected but how many are willing to get their hands dirty?
Are we as a people willing to lay our judgments and pretenses aside and allow others to be genuine around us? Or are we going to keep them on high alert but watching them speculatively from beneath our brow? Humans were meant to live from a place of community and one-ness. We were meant to help each other out, not only humans but other beings too.
We as a people should be concerned with cultivating genuine relationships and friendships, not just who is beneficial to us at certain times. -Who can get us what we need, when we think we need it. There have to be people in our lives who we can be completely transparent around, the ones who will love us through the tears and the pain. The ones who will rejoice when we rejoice, because our victory is like a victory for them. Our spouse should be that person and if they're not, work on that. Our best friend should be that person, work on that. If you're feeling that these leading people in your life are no longer the people you can be transparent around, sit down and have a very casual conversation with them. Don't accuse, just share...
More over, the number one person we should be transparent with is God. He already knows anyhow, so you might as well do your best to put it into words. And when you have no words, mumbling and tears will suffice because the Holy Spirit can interpret for you. God loves us more than we could ever imagine, no matter how far fallen we think we are, there is always a way back and that way is Jesus. I know this is fact because I've seen the proof in my own life. If there is ever a relationship aside from our human, day in and day out relationships to nurture, it's our relationship with God. God has seen and created the beginning and He can also see the end. God is the One we can always, no matter how ugly, keep it real with.
But I do know, we were meant to have deep and meaningful relationships with others while were here on this planet too. Otherwise, we wouldn't have a longing for it. That is a longing only our Creator could place within us.
So, if you need to make a change in this area of your life, your relationships are lacking that certain genuine-ness, YOU be the change. Give it a go. Listen to the people in your life and don't listen just long enough to assemble your own reply. Listen just to hear them. Reach out to others, they may be in need of a friend and you have no idea what kind of place they're in. Stop judging! Please, just stop. Don't think you're better than someone because you don't do the "bad" thing they do, guess what, that bad thing they do, is just different from the bad things you do. In other words, don't judge someone because they sin differently than you do. And don't for a minute think that you are without sin, if you do you're only fooling yourself. We can all hop down off our high horses and love others freely and genuinely.
"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8
We must be the change that we wish to see in the world around us, it has to be within us before it is manifested elsewhere. If we're not willing to love others with abandon, when we are capable, why would it be so for us? Who are we that we should be pampered and groveled after?
"Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3
"If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is a sin for them." James 4:17
Those are the last bits I will leave you with... Gosh, I love the Word of God, it speaks so true and blunt and to the point! You can't find wisdom like this anywhere else!
Be the change friends, bless someone today merely by just being love to them. If Christ is your savior, I know you've got it in you.
Be blessed.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
When your heart breaks
I used to think I was a nice person when I was younger... I was nice to the people I knew, I would give them the shirt off my back if they needed it. Paying for lunch was my pleasure. I wasn't afraid to smile at strangers. I'd watch the news and hear stories but would carry on with my life. I figured as long as it wasn't near me or wasn't anyone I knew, it was almost as though it wasn't real. It was on TV, it didn't feel real. I avoided thinking about the pain, I didn't want to. Who wants to feel pain? But the truth was, my heart was stone. Until I met Jesus my heart was made out of stone. He is the only one who can give us a new heart, one that is soft and kind. No matter how good we think we are, we have no shot at anything perceived as goodness unless Jesus is our savior. And even then, the goodness that does come from us is in fact His goodness radiating from us.
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26
My heart broke in an irreparable way. Sure, I don't walk around with my head hung low, sobbing every day anymore. God soothed and mended my broken heart but the crack that occurred 3 years ago is still there. It doesn't hurt the way it used to. Now, I feel, mostly love pours forth from it. It wouldn't have been possible without God, this I assure you.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 146:3
I absolutely counted on that scripture to become a reality in my life and eventually, after I stopped trying to force myself to live again, that scripture became a reality to me. It wasn't just some quaint fragment that someone once shared with me. It was something I read and was written on the tablet of my heart. I prayed and poured over it. I begged that it would become real to me because I didn't want to be lost in the darkness anymore. And once I began to reemerge again, I felt the Spirit tell me that the crack in my heart that I suffered would remain because that was where His light would shine through. I had two choices; be bitter or let His light shine through- through my deepest pain. Here I am. I'm not bitter. I don't "feel" broken. My heart swells with His love and my own wonderment. He is my strength. He is my peace. He is my rock and my salvation.
I often look back across this journey with Cookiepants and dote upon the work of God in our lives. The utter lengths we've been taken to and the lessons we've learned from them and the growth that we've yielded. But none of this would have been made possible had our hearts not been stripped bare of all the "worldly overgrowth." Whether it's the correct answer or not, I've come to the determination that this was necessary. God is still sovereign. He is still on the throne. He will birth good from this, He already has.
I look into Cookiepants' eyes and wonder what she sees? Does she see her mom? Or am I just some nice lady that kisses her and tells her she's beautiful? Does she know that I love her? Does she know she's safe here with us and that we'll care for her even unto our last breath? Will she stay here for a while longer? These are some hard questions that pass through my mind, often. I try not to ask them or even entertain them in my mind because they're far more painful than anything any parent truly wants to think about. They often cause me to cry, from deep within the crack in my heart- the one that never fully healed but yet, is mended. God is there. God is here. I've often prayed that when Cookiepants is quietly giggling to herself, the angels are telling her about her life here, in a way that she understands. I pray that they tell her how much we love her and that I feel honored to be her mom. Oh when those bright blue-green eyes look up at me, I feel nothing but love. A love like no other I've ever felt...
So you see, the break is still there. God has filled it in and continues to, in a way only He can. I'm happy to let Him, He will do a far better job than I ever could. One last bit of encouragement—
"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." James 4:8
He will. I assure you of this one thing. Earnestly seek Him in your brokenness and He will be there.
We live in a fallen world, where fallen things happen. But God is good, all the time. There is nothing about Him that isn't good. We often don't understand the things that happen in the world, I certainly don't. I don't love this world, I love many people who are passing through here... But there is a place where things are all made right. I yearn for it. I long for it. There is an "alarm" that often goes off within me, reminding me of how wrong the world is... I am grateful this isn't my home. But Jesus is making a place for me and for anyone else who trusts in Him. I will be elated when-
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
One day dear friends... One day.
Be a blessing to someone today, they need it.
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26
My heart broke in an irreparable way. Sure, I don't walk around with my head hung low, sobbing every day anymore. God soothed and mended my broken heart but the crack that occurred 3 years ago is still there. It doesn't hurt the way it used to. Now, I feel, mostly love pours forth from it. It wouldn't have been possible without God, this I assure you.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 146:3
I absolutely counted on that scripture to become a reality in my life and eventually, after I stopped trying to force myself to live again, that scripture became a reality to me. It wasn't just some quaint fragment that someone once shared with me. It was something I read and was written on the tablet of my heart. I prayed and poured over it. I begged that it would become real to me because I didn't want to be lost in the darkness anymore. And once I began to reemerge again, I felt the Spirit tell me that the crack in my heart that I suffered would remain because that was where His light would shine through. I had two choices; be bitter or let His light shine through- through my deepest pain. Here I am. I'm not bitter. I don't "feel" broken. My heart swells with His love and my own wonderment. He is my strength. He is my peace. He is my rock and my salvation.
I often look back across this journey with Cookiepants and dote upon the work of God in our lives. The utter lengths we've been taken to and the lessons we've learned from them and the growth that we've yielded. But none of this would have been made possible had our hearts not been stripped bare of all the "worldly overgrowth." Whether it's the correct answer or not, I've come to the determination that this was necessary. God is still sovereign. He is still on the throne. He will birth good from this, He already has.
I look into Cookiepants' eyes and wonder what she sees? Does she see her mom? Or am I just some nice lady that kisses her and tells her she's beautiful? Does she know that I love her? Does she know she's safe here with us and that we'll care for her even unto our last breath? Will she stay here for a while longer? These are some hard questions that pass through my mind, often. I try not to ask them or even entertain them in my mind because they're far more painful than anything any parent truly wants to think about. They often cause me to cry, from deep within the crack in my heart- the one that never fully healed but yet, is mended. God is there. God is here. I've often prayed that when Cookiepants is quietly giggling to herself, the angels are telling her about her life here, in a way that she understands. I pray that they tell her how much we love her and that I feel honored to be her mom. Oh when those bright blue-green eyes look up at me, I feel nothing but love. A love like no other I've ever felt...
So you see, the break is still there. God has filled it in and continues to, in a way only He can. I'm happy to let Him, He will do a far better job than I ever could. One last bit of encouragement—
"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." James 4:8
He will. I assure you of this one thing. Earnestly seek Him in your brokenness and He will be there.
We live in a fallen world, where fallen things happen. But God is good, all the time. There is nothing about Him that isn't good. We often don't understand the things that happen in the world, I certainly don't. I don't love this world, I love many people who are passing through here... But there is a place where things are all made right. I yearn for it. I long for it. There is an "alarm" that often goes off within me, reminding me of how wrong the world is... I am grateful this isn't my home. But Jesus is making a place for me and for anyone else who trusts in Him. I will be elated when-
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
One day dear friends... One day.
Be a blessing to someone today, they need it.
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