Thursday, October 4, 2018

I needed a place to go today.

I needed a place to go today, not a place to air all my grievances but a place where I could just feel safe to share what is on my heart and on my mind today. Somewhere, someone would understand... So, naturally I turn to the Holy Spirit, who can decipher even my deep signs and groans.

I know I have not written here in a very long time but it has actually been a really difficult year, plagued with many lengthy hospital visits for Cookiepants. She is home, we got home again this past Saturday. We had such high hopes for this last visit, a surgery that in theory would have alleviatedI some of her digestive discomfort. But here we are staring into the face of the same beast that has troubled her since birth, manifesting itself as uncontrollable screaming and punching and being generally inconsolable.

I cry out to the Holy Spirit for His help and His guidance every single day. Whom else should I cry out to but my Father? He is filled with all knowledge and wisdom and is the only one who has what I need. Whether it be comfort or wisdom, He has it. And honestly, I just like spending time with Him. He gets me.

Being a special needs parent has not gotten easier. You just get to a place where you are pushed beyond your, "never will I ever's" and you fix your messy bun, refill your tea mug with the strongest tea you can import and you deal. You stare into the face of all the things you never wanted to do, all of the things no parent ever dreams about doing. In our case, many days have been an especially tailored nightmare. We do our best every single day but some days it just isn't enough.

While we were in the hospital, I prayed and asked God what He wanted me to do. The Holy Spirit whispered, "Sara, you have the ability to bring a bit of heaven with you where ever you go." So I took Him at His word and viewed the hospital as not just somewhere people go to get better (hopefully) but as a Holy Spirit playground. I saw opportunities all over the place to pray for others and lay hands on people in prayer. Back in July when there was the chance that we could have lost Lily, I wasn't going to let her very poor condition stop me from being hopeful for her and for others. I cheered when I saw children going home, knowing my child was going to be there for at least another 10 days. I celebrated the work I saw God doing all over that place. I celebrated when Lily broke through her poor diagnosis and began getting better again. I celebrated when her partial blockage was discovered in her stomach because at least we knew about one more missing piece to the puzzle.

There continues to be so much that we just don't know. This week, in spite of being fed into her intestines, she is still cranky and angry. It would be so easy for me to feel sorry for us and feel defeated but I am just not going to. We have come too far and God has given us too many promises in His Word to neglect even a single one, though things look quite grim today. I don't know what is wrong, I do not know how to fix it but I know that He does.

We are tired. This has been an epic-ally long battle where the fires continue to rage on. I am only one woman but fortunately, I have an entire army standing behind me, because my Father tells me so. No matter how this all shakes out, we will not be defeated, we will not have lost and I will not stop serving my God.

For now, we will hold tight to His promises because they are quite literally all that we have. We have done everything medically that there has been offered to do. Special needs parenting often translates to waiting, a lot. And so we wait. We wait for God to carry out His promises, for the things decreed over our lives to come to fruition, for the prophesies to be made manifest. We await the move of God, because nothing and no one can stop the will of God for our lives, not even the enemy of our souls. God's will is ALWAYS; wholeness, wellness and peace for our body, mind and soul. Nothing less. What I see before me is irrelevant. What God says is what is the truth. That is all I need to know. And that is where I will stay. 

Monday, September 18, 2017

The goodness of God, a testimony

     It's been a few days since we got home from our little adventure and if you follow along, you've likely seen some pictures. We left our house Wednesday afternoon without a plan, other than to get in the vicinity of where we needed to be on Thursday night. Most people that I know who have kids go to great lengths to plan out everything for a trip. We did not. It was part of the plan, to not have a plan, just a destination.

   We made our way through the most beautiful parts of Wisconsin, the Western side of course. We stopped off for an impromptu visit with my husband's former college buddy in the LaCrosse area. That was a great way to carry on in our trip. I had long joked that these people he had spoke of were a figment of his imagination, so it was nice to finally meet them! This was also an opportunity for Judah to get out and walk around. He couldn't contain his excitement.

   The bluffs and the winding roads were beautiful as we drove along, there was always something to look at. Both kids sat quietly in their seats in the back, looking out the window. I did however play the nunu and bottle dropping game with Lily, many many times. Crossing the Mississippi never ceases to amaze me! The sheer size and force of such a river leaves me in awe every time.

     We arrived in Burnsville around dinner time, which was perfect because we were so hungry. Another opportunity for Judah to get out and stretch his legs, he stood in line to order our dinner with me. Arriving safely anywhere, to me, is a miracle all in it's own. Traveling along the freeway at 70+ miles per hour. Need I say more? When we arrived at our hotel with food bag in hand (Chipotle) I looked out to see the tall buildings of the city in the distance. I took in a deep breath and smiled, that was where we were headed on a mission tomorrow.

   Our hotel room had one king size bed, which was going to be interesting but I knew we would manage. We were just happy to have a place to lay our head for the night and settle in to make it home for the evening. Lily slept like a log, which was unusual, she usually tossed around a lot while sleeping. So I actually woke up several time to place my hand on her to make sure she was still okay. I know, total mom move.

    My husband was in charge of figuring the right hotel for the next day, I knew he would get it right. The room wasn't going to be available until 3 pm, so we had some time to kill. So when you're in Minnesota, where else can you go to kill some time other than the Mall of America? Oh my goodness, I had no idea! I felt like I was in candy-land or something! I was nearly moved to tears at the sight of it and we were there together as a family! We don't get out much together between the difficulty of pulling something off and with my husbands work schedule.

   Both kids seemed to be just about as excited as I was, in spite of not quite understanding where we were or what we were doing there. As a side note, there was Moose garb everywhere, so I was one happy woman! We made our way to the food area (one of the many) and found another Chipotle. (We lived off of Chipotle for 3 days) We sat down in an area over looking the amusement park area, beside Lego land. While eating, I looked over at the kids, whose faces were fixed on the largest Transformer made from Legos. I just laughed, watching their expressions. At this point my husbands mom arrived to meet us, as she only lived 2 hours north of where we were. It was so good to see her and that she was able to join us. We walked around for a while, I took a lot of pictures and showed some general self restraint in the store that looked to me to be a "Everything has a Moose on it" store but really, it was a Minnesota store. Ha!

    It was time to head to our downtown hotel, which just so happened to be right next door to where the conference was being held. That was another God thing. My husband set out on the trolly to get some bottled water. I went outside for a bit, Jake's Mom stayed with the kids. While I was outside, I learned that the main speaker at the conference was also staying in our hotel. It was at this point that I knew God was up to something. What are the chances?

    I was ready to go back in but I felt the Spirit tell me, stay a little longer. So, I did. I watched people walk by, living their lives, going where ever it was they were going. About five minutes passed and two men pulled up, rather built men. They were wearing lanyards from the conference, they told the valet guy that they were there to pick someone up. All I could think was- really? Do I get to meet him? It was about 5 minutes later that I felt the Spirit tell me to go back in, even though I dragged my feet a bit, arguing that I hadn't seen him yet, I still obeyed. I rounded the corner to the elevator, lo and behold, there were the men I saw earlier. I struck up a conversation with them, as I usually do with just about anybody. I told them we were in town for the conference and that we had brought our daughter to be prayed over by Todd. I asked if he still does that. They told me if the opportunity presented itself. The elevator dinged and off the elevator strode Todd. I just laughed and said, Hey man, I was just talking about you! He stopped and looked at me and smiled. So, I just said, we'll see you at the conference tonight! He said great, Bless you!

   I got in the elevator and shook my head laughing. The irony. I don't believe in coincidences and it was furthermore confirmation that God was indeed up to something big.

   I must add this here, the night before we left, the Holy Spirit brought a scripture to my mind. "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory." Ephesians 3:20-21

    This was the mindset going into this whole adventure. As Bill Johnson so lovingly puts it, we set out on an adventure seeking God, setting up an "ambush" for Him, anticipating that He would show up where ever we were. And It had already been evident that He was here. I told my mother in law what had just happened and of course, told my husband. I could feel the Spirit stirring within me even more. I couldn't be more excited about this conference!

    Soon the time came to head over to the conference. It was loud, Lily hadn't napped, so naturally, she wasn't handling things very well. She eventually completely and utterly had a meltdown. My husband strolled around with her as much as he could. I took her for a turn and rocked her, calming her a bit. I put her back in the stroller, she finally fell asleep. I think we all sighed a breath of relief, as she had been crying and carrying on for sometime. Judah, was mostly happy the entire night, as he usually is.

   We got to hear as much of the message as we could. It was a great message as it always is, it's truth and love and conviction all wrapped into one. I love hearing the hard stuff because it pushes me to forfeit another part of me that truly isn't mine to hang onto. I came into following Jesus with little understanding of what was to be achieved in me and through me. But after some time following Him, I've come to adore the pruning and the changes made. At the end of the day, if I'm walking in the Spirit, I have no regrets and my feelings haven't been hurt by anyone because my identity is in Him, not in what someone says about me. That's good stuff, right?

   Sadly, Lily woke up screaming. My husband took her back out again, this time back to the hotel. He told me to text him when the healing prayer was to begin. The altar call was made, many many people went up to the front to accept Christ as their Savior. This always overwhelms me with a deep joy in my heart, moves me to tears every time! I text my husband that healing was next. They weren't making their way back just yet. I was standing holding Judah, praying and singing along with the throng of people. I told my mother in law that I hoped he got back over here with Lily soon because this was what we were here for.

   Todd began to pray for healing for people, we all shouted out with all our might that these various afflictions be gone in Jesus name. It was beautiful to see and to feel the presence of God so heavily upon the place. Tears streamed down my face from a mixture of joy and sadness as Lily was not there. We sang aloud as a group, I was filled joy once more as I took account of the fact that I was there holding my son at a God filled conference. Feeling overwhelmed with gratitude and joy from God that I was privileged to do something like that. I felt so over joyed to be able to share something like that with my son. Though Lily and my husband weren't there, I felt nothing but love.

   A man approached me to pray for my back, as I was sore from holding Judah for quite a while. I asked him to pray with me for Lily too. So he did, he shared a testimony about a little girl being restored from downs syndrome. Of course I cried because I know God still performs miracles. As we prayed together, I wept and claimed everything we prayed about in Jesus name.

   I had text my husband that I needed him to come back because Judah was drunk with being tired and needed the stroller. I didn't say much when I saw him, I wasn't mad. I took to heart the things that were prayed for on Lily's behalf, I knew regardless of her presence there, God was working on her behalf. As we walked along, I had a feeling in my spirit I don't believe I had ever felt. I was wrecked, I was absolutely wrecked for God. He did something in my heart during this conference. It's not something I can put my finger on but something had changed yet again within me.

   We got up to the hotel room and my husband asked very calmly, do you want to hear my story? He was smiling, I knew that smile.
   Yes! Let's hear it.
    "So, I made my way back over to the depot to pick you guys up and I took the back way in, as I usually do anywhere. I was there waiting for the elevator and ding, there was Todd with two guys." He smiled.
    "Shut up!" I interrupted.
    "I told him I was there for prayer for Lily. Todd said, I already know. I asked him if he wanted some background, he said no, that he already knew what she needed. So, he knelt down and prayed for total restoration over her body and something about cerebral. I got her out of the stroller and asked Lily if she wanted to touch Todd's face. Todd said, she already did touch my face. So, I explained to him, that means she loves you. People were beginning to gather around, so I told Todd he'd better get out of there. He gave me a hug and said, I love you man. And told me he would continue to pray for Lily." My husband was still smiling as he recalled his encounter.

   "Well, what did you think of all of this? What did you do?" I probed.

    "I laughed."

    "Laughed?"

    "Because God."

   I knew what he meant by his statement, "Because God."
  So, I thought I was wrecked after the conference, I was completely wrecked now. My husband and I went outside and talked some more, I laughed and sobbed at the same time, thinking about God's goodness and faithfulness. I can't help but well up just typing this for you to read dear friend.

   Lily has improved since the encounter. It's all miraculous, whether it's radical or it's minor things. We've seen improvements on her focus, her tracking, her attention and seeing all around more joy in her demeanor. She's had "the gigs" more since we've been home.

   My greatest take away from this entire experience, God is faithful but not always in the ways we think He will show up. I think He enjoys breaking us out of the boxes we've placed Him in or the list of ways He works. This testimony is a testament to this statement. God showed up. He gave us the faith to believe He would. Even the faith we have is a gift from Him! Our desire to see our daughter healed and made whole, is also a desire He placed in our hearts. That desire isn't there to tease us, it's there to push up to press into Him even harder for a breakthrough.

       I can't exaggerate God's goodness and my mere words can't possibly even touch on the impact of His goodness and love but I try. Lily has two parents who won't quit, God placed that in us. He put that "fight" into us and He placed it in her too. So, friends, take this testimony however you wish to take it. I pray for strength and courage over your lives and your spirits. I pray for a fighting spirit within you. I pray you press into God no matter what the circumstances around you look like. I pray that you rest in His love and are enveloped by His peace. Seek Him, He's the only One that can make sense of this crazy, mixed up, broken down world we live in. Let's seek to expand His rule and His territory on earth. God bless you all.

 

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Fear

      God seems to have made a habit of repeating Himself on one specific point, fear. It is said, "Do not fear," is repeated in the Bible 365 times. I Googled it, Google confirms that sentiment. There was something that God knew about fear that we don't. It's disabling. It's spirit crushing. It's ungodly. God didn't make light when He commanded us not to fear.

    "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed; for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

    God will not leave us nor forsake us in the day to day nor when we are in the midst of trials. There are times when we don't "feel" Him there. Just because you can't feel Him near, doesn't mean He isn't. It is a promise that He will never leave us. Feeling are temporary, they come and go like the wind but God is eternal. He is the same yesterday, today and forever(Hebrews 13:8).

     Fear can be debilitating and crippling. Fear can keep us locked up in our homes, fulfilling the same tasks and never experiencing anything new. Fear can keep us from living out loud and living life to the full— which is one of the things that Jesus came here to do, give us life to the full (John 10:10) Jesus didn't come here to condone our many excuses why we can't get out there and live the life He paid a mighty price for. We will one day give an account for how we spent our time here on earth and sadly, no excuse will stand.

    How do you know you're living in fear? The sneaky thing about fear is that it disguises itself as rationalization. It makes sense to you why you won't do the thing that was proposed to do but honestly, it's heavy laden with fear. It's merely an excuse.

    Here's a few examples of fear. Fear said, don't get out and socialize, no one will be able to relate to you or your life anymore— since having a special needs child. Following the birth of Cookiepants, I had a serious case of "social anxiety disorder." It was awful. I had anxiety attacks just going to the grocery store. I needed so badly to get out of the house and get a break from what was going on at home. But there was another side of me that was petrified. Scared that others would want to talk to me and what would I say? I had nothing to talk about that wasn't something related to the new life that was dropped on my lap. I didn't want others to see the exhaustion that had taken up a permanent residence on my face. I didn't want to have to explain or share. I just wanted to stay in my home where life was about as unpredictable as life gets but at least it was strangely becoming more familiar.

    Fear said: Give Cookiepants up for adoption following her birth. But love said; just love her. Adoption was never a consideration of mine but it was suggested to us as an option. I'm grateful every single day that we chose to just love her instead.

   Fear says: Don't bother looking for a new home, just stay where it's familiar. This was something my husband and I had talked about. Our family expanded by +2, so we needed a new home desperately. So we searched not in a wildly committed sort of way but looked around. We found a beautiful home and applied to get it, then left it in the hands of our loving Father. Well, Daddy wanted a bigger brighter home for us too because we packed our things and moved away from everything that was fondly familiar.

   Fear says; Get an abortion if you get pregnant before you get genetics testing done. Well, I did get pregnant before I had genetics testing done. And had I followed through with (the enemy's) fears "suggestion," I would not have the final jewel in my crown, my dear son.

    Can you imagine? What would my life look like now had I allowed fear to drive my decisions? I would be less two children, living in the same place, doing the same things and wondering why my life feels so empty. My life would be empty of all the things that give it flavor. There is no forward movement in fear. Fear keeps your feet planted right where they are as if you have roots. We can go ahead and pat ourselves on the back, commending ourselves for all the things we do that we think are sufficient but it's not enough. Yeah but I do this, this and this... Yes but what about the things of life that you let pass you by?

    What are we letting pass us by? The things of God. The things that make God smile. The risks we are willing to take for another human being. The time that we spend with others, rather than spending them alone in our own little selfish prison. God commanded us not to fear, God doesn't fear and we have the spirit of God living within us! How much more empowered can you get? Yes, the spirit of the living God resides within you if you have a relationship with His son Jesus Christ.

   "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma." Ephesians 5:1-2

   "The spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.'" Romans 8:15

     So you see, this fear that you have is nothing more than a tactic of the enemy and once recognized and it is already diminished. Get out there and live! Get out there and share the love of God with others. We don't get another shot at this thing called life. Its so sad when life is wasted. Don't grieve over that fact for too long, allow that to in part be your fuel to make the change not to live in fear anymore. What do you have to lose? You dignity? Your reputation? Your life savings? What, what is it? Do any of these things matter if it isn't pleasing to God? Heck no! Count it all loss unless it's been done for the Father. Nothing else is worth anything. Do everything as unto the Father.

    But what am I supposed to do, you ask? A good place to start is picking something that is good-willed and good-natured that maybe scares the crud out of you. First, affirm that you will do this thing, whatever it is as an act of obedience to the Father and that you relinquish the spirit of fear in Jesus mighty name. Be dead set on it. Do not back down and do not lose heart. God is with you.

    Maybe it's volunteering at church to greet people. Maybe it's getting back to going to church because the last church you went to put you off or upset you somehow. Try again, right? Maybe it's visiting a relative out of state that you haven't seen in ages. Whatever it is, do it with love and as an act of obedience toward God. You must first commit to doing something different, something that challenges you and maybe even scares you a bit. It's alright to do something, with hands shaking, heart pounding and knees shuddering. You still did it, you over came your fear! There are plenty of opportunities out there to drive out fear. God is constantly tossing us opportunities. Until we are even willing to get beyond our fear, we are playing catch with God in a baseball field while wearing a blindfold. Until we're willing to take the blindfold off and say yes to Him rather than fear, we'll miss the opportunities.

   Oh friends... I can't even put into words right now how good God is and how very much He loves us in this very moment. There is nothing that can separate you from His love and there is nothing you can do that will make Him love you any less. He doesn't condemn, He corrects, there is a big different between those two words. God lovingly guides and corrects us, whereas the enemy will condemn and make us feel bad. Oh if only we would just believe that He is always with us, the freedom that lies just on the other side of that door is boundless. God's mind thinks and imagines in a much greater an expansive way than our mind can. He has the entire universe within His capable hands, every resource is within His grasp, to be used for His creativity. Just trust and believe Him, you will not be disappointed. God is indeed good, all the time.

    Be blessed and bless others today dear friends, God never leaves our side. We are enabled to get out and love others the way He loves us.
   

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Silence

     Sometimes silence is birthed through discontentment. Shutting things down because what you see around you isn't what you want to carry with you. If you're not careful, it becomes like a shadow or a carefully placed residue on you.

    Have you ever had that happen? Spent time with someone who was in a horrid mood and when you departed from their presence, you felt amiss— to say the least? I don't want that in my life right now and I certainly don't need it either. I'm on a mission. And this mission will not be hindered or stopped.

    I've been taking an extended break, for the most part from social media. I'm still on Instagram and Pinterest because those places aren't overcome with disparity and wickedness. The fun has, in my eyes, for the most part been removed from other social media outlets. I'm not sad about my recent removal, It's been quite enlightening. I knew God was going to have a plan for this period of time and He most certainly has been faithful— as expected.

    Everyday is nothing short of miraculous, if you're looking for it. We woke up again today. We have another chance. Isn't that enough?

    I think of the movie Gladiator, where Maximus slays in the coliseum and yells to the crowd, "Are you not entertained?" Because they weren't. They were borderline bored. That's us, as a people. What entertains us? We seek to be entertained at every moment of the day. This mentality, has been a part of my mission, the un-doing of being a typical American and stepping into my rightful lineage of mighty woman of God. I feel it necessary to mention here that the only reason why it is my rightful lineage is because Jesus Christ died for me and became my Savior. He took the punishment for my sins and misgivings. And in turn, I'm set on yielding myself to His working within me. I will not stop. I will not be distracted by the things of the world because boy, they are dead set on keeping me from running this race!

     "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24

    When God points out your next move, run! Run like you've never ran before. Don't stop for anything. Don't turn your face to the right or to the left, just keep on running. When you're on a mission, don't stop. The enemy will try and distract you if he hasn't already succeeded at stopping you. He's a savage, he doesn't care one bit about us. He has all the allure of a dead and rotting corpse. But don't cash in for his plan, which may sound nice or sounds like it will be a short cut to where you need to go. But you will not have completed your mission as God had originally set you forth to do.

    This world has a plethora of distractions. They come in the form of games; TV shows, apps, perceived needs, goals set forth by worldly wisdom. But what are we really achieving to unless it is for the furtherance of the Kingdom? Whatever we do that isn't in line with God's will for our lives will be cast into the fire. (Matt 7:19, Matt 3:10, John 15:6)

    So, what is it that I'm supposed to be doing with my time then? I'm coming to find it's a lot less complicated than I thought... This has been an interesting journey I've been on and it seems as though it's just beginning, really.

   "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27

   "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give." Matthew 10:8

    This is what normal should look like. This is what it is supposed to look like. This is what I strive to attain. This was the great commission, it was meant for you and I too. We may not have been standing there that day hearing it but it's just as valid today as it was then. Because: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

    Nothing has changed, only our perception. If we regard the Bible as truth then this is our life. This is what we strive toward. This is God's will, bringing the Kingdom to earth— "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:10 
     Because that's what Jesus did while He was here. If you're a Christian- a follower of Christ then this is what you do.

    Now that I've discovered that this really is supposed to be my reality too, I won't stop until it is. I don't stand condemned, nor should you. I feel a fire rising up within me to seek God more than ever and grow closer in communion and in friendship with Him than ever. He knows I'm a stubborn woman and He also knows He can use that to His glory and I am more than happy to lend myself to Him. I am more than happy to live for Him. Because He has made eternity possible for me. He has blessed me beyond measure. He has loved me more in one moment than anyone can manage in a lifetime. He is my heavenly Father.

    I hope this has encouraged you today. It has encouraged me in my seeking and my perceived silence in the virtual world of the internet. But I have been far from silent, I've been pressing in and asking questions that only my Father has answers to.

    My request today; let us stop wasting time screwing around with time wasters and momentary distractions and start doing things that move the heart of the Father. Let us live from a Kingdom minded standpoint. Let us love the way He loves and do as He does. Jesus did what He saw the Father doing and this too, was our directive because we follow after Him.

   Be blessed today friends, bless others.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Transparency

    There is this lovely gift that you can bestow upon cherished persons around you, transparency. The true, to the core real you. Unhindered; un-polished, uninhibited, the real deal. Whether we realize it or not, we all need these kinds of relationships where we can just relax and be ourselves. We don't have to change our approach, the way we speak or guard the way we act.

    Are these relationships difficult to cultivate? I would say they are. Just think about it, how many people are you able to completely be yourself around? Are there certain aspects of your character that you hide from people? Do you speak in a certain way with others? It's odd how our demeanor changes around certain people... Are we trying to impress them? Are we hiding?

    I know from personal experience I hide information about myself from certain persons because I know all they'll do with it is dissect it and judge and magnify any fault they can find. There are plenty of people out there like that. So, I can understand that. It seems we're better off disassociating ourselves with persons like that. Bad company corrupts good character.

    But how many people do we just keep it real around? And what is it that makes those people who are in your in crowd, in? Is there a such this as being a good friend anymore? It seems that with the age of technology, there is a death within friendships. The death of connectivity and being real. We can all sit behind a computer and be whoever we want to be with only virtual backlash. But are we really who we say we are when the rubber hit the pavement?

   When tragedy strikes there is always an out pouring of condolences toward the persons affected but how many are willing to get their hands dirty?

    Are we as a people willing to lay our judgments and pretenses aside and allow others to be genuine around us? Or are we going to keep them on high alert but watching them speculatively from beneath our brow? Humans were meant to live from a place of community and one-ness. We were meant to help each other out, not only humans but other beings too.

   We as a people should be concerned with cultivating genuine relationships and friendships, not just who is beneficial to us at certain times. -Who can get us what we need, when we think we need it. There have to be people in our lives who we can be completely transparent around, the ones who will love us through the tears and the pain. The ones who will rejoice when we rejoice, because our victory is like a victory for them. Our spouse should be that person and if they're not, work on that. Our best friend should be that person, work on that. If you're feeling that these leading people in your life are no longer the people you can be transparent around, sit down and have a very casual conversation with them. Don't accuse, just share...

    More over, the number one person we should be transparent with is God. He already knows anyhow, so you might as well do your best to put it into words. And when you have no words, mumbling and tears will suffice because the Holy Spirit can interpret for you. God loves us more than we could ever imagine, no matter how far fallen we think we are, there is always a way back and that way is Jesus. I know this is fact because I've seen the proof in my own life. If there is ever a relationship aside from our human, day in and day out relationships to nurture, it's our relationship with God. God has seen and created the beginning and He can also see the end. God is the One we can always, no matter how ugly, keep it real with.

    But I do know, we were meant to have deep and meaningful relationships with others while were here on this planet too. Otherwise, we wouldn't have a longing for it. That is a longing only our Creator could place within us.

   So, if you need to make a change in this area of your life, your relationships are lacking that certain genuine-ness, YOU be the change. Give it a go. Listen to the people in your life and don't listen just long enough to assemble your own reply. Listen just to hear them. Reach out to others, they may be in need of a friend and you have no idea what kind of place they're in. Stop judging! Please, just stop. Don't think you're better than someone because you don't do the "bad" thing they do, guess what, that bad thing they do, is just different from the bad things you do. In other words, don't judge someone because they sin differently than you do. And don't for a minute think that you are without sin, if you do you're only fooling yourself. We can all hop down off our high horses and love others freely and genuinely.
    "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8 
 
     We must be the change that we wish to see in the world around us, it has to be within us before it is manifested elsewhere. If we're not willing to love others with abandon, when we are capable, why would it be so for us? Who are we that we should be pampered and groveled after?

   "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

    "If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is a sin for them." James 4:17

    Those are the last bits I will leave you with... Gosh, I love the Word of God, it speaks so true and blunt and to the point! You can't find wisdom like this anywhere else!

   Be the change friends, bless someone today merely by just being love to them. If Christ is your savior, I know you've got it in you.
      Be blessed.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Unoffended

     With the political agenda's in full swing and the devil handily at work these days, it seems as though, everyone is easily offended. Watch the news or read the paper to see in full view the various marches taking place for "rights" that are already obtained or not even being threatened. It's been astonishing to watch the actions being taken that have led to destruction that could have other wise been avoided. And all the while, being so easily offended, no one has taken thought to the One who is likely the most offended, God.

    We take up offense more quickly than we consider and weight our reaction. Which, reaction isn't the thing that is needed right now, it's just God. We need more of God in this state we're in, we need a restoration of faith. We've been so fooled to think that our marches and protests will gain for us the thing that we think we want or deserve, clouding out our true need of God. God has been mistakenly tossed out of establishments and homes as being archaic and extreme. But tell me, if everyone lived as God calls us to, would we have the troubles we are seeing in the world today? Would there be murder? Would there be abuse? Would there be rivalry?

    "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear them from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

    Taking into account that God is real and that He does exist, what right do we have to take offense? Who do you think you are that you think you have the right to be so angry and boil over and act so poorly to others? Is it not our call to be loving to one another? Is it not in our best interest to treat others as better than ourselves? Is it not our declaration to speak only what will lift others up, rather than bring them down— because you "feel" offended...? It is not our right to be offended and display such terrible behavior because our "feelings" were hurt. Do you know what feeling are? They're temporary. That's all. I don't feel the same about things and people as I did 6 months ago. Feelings, much like today's sunrise and sunset, come and go.

    Being so easily offended is exalting ourselves above all else. Including God. Does that sting hearing that? It should. And if it does, we've struck a chord and that's good... Now we must get to work on being un-offendable.

    It isn't our job to bring to fruition the things of God in others, the things and virtues He plants within each of us. He is the one to make it grow, He is the gardener.

     "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in my that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful...... I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." John 15:1-2, 5-8

    We have two answers here, One; the Father is the gardener. Two; we are the branches that are to remain in Christ. Apart from Him we can do nothing. We're capable of living lives without Christ but it isn't of any eternal value.
 
    If we are to walk like Jesus every single day and keep our eyes fixed on Him, will we be offended? Will anything unkindly that anyone say or does even matter? You may have that one person at work that rubs you the wrong way. You may have that one person that has an answer for everything that is constantly interrupting you and others. You may have a spouse that storms about the house in a ridiculous display of childish behavior. Or an in-law that gets under your skin. Whatever the case may be, the answer is Jesus.

    Oh, I'm not sitting here telling you it's easy. It's takes an awful lot of yielding and restraint on our part but eventually it will be a success. It's hard not to pipe off at the mouth sometimes, I know. The humbling part about it... It's not our job to tell someone else that they're behaving poorly. I know, I know, but we want to. Somewhere within us, we want to tell them all the things they're said and done wrong but honestly, chances are, they won't listen anyhow.

     If I concern myself with only my walk with Christ (which should be my only end) then I am enabled to pay no mind nor take any offense to what others say and do. In the meantime, in regard to others, we can pray for them.

     "Father God, please tell this guy how much of a jerk he is and get him fired so no one has to deal with him anymore, he really makes my day and life miserable........" No, no, no... tempting but, no.

    Our obedience and change of heart lies within the recognition of grace bestowed upon us. The moment you realized how good God has been to you in spite of your behavior, you experienced His grace. It caused you to understand at least one small facet of His love for you, which is overwhelmingly endless. Pray for others? Pray that they would come to understand God's love for them, that He would lavish that love upon them in a tangible and unmistakable way. As for you dear reader, your involvement, continue to love them as Christ does. It isn't difficult if Jesus is doing it through us, it's a matter of us getting over ourselves, forgiving the offense and continuing to push forward in a loving and Christ like manner. Humility here is the key...

   I write these things not because I have already mastered them myself, it is because it is something God is working in me to accomplish as well. My walk with Jesus is a marathon not a sprint and I'm learning something new every single day. I am often reminded to keep my mouth shut so that I can yield to Him. I am reminded:

    "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

     "But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgement for every empty word that have spoken." Matthew 12:36

    Ask the Holy Spirit to work into you wholesome speech and to only speak things that will lift others up. We as a people need to get over ourselves and our feelings and get back to what is most important and that is God. Paying attention only to our walk with God and not what others are doing or how they've offended us. God is the only One who can change a person and in their own time, not on our time line. It can be discouraging and frustrating to be subject to poor behavior, especially from someone close to you. I know it hurts. But this is the call to pray that much harder and more fervently for them and for your situation. It's also a call to press into God even more. He is the only One who can accomplish anything in this life.

   Much love and blessings to you all.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Waiting..........

   




  Waiting... When I think of waiting I picture myself in a line that isn't moving. My legs are getting tired; I'm getting restless, I'm hungry and I'm beginning to lose my patience. I'm ready to turn around and walk out the door and come back another time. But you know what, we wait— all the time in our lives. We're standing still while our lives are passing us by. And you know what else, God called us to a life filled with action, not a life filled with impatient passivity. Watching the days pass by, as we wait for something that we really want.

    For anyone who knows me, you know that I struggle with winter's, a lot. It isn't just the snow or the cold, it wreaks havoc on my body. I'm in a great deal of pain, every single day. It's tempting for me to just muddle through the winter months that pass, holding onto the hope of spring- with no care of the time in between. I've done it before and I've found that I missed out on my life. There was an entire block of time I wasn't actually present in, I wasn't engaged, I was too busy waiting.

   Waiting can keep you busy, even as some part of you is standing still- you're still busy. You're fixated on your chosen focal point and not paying much mind to what is going on around you. The days blur and run one right into the next. You wake up and do things and you go to bed, unfulfilled, waiting for the next day to come because hopefully, it will be better. I think it's easy to get into this frame of mind when you do suffer from chronic pain, whether it be physical or emotional. We're always holding out hope in the mean time.

   I came to the realization that while waiting for the better days to come, I wasn't living my life. I was accomplishing tasks but not living. I was getting the things I needed to get done for the day but not actually living my life. It wasn't fulfilling. It wasn't satisfying. It wasn't godly.

    "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God' love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5

    "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:24

    "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Philippians 3:12

    We can't run this race, standing still... Life is a race. The life we have been called to, is a race. There is an element of peace and rest that is always available to us through Christ Jesus our Lord, it can only be accomplished through Him. But the life we are called to isn't accomplished through our indignant complacency. When we're impatiently waiting for "the next best thing" we are essentially saying— I don't care about all this other stuff, I just want to get to the thing I have my eyes on. And that my friends, isn't living.

    God is in the small stuff. He's in the ordinary stuff. He's in the everyday stuff and we'll be remiss to see Him if we're focusing on something far off in the future. I know there are souls out there who feel as though God doesn't speak to them but my question is, are you listening or are you somewhere else?

   Pain sucks, we want to escape it. Uncomfortable situations are miserable. Heart break is awful. Winter (for me) is absolute misery. Dealing with difficult circumstances really begins to wear on you. I get it. I truly do. But as another birthday comes and goes and you look in the mirror and see that you've more wrinkles or see a new gray hair, realize that your life is passing by as you wait. Stop waiting! Your life is right now! It is here, in this place, doing the things you're doing, with the people you're with. Don't go to bed with the to-do list checked off anymore, live through it. Don't merely survive the days, live through them. As difficult as some days may be but be encouraged that the Lord is always with you. He truly is. We can't see Him if we're looking forward to a day somewhere off in the future because He is here now.

    "This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

     Live your life now, stop waiting. Even if this life that you currently have isn't what you wanted, there is always a hope for the future. But to take hold of that future life, we must persevere through the life at hand, and do it with a joy filled heart. God is in today, He is all around us— just look for Him. We can't afford to take up a position of standing still within the recesses of our hearts when we're called to a race. Envision the finish line but enjoy and participate in the race as you travel along, it will be well worth the journey, to one day arrive before the Father and hear- "Well done, good and faithful servant." Oh those words are enough, to know I made my Father proud, living my life in full capacity. He is the only one I want to please, He is the only one whose opinion matters.

    Be blessed today friends.