Trust

    It's been a long week and it's only Wednesday... This happens often. It's been a whirlwind few months, this happens often too.
 
      Our trust isn't in ourselves alone because it's fallible. Our strength isn't in ourselves alone because our strength runs out. We don't rely on our own wit or wisdom because we can't see what will happen even 5 minutes from now. I do know Who has an endless supply of strength; wisdom and who is faithful. God!

     God brings us through with each step, His Son never leaves our side. He is the steady hand on my shoulder as I work quickly to bring a fever down. He is the quiet voice amidst the crying, He is the calm in the middle of the storm. He is, I am.

    We've seen Him present in everything over the course of the last several months. From the femur fracture with Cookiepants, to the surgery and it's timing and now this monster cold that has over taken her. We trust in His loving care to cause her to thirst again. We trust in the fellow believers praying on her behalf, that those prayers are affecting her recovery in a positive way. We trust in His leading, knowing what to do with her and when.

    To the world and the worldly mind it sounds like utter madness but it makes perfect sense to us. There is this path we have been traveling along for a few years now that has brought us to this point. To a point of utter reliance and being present. We are here, being who God created us to be, doing or not doing the things He has ordained or asked us to refrain from. That is all. Worry doesn't cloud our thinking nearly as much as it used to. Worry doesn't add to a circumstance, it only takes away your presence of mind. Trying to do everything and all at once- no longer necessary. It never was necessary, we just hadn't understood that yet.

   Though our problems aren't solved and our circumstances haven't changed much- though they've improved slowly, I still have peace today. We don't know what the day will hold, as it is unpredictable every day. There is no general thrumb to pick up on and ride the wave through the day. Floating through the day would take away from the intricate details, the little ones that are the reminders that God is still here and His hands are all over everything. I want to see that, I don't want to bury myself in mock busyness just to take my attention away from my current reality. I don't want to displace the pain because I know it would inevitably revisit me and show up somewhere else. Pain has a way of doing that. So don't avoid it, stare it in the face. Be bold. Be brave because God is right there with you.

    "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do no be afraid." John 14:27

     This is why I trust Him, if He said it, it will be so. Or the peace that surpasses all understanding. He said it, it will be so. I know that I can trust Jesus, trusting Him doesn't make things easier but I know His promises are true. Much of the things that happen, I don't understand but He does. And I trust Him.

    We're still here being who God created us to be, exactly where we are supposed to be. Brighter things are on the horizon, we know this but for now, we trust in His timing and trust His direction.
We used to live within the most common option, which was to trust in ourselves for everything. It didn't work out well and we were exhausted. Trusting in God has alleviated much of the stress and mental and emotional exhaustion. This is where I would rather be, this is where I would rather live my life- over here with God.

     With trust, comes peace. Reach out to the only one that knows, He will never leave you nor forsake you.

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     God bless.

Adulting doesn't have to suck.

       Psssssssst..... come'ere, I wanna tell you a secret... Come a little closer- there, that's perfect. You ready?
      -Just because we're adults, our life doesn't have to suck... No really, It doesn't. -Yes, of course I'm serious, you don't have to look so bewildered.

       I've recently come to the conclusion that it doesn't have to be all work and no play or laughter or planning everything to the nth degree. I've seen a meme going around the internet that the Bible says: "Fear not" like 365 times but I think it may actually be more. I haven't counted, that would take a lot of time. Okay, cross check, Google says it is indeed 365 times. So guess what, that's no coincidence and there is in fact one "fear not" for each day of the year!

      Think about that for a minute, what is the root of all your adulting anxiety? I know what mine is, FEAR! I had one smart college professor that professed that fear was- False Evidence Appearing Real. That really stuck with me!

     I still have days where my mind starts spinning out of control with all the what if's and believe me, there are a lot of them. But honestly, as of late, I really just don't care. They're not my problem. Jesus told me to come to Him and He would give me rest and give me His yoke which is much easier than mine. So guess what, daily (dismissing fear) I turn over my burdens to Him. He's got it. Yes, He's strong enough. Who else could have managed to die on the cross for all the sins of the world? God in the flesh, that's who.

      With my new "fear not" banner waving proudly in the air (courtesy of Jesus, of course) I've had the distinct pleasure of feeling alive again. Yes, alive. No, I wasn't dead before but I surely wasn't living... I was getting by each day, head hitting the pillow exhausted. Oh I'm still tired some days, I'm human but my heart isn't so heavily weighed down with all the burdens of life.

      We of course have a unique circumstance in our house, our daughter... Whose fate we can't be certain, we don't know any of our fates but there is one things we do know about our fate- where we're going. That is one thing that helps me sleep at night, should anything happen to any one of us, we will one day be together again. Thank you Lord Jesus!!! I can't thank Him enough and I can't manage to live my life enough for Him either! It's a debt I simply pay nor did He expect me to. He just wants me to trust Him. So, everyday I wake up there is an exchange that takes place. I hand over my stuff and He gives me His peace. Yes, It's that easy... There are times throughout the day where the enemy tries to steal it but it's as simple as readjusting my vision back to Him.

      It has absolutely broken me how little I've been "living" rather than just getting by and surviving the day. Yes, broken. It's been like a thick cloud of oppression. It was dark and thick and miserable in there. I wasn't alone in there, maybe it was something I needed to go though to get to where I am now and have some staying power here. I never knew a sadness like I became acquainted with other the last two years, it was debilitating. There are still days where I feel emotional but I've learned that I need to experience them rather than suppress them.

      On the difficult days I know I can kneel at the foot of the cross and surrender everything over to Jesus once more. There isn't a limit. There is no end to His love and understanding. He will never tell me to go away. And He will never leave my side.

     I'm re-learning how to be an adult, the most responsible way I know how. It's been a matter of erasing everything I thought that I knew and replacing it with His truths. I'm letting go of the wheel and giving it over to Him, Jesus will do a much better job of avoiding the pot holes and pit falls of life than I will. I can have a bit more fun too because I'm not shouldering all that unnecessary responsibility that just isn't mine. It's not mine, say it with me. IT'S NOT MINE! Now give up. Really, it's safe, give up. Give it over to Jesus and start to live for Him rather than for whatever the world is telling you to live for. If you're living for Him, you're loving people in all the right ways. You're doing your part in the world but the stress is gone. Poof! Gone.

      The heck with stress and anxiety and all those other awful things were plagued with. Screw them all! We don't need them, do we? Life is so hard that we don't even get out of here alive... Haha... sorry, a little humor there. But we can have eternal life and that friends, that is a beautiful thing!

      Hey, don't let adulting get you down. Talk to Jesus, He'd love to hear from you and He'd love to share in your burdens with you and your triumphs. He's an amazing man.

    I'm off to go color in my blanket fort, have a stellar day friends!