Transparency

    There is this lovely gift that you can bestow upon cherished persons around you, transparency. The true, to the core real you. Unhindered; un-polished, uninhibited, the real deal. Whether we realize it or not, we all need these kinds of relationships where we can just relax and be ourselves. We don't have to change our approach, the way we speak or guard the way we act.

    Are these relationships difficult to cultivate? I would say they are. Just think about it, how many people are you able to completely be yourself around? Are there certain aspects of your character that you hide from people? Do you speak in a certain way with others? It's odd how our demeanor changes around certain people... Are we trying to impress them? Are we hiding?

    I know from personal experience I hide information about myself from certain persons because I know all they'll do with it is dissect it and judge and magnify any fault they can find. There are plenty of people out there like that. So, I can understand that. It seems we're better off disassociating ourselves with persons like that. Bad company corrupts good character.

    But how many people do we just keep it real around? And what is it that makes those people who are in your in crowd, in? Is there a such this as being a good friend anymore? It seems that with the age of technology, there is a death within friendships. The death of connectivity and being real. We can all sit behind a computer and be whoever we want to be with only virtual backlash. But are we really who we say we are when the rubber hit the pavement?

   When tragedy strikes there is always an out pouring of condolences toward the persons affected but how many are willing to get their hands dirty?

    Are we as a people willing to lay our judgments and pretenses aside and allow others to be genuine around us? Or are we going to keep them on high alert but watching them speculatively from beneath our brow? Humans were meant to live from a place of community and one-ness. We were meant to help each other out, not only humans but other beings too.

   We as a people should be concerned with cultivating genuine relationships and friendships, not just who is beneficial to us at certain times. -Who can get us what we need, when we think we need it. There have to be people in our lives who we can be completely transparent around, the ones who will love us through the tears and the pain. The ones who will rejoice when we rejoice, because our victory is like a victory for them. Our spouse should be that person and if they're not, work on that. Our best friend should be that person, work on that. If you're feeling that these leading people in your life are no longer the people you can be transparent around, sit down and have a very casual conversation with them. Don't accuse, just share...

    More over, the number one person we should be transparent with is God. He already knows anyhow, so you might as well do your best to put it into words. And when you have no words, mumbling and tears will suffice because the Holy Spirit can interpret for you. God loves us more than we could ever imagine, no matter how far fallen we think we are, there is always a way back and that way is Jesus. I know this is fact because I've seen the proof in my own life. If there is ever a relationship aside from our human, day in and day out relationships to nurture, it's our relationship with God. God has seen and created the beginning and He can also see the end. God is the One we can always, no matter how ugly, keep it real with.

    But I do know, we were meant to have deep and meaningful relationships with others while were here on this planet too. Otherwise, we wouldn't have a longing for it. That is a longing only our Creator could place within us.

   So, if you need to make a change in this area of your life, your relationships are lacking that certain genuine-ness, YOU be the change. Give it a go. Listen to the people in your life and don't listen just long enough to assemble your own reply. Listen just to hear them. Reach out to others, they may be in need of a friend and you have no idea what kind of place they're in. Stop judging! Please, just stop. Don't think you're better than someone because you don't do the "bad" thing they do, guess what, that bad thing they do, is just different from the bad things you do. In other words, don't judge someone because they sin differently than you do. And don't for a minute think that you are without sin, if you do you're only fooling yourself. We can all hop down off our high horses and love others freely and genuinely.
    "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." 1 John 1:8 
 
     We must be the change that we wish to see in the world around us, it has to be within us before it is manifested elsewhere. If we're not willing to love others with abandon, when we are capable, why would it be so for us? Who are we that we should be pampered and groveled after?

   "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

    "If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is a sin for them." James 4:17

    Those are the last bits I will leave you with... Gosh, I love the Word of God, it speaks so true and blunt and to the point! You can't find wisdom like this anywhere else!

   Be the change friends, bless someone today merely by just being love to them. If Christ is your savior, I know you've got it in you.
      Be blessed.

When your heart breaks

     I used to think I was a nice person when I was younger... I was nice to the people I knew, I would give them the shirt off my back if they needed it. Paying for lunch was my pleasure. I wasn't afraid to smile at strangers. I'd watch the news and hear stories but would carry on with my life. I figured as long as it wasn't near me or wasn't anyone I knew, it was almost as though it wasn't real. It was on TV, it didn't feel real. I avoided thinking about the pain, I didn't want to. Who wants to feel pain? But the truth was, my heart was stone. Until I met Jesus my heart was made out of stone. He is the only one who can give us a new heart, one that is soft and kind. No matter how good we think we are, we have no shot at anything perceived as goodness unless Jesus is our savior. And even then, the goodness that does come from us is in fact His goodness radiating from us.

     "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

    My heart broke in an irreparable way. Sure, I don't walk around with my head hung low, sobbing every day anymore. God soothed and mended my broken heart but the crack that occurred 3 years ago is still there. It doesn't hurt the way it used to. Now, I feel, mostly love pours forth from it. It wouldn't have been possible without God, this I assure you.
   
         "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 146:3

     I absolutely counted on that scripture to become a reality in my life and eventually, after I stopped trying to force myself to live again, that scripture became a reality to me. It wasn't just some quaint fragment that someone once shared with me. It was something I read and was written on the tablet of my heart. I prayed and poured over it. I begged that it would become real to me because I didn't want to be lost in the darkness anymore. And once I began to reemerge again, I felt the Spirit tell me that the crack in my heart that I suffered would remain because that was where His light would shine through. I had two choices; be bitter or let His light shine through- through my deepest pain. Here I am. I'm not bitter. I don't "feel" broken. My heart swells with His love and my own wonderment. He is my strength. He is my peace. He is my rock and my salvation.

     I often look back across this journey with Cookiepants and dote upon the work of God in our lives. The utter lengths we've been taken to and the lessons we've learned from them and the growth that we've yielded. But none of this would have been made possible had our hearts not been stripped bare of all the "worldly overgrowth." Whether it's the correct answer or not, I've come to the determination that this was necessary. God is still sovereign. He is still on the throne. He will birth good from this, He already has.

     I look into Cookiepants' eyes and wonder what she sees? Does she see her mom? Or am I just some nice lady that kisses her and tells her she's beautiful? Does she know that I love her? Does she know she's safe here with us and that we'll care for her even unto our last breath? Will she stay here for a while longer? These are some hard questions that pass through my mind, often. I try not to ask them or even entertain them in my mind because they're far more painful than anything any parent truly wants to think about. They often cause me to cry, from deep within the crack in my heart- the one that never fully healed but yet, is mended. God is there. God is here. I've often prayed that when Cookiepants is quietly giggling to herself, the angels are telling her about her life here, in a way that she understands. I pray that they tell her how much we love her and that I feel honored to be her mom. Oh when those bright blue-green eyes look up at me, I feel nothing but love. A love like no other I've ever felt...

    So you see, the break is still there. God has filled it in and continues to, in a way only He can. I'm happy to let Him, He will do a far better job than I ever could. One last bit of encouragement—

    "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." James 4:8

    He will. I assure you of this one thing. Earnestly seek Him in your brokenness and He will be there.

    We live in a fallen world, where fallen things happen. But God is good, all the time. There is nothing about Him that isn't good. We often don't understand the things that happen in the world, I certainly don't. I don't love this world, I love many people who are passing through here... But there is a place where things are all made right. I yearn for it. I long for it. There is an "alarm" that often goes off within me, reminding me of how wrong the world is... I am grateful this isn't my home. But Jesus is making a place for me and for anyone else who trusts in Him. I will be elated when-
     
      "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

    One day dear friends... One day.
    Be a blessing to someone today, they need it.

Just passing through...

     I keep seeing this meme going around- "not my circus, not my monkeys." I didn't really think it was all that funny but rather a reminder about my place here on this planet.

    "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as it's own. As it is, you do not belong to the world but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: 'a servant is not greater than his master,' if they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." John 15:18-20

      I wanna pick this apart a little bit, really zoom in there if we can. "If the world hates you," let's start there... Why do they hate you? Are you a jerk or do they hate you because 'you take this Jesus thing too seriously?' Do you not share in all the world views? Do you follow along with Jesus when others think you've completely lost your mind?

    If you're a jerk, knock it off! Life is too short to project your misery onto everyone else. And whether you believe it or not, you'll have to take account for everything you've done. We all will. I know I don't want to stand at the judgement seat of God and have to give account for a bunch of miserable things with no other excuse than my own sad attempt at excusing myself. No excuse holds water as far as God is concerned. But there is one way to get pardoned, Jesus.

    So, you take the "Jesus thing" seriously... Fantastic! Jesus is far more real than your hand in front of you.

   It is an immediate response to retaliate when someone makes an offense against you, right? It crosses our minds even if we don't follow through. Jesus says forgive 70 times 7, essentially He says, keep forgiving and don't keep track.

    "As it is, you do not belong to the world but I have chosen you out of the world."
If you ever feel unspecial or unimportant, you're not. You were chosen, you are dearly loved by the God of the universe. He tells you in the Bible countless times! If you don't believe me, have a look for yourself. He also tells us not to worry about our lives here. I know that sounds hard to do because we do get a bit attached to things and people here but there is something far better than here. It is with Him in heaven. And He can tell you not to worry because He is assured of this place and you can be assured if only you trust and believe.

     "A servant is not greater than his master, if they persecuted me they will persecute you also."
I'd have to say this one is pretty obvious, we're not exempt just as Jesus was not exempt. The Pharisees and other religious leaders of that time were always seeking to kill Him. Jesus was always ducking out of crowds and seeking refuge in quiet far off places any chance He could get. He was in trouble. He was an outlaw for the right reasons.

   Are you an outlaw for the right reasons? Are you sought for advice and help? Is your insight requested?
   
       It's quite alright to stick out in a crowd, Jesus certainly did. It's alright to be an outcast, Jesus was. If you take up your cross daily and follow the Lord and you're met with ridicule by those who are of this world, you're in good company. The Bible tells us in Matthew 7:13-14, "Enter through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate ans narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few will find it."

    "Few will find it," -Wow, few... You are one of few. Checking google today, there are 7.4 billion people in the world right now. So of those 7.4 billion, few will find the narrow path that leads to life, eternal life, that is. I want to be one of the few. I will follow Jesus even while everyone around me doesn't understand or laughs at me. I will follow Him, He's more real than this temporal place that I live in. He's more real that my "real life problems," He's also bigger than my "real life problems." My problems and troubles pale in comparison to the glory that is coming! Oh what a fine day it will be.

    I had it on my heart to share this message today, someone needed it, including me. It's a message I continually need to be reminded of myself, the world, the life, all seems to huge and so real sometimes. When really, we're only passing through. We've all got a set time here. We've all got a set list of goals to accomplish and lessons to teach others. One day it all will make sense, we're assured of this.

   
   

My home on earth

     When I woke this morning, I looked outside to find it's snowing! Typical thing this time of year, but it's the first. I sat for a few moments and watched all the individual and unique snowflakes fall to the ground. Some melting upon contact to the patio and others collecting in bunches with the others in the grass.
     The sight of the snow takes me back. Back to when I was a kid again, staring up at the sky watching as every flake threatened to land on my face. Mouth wide open, arms extended and smiling. It was always the best going back into the house, getting out of my snow attire and looking into our yard to see my accomplishments for the day. The snowman; the fort, the wall to hide behind. Even the track the dog's feet had worn into the snow around his run chain. And if you have a dog, of course you know about yellow snow :(
     But the greatest thing of it all is that when I had enough of the cold, I could always go back into the house and get warm. Sometimes I would even fix myself a cup of hot cocoa or hot apple cider. Now, I only drink hot tea. I couldn't imagine not having a home, could you?
     Not long ago, I was in a place where I had a roof over my head, though it wasn't my own, I still had warmth to come home to. The living situation was getting to be increasingly difficult and at times I felt unsafe.
I prayed... I prayed for my Father to get me out of that situation because I knew it wasn't conducive to living a more Righteous lifestyle. I prayed He would place me where ever He wanted me. And He did. I awoke one morning unafraid of the delusions I had developed about taking the chance of failing. I made one stop somewhere, she made a phone call and I waited a couple days... After the couple days had passed, I got probably one of the happiest phone calls I had gotten in a long while; "congratulations! When do you want to move in?"
     I cried as soon as I hung up the phone. My Father heard my prayers. I cried and prayed to Him so many nights and because I was at the end of my rope and wasn't fighting Him anymore He responded- big.
      I often refer to our place as our humble home or His house. Because it is. Without His gentle persuasion who knows where I'd be. Without faith I would have stayed in the hamster wheel of fear and doubt and grieving.
       I guess I am bringing up two points here. One, you MUST stay faithful in prayer and in deed. And stop fighting Him, He wants to bring good things into your life. And once you let go and let God, He will.
      Point two, be grateful for the home that you have. Unless of course you are in danger, then you must act. Faith requires action. There are too many people out there who don't have a home. They aren't outside "playing" in the snow... They may have no other choice but to live it out until spring breaks.

     What can we do? How far can our arms reach? How can we get involved to do some sort of outreach? And honestly too, from the out pour of our hearts! Whether it be through our Church communities or you spending a saturday helping those less fortunate than yourself. How can you? Pray about it.
        I find joy in scrubbing my toilet and cleaning and cooking and doing the laundry. I find joy in the little things that some people are only inconvenienced by. I love it! My Father placed me in this home, His home. He wanted me safe. He wanted me warm. I stopped fighting Him on something in my heart I wanted so badly. But at the time I just didn't know how to receive it. I let go.

Let me leave you with two pieces of scripture,
     "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7


- And if we are truly to be more Christ-like (being His followers)
"For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, Mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." Deuteronomy 10: 17-18 

I pray we can make the changes in the ways we have only talked about doing so. I pray we can do the things we have merely aspired to do or commended someone else for doing. I pray we can be give thanks and  praise to our Father who looks out for us and provides when we really don't deserve it. We don't "deserve" anything! It's all His anyway, we've just got it on loan.

God bless!